Coping on your own
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (325759)
Rockingham, Australia
February 12, 2018 6:56am CST
Andria Perry (@andriaperry) wrote a post asking whether women drivers do any of their own small car repairs like maybe checking the air pressures in the tyres, changing a windscreen wiper blade or even changing a tyre. You can catch up here: http://www.mylot.com/post/3154181/damsel-in-distress.
My husband mostly takes care of anything to do with our vehicles but more and more I’ve been thinking I should be trying to do these myself.
My reasoning is that, if he should die before I do, the more self-sufficient I am the better off I’ll be. We have already ensured that I’ll be able to access our bank account. If an account hasn’t been set up in the correct way, it may be frozen for quite some time after a person’s death, perhaps leaving their partner short of funds.
The other thing I need to do is make sure he knows how to use the washing machine, vacuum cleaner, etc in case I die first and he has to cope without me. I’m not having much luck with these things yet. 
I was searching for a relevant photo but this caught my eye. It isn't relevant at all but any time spent around a campfire is very special.
I was searching for a relevant photo but this caught my eye. It isn't relevant at all but any time spent around a campfire is very special.23 people like this
25 responses
@DianneN (246789)
• United States
12 Feb 18
My husband is extremely self sufficient around the house. In a pinch I can do almost anything. Neither of us are car savvy, but our dealerships and auto services take care of that. I should leave him my myLot account so he can advise you of my demise, but he already told me he won't bother. That's why I stop by to let you know I'm still alive.
4 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
12 Feb 18
Being a female, my Dad taught me how to do car repairs, build a house, grow food, etc @JudyEv . What amazes me today is that a lot of MEN can't even change a tire. Seriously?
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Feb 18
@JudyEv OMG, now that is just crazy.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
@nanette64 You'd think he'd have more pride than to get someone in to do that.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
There are also plenty of men who can't do the most basic of household maintenance chores either. The headmaster at the school where Vince worked would get one of the workmen out to his house to change a light globe! I couldn't believe when he told me.
2 people like this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
12 Feb 18
I don't own a car or know how to drive but I at least know how to change a tire. I guess if I ever did learn how to drive I would like to learn more about taking care of it because cars are a handful, even more so than a pet.
2 people like this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
12 Feb 18
@Marty1 I learned from my dad and watch him how to do it haha I also know how to fix a headlight. If a car were to break down in the middle of nowhere and AAA would take like 2 hours to get to me, yeah I rather not wait.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
I think if you are able to do even the small things, you also save a lot of money. Nothing comes cheaply these days.
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
13 Feb 18
@Marty1 I learned to always take care of things myself because relying on services is so bad, that isn't have survival works haha
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
We rely on each other so much, especially now that we are getting older. Trying to remember appointments, etc - it seems to take two of us. I'm sure sometimes it is very difficult if you are on your own, particularly if you get sick. I'm not sure how brave I'd be on my own but you don't have any option if you lose your partner.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
12 Feb 18
My boyfriend does all my car repairs for me. I buy all the parts and he does the repairs. I do check all my fluids though make sure their up to date and I know how to fill my washer fluid etc. I pump my own gas and wash my own vehicle. The mechanic work though I don't know how but I am learning.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
13 Feb 18
@JudyEv Yes that is true. I obviously go to a dealer when I need an inspection or something that my boyfriend can not fix on his own which isn't that often.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Feb 18
Having spent many nights around a campfire, I really love this photo! I'm pretty sure you can build a fire, right Judy? If so, you'll do well at most other things in life. I think you will be able to cope quite well.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Feb 18
@JudyEv You just keep right on training Vince...maybe someday he'll learn to do some housework! haha
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Feb 18
@moffittjc I do dream about that day.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
12 Feb 18
Thank you for the vote of confidence! That was a wonderful trip. I must write about it one day.
I can build a fire and often light the tile fire but it's never done the way Vince would do it - so I just do it when he's otherwise occupied.
I think the main problem is that he is almost too caring and jumps in to do things for me. It's a nice problem to have really. 
If I let him, I'd hardly need to do anything although he's not strong on housework (cleaning). He just never thinks about it.
I think the main problem is that he is almost too caring and jumps in to do things for me. It's a nice problem to have really. If I let him, I'd hardly need to do anything although he's not strong on housework (cleaning). He just never thinks about it.1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
13 Feb 18
We have the money matters straight and have signed advance directives about resuscitation too.
We are both pretty good with stuff around the house. It has been so long since I changed a tire, I would not know where to put a jack. I pay for AAA Plus, good all over the country for tire changes and/or towing though, so I don't think about it much. I could always read the manual if I had to change a tire, I guess.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
Well, you've thought about it and have made your choices so that's all good. We are with an AAA equivalent but sometimes they take ages to come blah blah. I remember as a child you didn't go for a drive without expecting a flat tyre or a breakdown of some sort. You had inner tubed tyres and had to mend punctures with a little patch.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
13 Feb 18
@JudyEv I remember that well and with bikes too.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Feb 18
@JamesHxstatic So you are quite old then! 
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
13 Feb 18
After my first divorce I became quite independent and didn't want anyone else doing for me, it was good to learn how to work on my house, car, yard etc and now I don't worry about losing my present husband should something happen. I do however worry about him if anything happened to me first.
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
12 Feb 18
Ha the pic looks great and could well be a summer campfire pic in Ontario as well except for the different trees. I get your reasoning with all that as I am also doing that here with my husband- especially the stove---ha!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Feb 18
@MarymargII I might need to add more vegies. And dark chocolate is good for energy I'm told. 
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
25 Feb 18
@JudyEv That stodge is sounding better by the day!
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
13 Feb 18
@JudyEv Ha! the stodge also makes you very intuitive so you may just be able to figure everything out on your own. You may feel a little sluggish though and have no energy---
1 person likes this
I am thinking of doing that too, learning how to cope with the car and its problems by myself, but so far, I only read books and watched youtube clips 
@BearArtistLady (5382)
• United States
13 Feb 18
I learned a long time ago to do so much of the repair work for myself, whether its automotive or household. When I moved in with my mom many years ago I took over doing all the repair work. Its pretty unusual for a lady to be able to do the kind of stuff I could do, right down to mixing a cement patio where we put my father's cremains. The people in the HOA are in awe at what I tackle and accomplish. Right down to doing the lube jobs and oil changes. I have that knowledge for when my boyfriend passed away. Until then I don't have to worry about doing those things as either we get the car worked on in town or the neighbors help out with the maintenance.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Feb 18
I love being able to do things myself and not to have to call on others. Having a very handy husband means I mostly just help him but I'm not afraid to tackle things on my own. I admire you for being so good with your hands. You would saving yourself a small fortune.
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
15 Feb 18
@BearArtistLady We have an extension bar on the wrench when we have to take the lug nuts off the tyres on our motor-home which is a converted bus. If we let the tyre come off and fall flat the two of us are battling to stand it up again.
@BearArtistLady (5382)
• United States
14 Feb 18
@JudyEv I went back and read your initial post. You got everything figured except for changing your tires. That job is a pizzer! The lug nuts are tight to start with because the tire shops put them on with air wrenches. You try to change a tire and you'll end up on one of those funniest home video shows! Starting with your jumping up and down on a tight lug wrench going through to when you "finally" get the spare on and are trying to get the darned wrench back off the lug nuts! I had some ole guy laughing like a hyena the first time I changed my tire...I was only a teenager. That day I joined the auto club!!!!
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169956)
• United States
12 Feb 18
My son is pretty good with cars so anything that I couldn't do I could probably get him to do.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
12 Feb 18
Our boys are out of reach for any practical purposes. Of course, we'd all get by somehow but I don't like asking for help if I can do something myself.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
13 Feb 18
Que sera sera
Having said that everything shall fall in place. Necessity is the mother of invention.
April 3, 2017 - HAPPY 95th Birthday Dear Doris!! When the ultra-talented actress/singer Doris Day first recorded the song "Que Sera, Sera - Whatever Will Be,...
1 person likes this
@hostessman (11871)
• Tucson, Arizona
13 Feb 18
i can do any chorei n the house but my wife only knows how to drive the car
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
12 Feb 18
After reading your excellent post, I called our credit union to be sure if one of us passed away, the other one would still have access to our checking and savings accounts. Thankfully we do.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
13 Feb 18
Thanks for the mention, LOL. I think I could build a house if need be and still get sexy and fry up the bacon.
and still get sexy and fry up the bacon.1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325759)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 18
I have no doubt at all that you could all these things while running up a dress on the machine ready for the house-warming party.
