Your Mother Told You What?

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@HazySue (39264)
Gouverneur, New York
February 8, 2018 9:45am CST
This morning an article about child support and social services brought to mind a conversation that I had a few years ago with one of my students. We were talking about the fact that her mother was going to be having her 4th baby any day. The student was filling me in on how the daddy to be has just disappeared into thin air. All of the sudden she asked me how many children I had. I told her I had three girls. She then asked me if any of them had the same father. It shocked me for a moment and I was speechless. Finally I told her that they all had the same father. She seemed surprised. She then told me that her mama said that when you have a baby you should make sure that each baby had a different father. Why was that I asked. Apparently her mother told her that when you have one baby per father you get more child support than if you had the same father for your babies. It sounded like she was preparing her daughter for the future of using the system. What to you think of this? It made me wonder if love entered into baby making at all in their lives.
11 people like this
10 responses
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
8 Feb 18
I am speechless too that a mother would give this kind of advice to her daughter.
5 people like this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
The last time I saw this former student she was 20 years old with a toddler and a baby. They did not have the same father.
Judy Story
@jstory07 (134456)
• Roseburg, Oregon
8 Feb 18
A mother should be telling her child to marry only if you are in love and to have children when you are ready.
3 people like this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
That's what I told my girls. I will always remember this child, she was a sweet girl.
Valerie J. Routhieaux
@just4him (306134)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 Feb 18
It certainly doesn't sound like it. It does sound like her mother is preparing her to be a tramp. I don't think you can use the other word I'm thinking of on here. Find a guy, go out with him for the night or nights, get knocked up and then sue him for child support. No love there. I feel sorry for the fathers of her siblings, and herself. It's not a good way to raise a child.
2 people like this
Valerie J. Routhieaux
@just4him (306134)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Feb 18
@HazySue Boy, has she been brainwashed. She was how old? Those kinds of ideas when set in so young are almost impossible to change.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
10 Feb 18
@just4him When I had the conversation with her she was 11 years old. When I found out she had 2 children she was 20.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
It certainly is not. I tried talking to her about a home, husband and family but she felt that the money was what she needed. She told me her money told her that if you work it right, you don't need a husband.
1 person likes this
Judy Evans
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Feb 18
This is amazing. I know girls who've become pregnant because the grant they can get here before the baby arrives would pay for a new you-beaut TV. What a dreadful mindset.
2 people like this
Judy Evans
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Feb 18
@HazySue Certainly selling her short. What a dreadful role-model.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
10 Feb 18
@JudyEv It really is a shame.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
I don't understand a mother who does not want better for their child. To me is sort of like selling your daughter.
1 person likes this
Courtney
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
8 Feb 18
Just wow.
2 people like this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
It kind of makes you speechless doesn't it?
1 person likes this
Courtney
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
10 Feb 18
@HazySue oh yes.
1 person likes this
Robin
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
8 Feb 18
.... I'd be speechless too! All my kids are my husbands. I know quite a few who have multiple baby daddy's or baby mamas. It doesn't seem like a great situation when people just use babies as attempt to force a relationship or as an income possibility. Either of those cases the kids needs come last if at all. :( I hope that girl found a more positive role model...
3 people like this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
No, the girl is having her babies with different men and collecting that money just like her mama.
Toni
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
8 Feb 18
wow! Can't believe a mother would tell that to her own daughter. Poor child.
2 people like this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
It isn't the way to raise a child for sure. She was teaching her how to play the system.
1 person likes this
ultraman cosmos
@id_peace (14005)
• Singapore
18 Jun 18
Wow her mum is such a negative influence.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
19 Jun 18
I don't know why any mother would say something like that.
1 person likes this
Marie
@Tampa_girl7 (48929)
• United States
9 Feb 18
That is heartbreaking to hear
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
It was to me. I remember this conversation because of the shock of it all.
DianneN
@DianneN (246729)
• United States
9 Feb 18
How awful! It sounds like cycles of bad parenting skills who try to use the system. I had a student whose mother tried to get each of her many children into special education, so she could bilk the state. She had no job, a large home, a new car, and a built in pool. The state finally made the laws stiffer, and she moved.
1 person likes this
Susan
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
9 Feb 18
I have seen that also. It's awful what they will do to try and get money from the government.
1 person likes this
DianneN
@DianneN (246729)
• United States
10 Feb 18
@HazySue It is just awful. Such nasty schemers.
1 person likes this