Self esteem and self confidence issues

By Vin
Philippines
February 12, 2018 3:02am CST
The statement below reminded me of some other things. I am reaching age of 30 and I sometimes feel like I havent achieved anything. The thing is no matter how hard you try, its not gonna be perfect. Thats what I learn in my 20s. You did well, and you tried your best and that should count for something. Give yourself more credit. Its gonna get better. Have you experience a similar feeling in the past? What did you do to remedy these kinds of feeling? You did well – even when you think it is not enough. Even when others think it’s not enough. You tried, and that should count for something. Do not belittle yourself.
7 people like this
8 responses
@josie_ (7410)
• Philippines
12 Feb
Self-esteem can be acquired. One of the more popular theory is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. We become more confident in our abilities as we succeed in providing for our needs. At the lowest level that would be food, shelter, clothing and security. With each step up the ladder of success our self-esteem grows.
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Feb
What is the meaning of security?
2 people like this
@josie_ (7410)
• Philippines
12 Feb
@jvincent_129 _Financially assured. No need to worry about money.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb
@josie_ thats the thing i dont have.
3 people like this
12 Feb
Self-esteem and self-confidence are two different ideas. You may lack self-esteem but have self-confidence in your driving, or your job or a number of things. The reverse is also possible where that you have self-esteem but lack confidence in some areas because you lack experience in these areas. You can improve both. Self-esteem relates more to what our overall thoughts are of ourselves ... do we love ourselves and find ourselves worthy of the love from others. Self-confidence relates to our positive approach to tasks, such as jobs, activities, challenges; both physical and mental. Let's say in your example of doing well but others think it is not enough ... let's put a real life event to that and say you took a course in world history but your final grade was just average and others in your class did better and therefore think you didn't do enough. Self-confidence would relate to the actual performance and grade. Your confidence level may be higher than it was when you started the class because you learned more than you knew before and you also learned better as the class went on, how you could have scored a higher grade if you choose to take another class. Self-confidence wouldn't let other people;s thoughts of not enough, deter you from taking on the next challenge. Self-esteem is not as easily measured in a tangible way. Low self-esteem may have played a role in lowering your overall confidence to perform and has now been reinforced by your average performance. Low self-esteem is what is likely to bring about every possible reason as to why you shouldn't and won't do well in this class or any other that you might want to take in the future. A healthy self-esteem would recognize the good of completing the class, regardless of the final grade or thoughts of others. A healthy self-esteem recognizes your own self-confidence to almost convince you before you opened the first text book, that you could handle this work and even if you fell short a bit by what the grade indicated, that healthy self-esteem would not allow that to stand in the way of taking on another challenge. It would almost welcome another challenge. Self-esteem and self-confidence can be positively or negatively impacted by each other and recognizing where each stands within yourself helps the influence to be a positive one.
2 people like this
@josie_ (7410)
• Philippines
12 Feb
@AJRementer _ People with high self-esteem rarely get stymied by a (temporary) lack of self-confidence. they know that confidence is built on knowledge and go above acquiring the necessary skills or information. But they are also realistic about the limitations on what they can or cannot do base on their physical attributes and mental capacity. They simply move on to other endeavor with no loss to their emotional well being. This cannot be said about people with low self-esteem and building confidence in any new activity would be much harder for them. It's a catch-22 situation because of the inter-dependency of both conditions. Low self-esteem fuel lack of confidence which in turn provide proof that one's low opinion of the self is clearly evident.
• Philippines
12 Feb
@josie_ I gotta build esteem, its most effective for me when people remind me how good I am. I am not good at reminding myself that I am good at this.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (51694)
• Philippines
12 Feb
As I grow older I have become wiser and learned from my past mistakes. I developed self-esteem from my own personal experiences and success. And I don't care much about what others say.
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Feb
thank you for the advise. And that partly for me is what I follow for myself. But it is hard to be consistent. I got to have that mindset always.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb
just do what you can if you believe you already did youre best. dont mind what others people say,
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb
Yeah. I'll keep myself reminded of that everyday. Because I am fragile and I get affected easily.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb
@jvincent_129 i'm the same but i'm numb now because its going on and on they keep on coming and unfortunately its a lot of them
• Philippines
12 Feb
@Strawberry18 its hard isnt it? we got to help each other. You are right where you are in this life.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6752)
• Nigeria
12 Feb
Life is not fair. That's the first lesson you learn in life101. The second is don't give up in doing your best. Opportunity knocks at the doors of those who do not give up.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb
ok Ill never give up. I gotta keep pushing.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6752)
• Nigeria
12 Feb
@jvincent_129 That's the spirit.
• Philippines
12 Feb
@mydanods thats what it is gotta keep pushing. Even when they fail gotta keep pushing.
1 person likes this
@cttolledo (4918)
• Philippines
12 Feb
Just keep on trying to achieve your dreams.
• Philippines
13 Feb
1 person likes this
@Keyia120 (710)
• United States
12 Feb
Many of us will feel like this because you want to do more and didn't or you just feel like you could have done more in your 20s. I am 28 and a stay at home mom that writes and does legal work from home sometimes. I am so trying to excel this year because I feel the same way especially being a mom. I want my own career like everyone else or just to accomplish something that I have yet to do. I mean we can only do what we can and move on. I am becoming content with that myself but I still have the feeling that once I am older I would have done nothing. We always seem to want to accomplish something and that is okay. Remember that we can only do so much and then we can't belittle ourselves because we couldn't do more. Sometimes life is what we make it and other times it can turn us in a certain direction to where we can't do what we are setting out to do. I always say what I am doing must be within God's plan and then he will give me more to do later. Good luck and don't get yourself down. Trying is what we do and all we can do at times and that is okay.
• Philippines
13 Feb
My problem is my mindset. I have to motivate myself to just do my best. Keep reminding myself that its okay and I'll get through those challenges. Some days I feel unstable and some days I feel good about myself. I have to think positively and keep being positive with consistency.
@miketagz (7494)
• Philippines
12 Feb
You're not alone, few people may experience lack of self esteem because of depression, jealousy, envy, someone who became rich and other kinds of sad temptation. Can't depend on money alone, naturally in modern period, you need money to buy for food, drink, pay monthly dues, bills and other expenses to deal with. Life is tough but need to do something to live longer. Don't give up until the end.
• Philippines
12 Feb
Right now I just keep on fighting. Thats life you gotta fight and hustle to make a living. Its hard but you are gonna be okay.
1 person likes this