what she ate next

February 26, 2018 1:20am CST
Nothing. But we'll come back to that. It's going to be/feel frightfully cold! they said. I'm now sitting on the bus sweating like a young nun who inadvertently found herself at a Chippendales show. Well, it's definitely going to snow! they said. The clouds in the blue sky above me are slightly pinky-orange as they welcome the sun. Oh well. Maybe later. So, what did she eat next? Did she even eat anything at all? All she ate for the entire day was half a parsnip, a bite of a Yorkshire pudding, a mini Lindt egg and her prescription shake. When I was with her all day on Friday she had nothing but a cup of soup. It's my Mother-in-Law's birthday tomorrow and we celebrated yesterday. She was the damp squib at her own 'party'. I don't do ill, said the sixty-nine year old who's been on thyroid medication since her thirties. Why am I so cold? asks the woman who is currently nothing but a skeleton covered in a layer of pale skin. We have told her that she will end up in Hospital. I have raised concerns with my SiL about Niece spending entire Wednesday's alone with her. SiL informs me that she and BiL have arguments every Tuesday night about it. So, if MiL collapses or faints whilst caring for a recently turned three year old, on his head be it. We know she's going to the Heart & Lung Hospital tomorrow to see her cancer nurse, so Husband has emailed all our concerns to her; we don't believe MiL tells her nurse the truth. I honestly think she has very little time left, and there's a part of me that will be relieved. I realise that this sounds incredibly selfish and horrid, but we do everything we can to put a positive spin on things, perk her up, make her comfortable ... and she just drags us all down. It's exhausting. It's this little part of me which thinks she's an attention-seeking narcissist. I am a bad person for thinking such things. *sigh*
9 people like this
10 responses
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
26 Feb 18
You are not selfish knowing you will be relieved the day she goes. This woman is selfish and it seems she takes a pleasure complaining. She surely does not eat because she want to be a skeleton and look sick hoping to receive sympathy from others. After a certain time, you have no more sympathy for those kind of people, you are only extremely annoyed, I know.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
27 Feb 18
@Poppylicious I understand that your husband loves her because she is his mum, but I am sure that he suspects how she really is.
2 people like this
27 Feb 18
@LadyDuck He knows. It winds him up!
2 people like this
27 Feb 18
I feel mean because of course Husband loves her and she's his mum and all that jazz, but sometimes I think I'm the only person who can see what she's like as I'm with her all day on a Friday. It's impossible for her to keep up an act for an entire day!
3 people like this
• Preston, England
27 Feb 18
nothing wrong with having such conflicting thoughts - it is a terrible situation for all of you. - if her time is close I hope things go as painlessly as possible - wish there was something more poitive I could write
2 people like this
• Preston, England
28 Feb 18
@Poppylicious yes, it won't be easy for any of you until the end sadly
1 person likes this
28 Feb 18
If it isn't close it's going to be a miserable sh!tty year!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64363)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 18
You are are right to be very concerned for your niece and that is understandable - your MIL doesn't sound the ideal person to look after her, even if she weren't ill.
2 people like this
27 Feb 18
Funnily enough, I did tell Husband years ago that I would never let her look after ours. Then we didnt have any. We're keen to remind her how she used to moan about SiL's dad having her for an hour a week when his cancer was at its worse!
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (72494)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Feb 18
From what you are saying it will actually be a great blessing to her to finally be relieved of her wordly suffering and a blessing to you all to not have to constantly worry about her. I know that when my mother-in-law was in the hospital on her last leg of the journey also due to cancer I heard her say from her bed - I am dying, what shall I do? I don't even know if she thought anyone was listening but I heard and at the moment I said The Lord's Prayer and early the next morning He took her home. We were all sad but relieved that her suffering was over. My prayers to you all.
2 people like this
27 Feb 18
Thank you.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (12536)
• Ireland
26 Feb 18
@poppylicious The generous application of truth is at times a good remedy for some ailments but it’s hard to apply and often results in rejection similar to that suffered by a transplanted organ and causes great distress all around. To be applied with care.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (12536)
• Ireland
27 Feb 18
@Poppylicious Thos allergic reactions can be quite violent.
2 people like this
27 Feb 18
We are hoping that her nurse can apply it with care, as that's her job. Emails flew back and forth between Husband and Nursey yesterday so she now knows the truth. We expect rejection coupled with vitriol later!
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20272)
28 Feb 18
Glad to know that you are human just like us here. I like your writing style! Thought I was reading a novel.
1 person likes this
28 Feb 18
Thank you, petal.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20272)
28 Feb 18
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (133754)
• Roseburg, Oregon
26 Feb 18
No you can think anyway that you want to.
1 person likes this
27 Feb 18
I try to only think that way on myLot and in my head!
@Fleura (28940)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 18
That sounds like a bad situation all round. Maybe she doesn't eat because she's lost her appetite? Just trying to see the best in people I know... either way she doesn't sound really able to cope with caring for a young child. I hope the situation gets resolved soon.
@Morleyhunt (21585)
• Canada
26 Feb 18
I wouldn't call it selfish. I would also be condemning myself.... My father passed away a mere month ago....the last six months had hellish moments (days). Everyone tells me how sorry they are...I feel guilty about the enormous relief I feel. He is no longer suffering....a huge burden was taken off my shoulders.
1 person likes this
27 Feb 18
Sorry to hear about your dad. It's really horrid to watch people suffer and know that there isn't anything you - personally - can do to ease their pain and suffering.
1 person likes this
@MaciMaci (300)
• France
26 Feb 18
I completely understand what you're going through and the thing is, you cannont change another person's mood unless they're willing to change it. So don't let that drag you down, keep being perky and positive because well... If you don't keep yourself happy, nobody else will lol (I say lol because it's the sad truth). Courage to you my dear and don't blame yourself for having negative thoughts, it would be strange if you didn't have any...
1 person likes this
27 Feb 18
It's a bit ironic, isnt It! I'm grumbling about her being so negative and I'm indulging in the exact same thing!