Are Women Holding Back Our Female Politicians?
@DeborahDiane (40044)
Laguna Woods, California
February 11, 2018 11:35am CST
Yesterday, my husband and I spent the afternoon being filmed and having our photos taken with the woman we are supporting in her run for Congress this year. Clips from the filming and some of the photos will be used in her ads, beginning this spring. As part of the filming, we sat with her in a small group in a conference room and chatted for nearly two hours. It was very illuminating.
Apart from the the political discussion, there was one part of the discussion that really struck me and should bother all women, no matter which political party they belong to.
Katie Porter, the candidate we support, said that the ONLY sexist comments she had received have come from other women. She actually does better with men in her polls than she does with women, and she is working to change that.
She has had women walk right up to her and say things like:
"I don't think you can win because you are a woman."
"I think you should stay home with your children."
"I don't think a woman can handle both a job and a family."
It is important to note here that Katie Porter is already a working mother. She is a lawyer, a consumer advocate who has co-authored a book with Elizabeth Warren, and a law professor at the University of California at Irvine.
Yes, she has children and they often accompany her to campaign parties. When her five year-old interrupted her once while she was giving a talk, Katie very patiently answered her daughter's question, let her stand next to her, and then went on with her speech, while her two sons cheerfully scarfed up snacks at the back of the room.
After talking with her yesterday, I realized that we women may be the real reason we do not have more women in positions of authority. We may be holding back other women and keeping them from breaking through all kinds of glass ceilings.
We are letting our own insecurities hold us back. It is self-defeating behavior.
It is something I think all of us should think about long and hard, whether we are hiring someone, choosing someone to perform a business service for us, or voting. Are the decisions we are making sexist?
Are women the ones who are holding other women back?
10 people like this
9 responses
@moffittjc (118368)
• Gainesville, Florida
11 Feb 18
Wow, that definitely provides food for thought! I guess many women have stereotypical thoughts in their minds based on how they were raised or what they were exposed to growing up. I never really thought about the possibility that women could be holding back other women from succeeding in politics!
5 people like this
@moffittjc (118368)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Feb 18
@DeborahDiane We all need to learn to be more open-minded about a lot of things in life. Sometimes it's hard, but we have to make a conscious effort to help our children overcome whatever barriers they face in life as they mature and become adults.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@moffittjc - I agree. I feel that at this stage of my life, the most important thing I can do is to make the future easier for my children and grandchildren of both genders ... although sometimes it feels as if we have a long way to go.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@moffittjc - Yes, it surprised me, too. I guess I had never thought about it before. I raised four daughters who are all college graduates and have successful careers, despite being mothers. One has put her career aside for a few years to raise her pre-schoolers, but plans to go back to work once they are all in school. It never occurred to me that the people who would give our daughters the greatest resistance in pursuing their careers could be other women! It gave me a lot of food for thought, too, and made me want to begin doing what I can to counter this way of thinking.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@JudyEv - I agree that jealousy could be one reason why we hold each other back. We need to judge people by their ability and not by their gender ... and we have a long way to go before that happens.
2 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
12 Feb 18
I think other women can get jealous and envious of women that have been able to achieve what they have achieved.
Those kind of women can hold another woman back I think yes.
I got to be really good in a job and I was getting snide remarks from other girls that I should not be working there and I did not deserve to get ahead all in that kind of line.
What a pity it is like that.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
13 Feb 18
@DeborahDiane
I know a few that run each other down and its hurtful for me to know that the one they talk about and are jealous of is because she had the good sense to decorate her house with taste and style and I say great for her without a trace of envy in me.
She does not deserve to be treated like that by them.
She lives very near to France so they call her the French Woman which is silly because she has nothing to do with France at all its because she lives near the border of it.
Hendaya and St. Jean de Luz are the nearest to where she really lives.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Feb 18
@lovinangelsinstead21 - I agree that it is hurtful when women run each other down. They should build each other up, instead.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Feb 18
I agree that it is a pity that women can treat each other that way. I hope women start looking into their hearts and realize the harm they are doing to each other, as well as to themselves.
1 person likes this
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32507)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Feb 18
Women hates women. In talent shows where the audience votes, The women and girls votes for men most of the time.
Also in a reality show competition, I remember female audiences are more forgiving of male contestants.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 Feb 18
@CaptAlbertWhisker - That is interesting that women even favor men in areas such as talent shows and reality shows. I think women need to look deep in our hearts and try to treat both genders fairly.
1 person likes this
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32507)
• Calgary, Alberta
12 Feb 18
@DeborahDiane Less women also charts on billboard these days. Majority of people who buys music are women and girls but they prefer buying albums of male acts. Majority of movie goers are females yet they prefer supporting guys too. It is like they dont want to see other women succeed.
In the office where I use to work, Guys gets along well while the women stabs each others back.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@CaptAlbertWhisker - I have noticed the same things you have. Women just do not support or encourage each other, which holds all of them back. Sometimes, they criticize women for things they would never say about men. I heard a woman say once that she thought the mayor of her city was incompetent because her hair often looked messy when she was outdoors giving press conferences. Really? That completely shocked me. I can understand criticizing policies or decisions, but a hairstyle? Unbelievable.
@LadyDuck (457539)
• Switzerland
11 Feb 18
@DeborahDiane Young women now understand that there is more than their house and the kids to take care of. It will take a lot of time before equality will be real.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@LadyDuck - Yes, I am afraid you are right. We have made a lot of progress in the past 100 years, but we still have a long way to go!
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 Feb 18
@LadyDuck - I hope that women begin to see things differently. I know that younger women are taking on important careers and becoming doctors, for example, in record numbers. It is awful that we then make women feel bad about being successful.
3 people like this
@indexer (4852)
• Leicester, England
12 Feb 18
It is almost exactly 100 years since women were given the vote in the UK - with restrictions, it was not until 1928 that they were treated exactly the same as men. At present something like one third of Members of Parliament are women. It has been a long struggle, but equality is on its way. It is therefore not encouraging to hear the remarks that you have reported.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@indexer - Other countries, including Great Britain, are ahead of the United States with regard to equal rights between men and women. Perhaps because you have long had a Queen in a position of authority? I'm not sure, but it is frustrating to hear that all women do not even seem to think we have the right to be treated equally and fairly.
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@jstory07 - I agree that some women seem to be against other women instead of being behind them. It is sad.
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
12 Feb 18
How unfortunate that it is women behind those remarks.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@JamesHxstatic - I agree. I do not feel that women should automatically vote for women candidates, regardless of their political views. But I do think women should treat both men and women fairly and use the same criteria in evaluating them. It shocks me that there are still women around who do not do this.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40044)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Feb 18
@DianneN - You are right that educated, enlightened women are not as affected by this kind of prejudice and jealousy from other women. Our daughters have done well despite these old-fashioned attitudes. Obviously, Katie Porter, the candidate who told us this, has had a very successful career despite encountering this attitude by some women. However, it saddens me that there are still women in this country who treat women politicians and leaders differently than male ones. They should evaluate them using the same criteria, yet many women still do not do that.
1 person likes this
