Too harsh - or justifiable ?

Picture of my young son taken by me.
@Kandae11 (53679)
February 10, 2018 10:22am CST
I read in the Caribbean news that a pastor has been sentenced to 40 years imprisonment for having sexual relations with a fifteen year old girl he was counseling. The forty-six year old pastor who headed a large congregation will have no chance of parole until he has served at least thirty years. It is the view of some that his sentence is too harsh while others believe it should be heavier - what do you think? The above photo is of my young son who is now an adult . Up to age nine - he was hardly ever out of my sight, except during his school hours - I was a very protective parent. Are you - or were you a very protective parent? Can we really protect our children from sexual predators?
27 people like this
24 responses
@DianneN (246643)
• United States
10 Feb 18
That pastor deserves to be in prison. What he did was very bad, and I'm sure he knew how wrong he was. I have two sons and was very protective of them. Adorable photo of your son and love his hair!!!!
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
He was in that church for 29 years - has he done it before and only now got caught?. Thank you. I remember it was a windy day when I snapped that picture - hence the extra height of his hair.
4 people like this
@DianneN (246643)
• United States
10 Feb 18
@Kandae11 He must have done it before. That wind sure made for an extra adorable photo!!!!
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@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
@DianneN Well, he is now paying a hefty price - he will be in his mid seventies or eighties when he gets out of there. Last week I was going through some old albums and managed to unearth quite a few photos.
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@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
10 Feb 18
I wish the photo was clearer but I know, it is a photo of a photo and they are never clear. I was also very protective. I remember my daughter coming home from school and when she told me that a man in a car had exposed himself and I went looking for him but never found him. No matter how protective we are, things can happen. In school the monks would often molest the students but at the time we never realized what was happening. As for this pastor, what he did is heinous to say the least and the law dealt with him and I would leave it at that. It goes to show that no one can be trusted.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (98796)
• India
10 Feb 18
@Kandae11 In our world, there are hardly any liberties that the court enjoys. There are predefined limits within which the court has to act, and the Parliament keeps the rights to come up with laws. It boils down to a male dominated society talking about justice.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
I think because he was in such a trusted position the judge is making an example of him. Yes, that picture was taken twenty-odd years ago - so it is a tad blurry.
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@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
@vandana7 I think it is up to the judge to decide if he will be lenient or not - some judges give lesser sentences for murder.
2 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
10 Feb 18
Things are going in a very wrong direction as far as kids protection is concerned! How can we ensure the security of our kid while sitting at our place? As far as the Pastor is concerned let the judge decide what treatment he should get as he is learned and professional in his own right! Thanks for initiating this thought provoking discussion dear @Kandae11 !
4 people like this
@AKRao24 (27424)
• India
10 Feb 18
I think such people are habitual criminals who enjoy the privilege of their rank in the socity dear @Kandae11 !
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98796)
• India
10 Feb 18
@Kandae11 Even the best of parent cannot always be around because more often than not, it is somebody the parents trust who turns out to be bad. I'd say lucky ones do not have such experiences, the unlucky ones are caught. Unlucky ones are usually the vulnerable ones; the ones who have no parents or one parent, or parents who are rather strict in the name of being "disciplinarians". Pedophiles have a great way of knowing which child is under stress from parental orders, and invariably take the child's side when parents are trying to scold, which makes the child start trusting his or her only ally. It is often too late when the child realizes that something is wrong. There are times the child may instinctively distrust the person but still go along as a way to show parent that he or she does not like him or her and then it becomes too late.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
Parents can do just so much and hope for the best. That pastor was serving in the church for 29 years - so I am now wondering if this is the first time he has done such a thing.
3 people like this
@mydanods (6513)
• Nigeria
11 Feb 18
Anyone who commits a crime deserves to be punished, whether a religious person, a politician or a billionaire. People this days bring disrepute to their calling by committing crimes and expecting people to just allow them go scot free because they are so and so.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6513)
• Nigeria
11 Feb 18
@Kandae11 The injustice of the justice system one might say.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
That is quite true. Those without money or position usually have it much harder.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111948)
• United States
10 Feb 18
In our days we did not have too much problem.Most of this happening now I am glad the my kids were not born in later years.they never had any problems and her friends and my friends. Most of this happening today.
2 people like this
@amadeo (111948)
• United States
10 Feb 18
@Kandae11 I am sure it has.Most of this been kept quiet in those days
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@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
Maybe more of it is only now coming to light - but it has been happening for centuries in various institutions.
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@JudyEv (325651)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Feb 18
He certainly abused his position and I guess the judge is bounded by certain laws he needs to follow.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
He did . And I understand some of his parishioners were devastated.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (325651)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Feb 18
@Kandae11 People put such faith in others at times. It's very sad all round.
@shaggin (71664)
• United States
11 Feb 18
People have told me a lot that I am over protective but I don't think you can ever be to careful when it comes to our kids! I do think the man should be punished harshly but I don't know about 30 years. Hopefully he will be an example to others not to do something like this ever!
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
We should look out for our kids - and those of others too.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
11 Feb 18
Your son is very cute I too was very protective of my children until they were in college , even then I would be constantly in touch with them..it takes just one ugly incident to ruin a young life . Thankfully in Mangalore where we live , we have not had a single rape case so far like in other major cities of India .But now with more software companies and other industries coming up here , there are a lot of outsiders and the locals fear that things might change. As far as the punishment is concerned , I feel that it may be too harsh . But again the court would have gone into all the details of the cases and know what they are doing .
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
Thank you. As you say - The judge probably has more information than we do.
@vandana7 (98796)
• India
10 Feb 18
Over the years, I have realized that when you group a set of criminals, they are going to share their skills and evolve better methods. Prison does that. In any event, you are punishing him in a way that people do not see him suffering. So the next pedophile is likely to take chances. After all, for every 1 that gets caught, there are more than 10 that get away with it. Punishments should be harsh (not within the purview of human rights because violating another person's human rights should be interpreted as willingness to surrender the human rights ...those rights are for humans not for those who keep their animal behaviors while claiming to be humans). As I said, they need to be punished in a way that everybody gets to see them, and shame them, and shame them regularly. Not merely some tasks to do in prison. That actually saves the guy some rent and gives him some employment too. Get him lynched, and then have his face and hands and legs filled with tattoos mentioning the nature of his crime...set him free. Let him go through what victims go through for the rest of their lives. That said, somewhere I read that some of these behaviors are ingrained as we were animals and the evolved ones have the better gene, while rest of us try to behave but can be criminals. I also need research on such people to evolve methods and medicines that can stop such behavior.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98796)
• India
11 Feb 18
@Kandae11 Yes. I do. :(
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
I see that your feelings are very strong about this.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (34729)
• Philippines
11 Feb 18
That is not right in the eyes of humans and in the eyes of the Lord.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
It is worse when the perpetrator is a pastor - and one who counsels persons as well.
@jstory07 (134426)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Feb 18
We should try our best to protect out children and all children. No child should be mistreated.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
The children are our future and should be protected.
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
11 Feb 18
Until Pretty was 15 she was not out of my sight unless she was with her mother. She didn't even sleep over at friend's houses until she was 17. (I threw parties and sleepovers for her friends often. But they always came to our house and spent their time, not the other way around.) I see nothing wrong with the sentence. The only improvement I would suggest is that he be castrated, as well.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
12 Feb 18
@Kandae11 That is very true, Kandase.
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
Some parents allow sleepovers for their kids as young as nine years old. You did the right thing - having the sleepovers at your house was best. As parents, all we can do is our best and hope for the best.
1 person likes this
11 Feb 18
If the allegations against that so-called pastor were true and factual backed by evidence, that animal should be locked up for good for violating a child! Yes, I am a Mrs Mama Bear, a fierce one, for my children!
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@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
I hope that sentence will make other like minded individuals think twice before perpetrating such an act.
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11 Feb 18
Is that moral or immoral? is 40 years deserving?
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@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
The judge thinks so. Maybe, the judge got wind that he has done it before but no one came forward to accuse him.
@popciclecold (35085)
• United States
10 Feb 18
I had three sons, and forty years ago, things were a lot different. I now worry about great grandchildren.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
10 Feb 18
Most of what went on was not reported.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
11 Feb 18
Pastors are supposed to be protectors. This pastor was just the opposite. Do you have any doubts that he should be pardoned? Today thanks to the Internet parents have no hold over their kids. Remember Blue Whale?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
I haven't seen Blue Whale. This pastor will not be pardoned - the most he will get is parole after he has served thirty years.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
11 Feb 18
I think he should be jailed, especially if this is not the first time he has done this. Even once is too much. I love that hair, oh my, now that is a head of hair lol
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
Yes, the sentence suits the crime. I had it cut when he was approaching seven - and strangers still kept asking me if he was a boy or a girl -his long eyelashes didn't help either.
@LeaPea2417 (36434)
• Toccoa, Georgia
11 Feb 18
He deserves the prison sentence. I was a very over protective parent.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
I was one of the over protective ones too - but after a period I had to let him spread his wings and hope that I had taught him well.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (57836)
• Centralia, Washington
11 Feb 18
There's a sadder, deeper story here. Lots of sad, quiet folks not telling their tales. He's not getting enough punishment.
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@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
That's what I am thinking - victims are usually hesitant to come forward - especially when the perpetrator is a man of the cloth.
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• Eugene, Oregon
11 Feb 18
He should serve 50 at least. He is no Christian and deserves no mercy.
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@Kandae11 (53679)
11 Feb 18
He has definitely disgraced his office.
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