Were you/are you popular at school?

@sprite1950 (14498)
Corsham, England
March 4, 2018 1:12am CST
I was not popular, in fact I was a little on the geeky side and laughed at by my peers. It was fine while I was in primary education but I was quite unhappy when I reached secondary school. Despite being bullied I did reasonably well but I sometimes wonder if I would have done better had I been happier and not dreaded going in sometimes. When I left school I learned how to make myself more attractive although looking back I wasn't that bad, the other kids just made me feel that way. I'm sure that many of you can identify with this but it must be wonderful to be popular during the school days. How was it/is it for you?
28 people like this
31 responses
@Daljinder (22072)
• India
4 Mar
We did not have the notion who was popular who wasn't. Neither we had this thing called bullying. But from what I understand "being popular" or not constitute....... in my time, a "popular" student / group was either a studious one (which was good popular) or a rowdy / characterless one (which was bad popular). No, I am not being judgemental one. Just putting it into my country's context / terms. I belonged to the studious one so I guess I was popular. Although, I didn't feel or see what privilege that gave us as compared to those who were not "popular". We didn't even act any different. We were just kids attending school and doing what we were supposed to be doing which was study or any other extra curricular activities we had in our calendar. Unless you consider the "bad popular" ones. Some admired them. Some despised them. Largely students tended to avoid them in fear their name will get tainted as well.
7 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Daljinder You are absolutely right and I think these groups exist in most schools and colleges. I was in neither but had a couple of friends who I got along with.
5 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
6 Mar
Oh, goodness, DJ! Who got your panties in a wad? I haven't see you as a devil in quite some time! Is there anything I can do to help or should I find @vandana7 and ask her, instead?
5 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@DaddyEvil That made me laugh. I've never heard that expression before.
5 people like this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
4 Mar
I was always the bookworm. So for those who were serious about their books, I was popular although that crowd was small. But for other things, I wasn't popular. My friends were one or two persons.
6 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@mydanods Yeah the popular gang at my school were not really into schoolwork but mainly having fun.
3 people like this
@bagarad (12653)
• Paso Robles, California
4 Mar
You sound a lot like me.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (40090)
4 Mar
There is nothing wrong with one or two persons Nnaemeka.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
4 Mar
Like you, I was on the geeky side in school. I was moderately popular with the people who needed and ask for my help with things since I was always willing to go above and beyond what was needed. I still am considered to be on the geeky side, even at my job now. That is one reason I was hired and am still working there. I hadn't realized you were back. I am glad I stopped by tonight and found your response on a different discussion. How have you been lately? Anything new and interesting to talk about?
5 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@DaddyEvil Hey Daddy, yes I've been back for a week and still enjoying it but you know it doesn't last long with me . I can't believe you were geeky and I'm sure all the ladies chased after you! Life seems to be ticking along nicely at the moment although we've had a really cold winter with snow this year which is pretty unusual for my part of the country. Roll on the spring!
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
6 Mar
@sprite1950 Yes, Sprite, I know you never stick around for long, but that is okay, as long as you come back once in a while or email me so I know you are still alive and doing well! Hmmm... it is interesting that your winter was colder and wetter than normal. Our winter was cold, but hasn't been cold as long as normal, nor did we endure as much snow as we have always gotten before. We had more rain than anything else this year. I'm still ready for Spring to head our way!
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@DaddyEvil It's mild and drizzly here now. Actually Daddy I have been here almost 2 weeks and I am not fed up yet. . Now normally I would be at the yawning stage so I think I might just last a little longer this time. Make me a bet on how long you think I'll last and I will rise to the challenge. Make it realistic though
1 person likes this
• Northampton, England
4 Mar
I think we are either the oppressed or oppressor at scholl
4 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@thedevilinme Yes, sad that we can't all be equal. Life would be much easier.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (70924)
• Pleasant Hill, California
9 Mar
Nah, I was neither.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
9 Mar
@TheHorse I was slightly oppressed but I'm glad I was never a bully.
@Kandae11 (40289)
4 Mar
I didn't care about being popular at school - my two sisters were my friends.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Kandae11 Nice that you had your sisters.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
6 Mar
Did you feel lonely, though, Kandase? I think I would have if I had just had my family at school.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@DaddyEvil I remember we had twins in my class at school and they didn't mix much with other kids so maybe some people don't need too much company.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (40090)
4 Mar
I was not popular at school but had friends. I was fat off and on so people were unkind to me.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Hannihar I'm so sorry to hear that. Kids can be cruel. I wore glasses so people called me 4 eyes. Glasses weren't as nice as they are now.
4 people like this
@Hannihar (40090)
7 Mar
@sprite1950 Snowdrop66 being called 4 eyes is not good either. Kids can be cruel.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@Hannihar Yes, it made me feel quite unhappy and there were days I really didn't want to go.
2 people like this
@Raj7779 (2922)
• Ahmednagar, India
4 Mar
Yes I was popular in my school life but not in whole school only in my classroombecause I was very famous among girls
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
Haha! Lucky you. I was not popular with the boys until I left school.
2 people like this
@Raj7779 (2922)
• Ahmednagar, India
4 Mar
@sprite1950 that's not problem.I think you was popular among boys in college?
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Raj7779 I wouldn't say I was really popular at college but the bullying stopped and some of the boys liked me
2 people like this
@sol_cee (16877)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
6 Mar
How I hate bullies. They never cease to exist. :(
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@sol_cee It doesn't matter where you go they are always around. I wouldn't tolerate it now though as I did when I was young.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (66836)
• India
11 Mar
@sprite1950 ..True...but it does hurt! And I was 37 or so. And that is bullying. Insensitivity of others needs a rude awakening too.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
11 Mar
@vandana7 Yes who ever said sticks and stones etc. had no idea what they were talking about as words can be very hurtful.
1 person likes this
@just4him (124041)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Mar
I was not popular, or even part of the 'in' crowd. I didn't mind it. I was me. I still am me.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@just4him it's nice to be an individual
2 people like this
@just4him (124041)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Mar
@sprite1950 Yes, it is. Much better.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (70924)
• Pleasant Hill, California
9 Mar
Being satisfied with oneself is what matters.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12653)
• Paso Robles, California
4 Mar
It depends on how you define popular. I was miserable in junior high because I had only one close friend. The boys teased me a lot in sometimes cruel ways, though they did not pick on me physically. In high school I found a few friends with similar "brainy" interests. The words 'geek" and "nerd" weren't in use yet, but we would have been considered as such. We liked to read and discuss books. We liked to have conversations about ideas. Almost all my friends at my high school were male because the guys were the most interesting to talk to. Only one of them was popular, and that's because he played varsity football. He was a friend, but he wasn't part of our crowd. He was part of the popular crowd. Although it hurt sometimes in high school to know I wasn't part of the "in" group, I did have individual friends who were part of it. I also had a few close friends at church who also weren't part of the clique that seemed to rule the group there. As I look back, I understand why I wasn't part of those groups. I wasn't willing to give up my individuality and conform to be like them. I'm glad I didn't. I'm still married after over fifty years. Most of them aren't. Those who were my close friends have also had long marriages and led happy lives. From my perspective now, I realize those in the cliques needed them to feel secure. I didn't. Although I was friendly and liked people, I also liked privacy in my personal life. I didn't want to have to share every detail of my life with eight other girls. Nor did I want to participate in their gossip sessions. My close friends didn't gossip. We tried to help each other solve problems when we had them, but we found no joy in teasing others or gossiping about them. I think if one feels secure, one doesn't need the security blanket of a group of "being popular."
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@bagarad That's a really interesting post and in some respects it reminds me of my own college days. By the time I got there I realised how important it is to be an individual and not follow the crowd. My daughter said she was also part of the popular crowd but always on the edge of it and often laughed at. I remember finding a book of spells where she had earmarked the page 'How to be popular'. It was obviously important to her at the time but she has an amazing life now, happy with her fiancee and working in a good well paid job.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12653)
• Paso Robles, California
5 Mar
@sprite1950 It's easy to be insecure when growing up and wanting to be accepted by the people who seem to be popular. I'm glad your daughter is living a happy life.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@bagarad Me too. It's all we ever want for our kids.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (70924)
• Pleasant Hill, California
7 Mar
I was neither ultra-cool nor bullied. We had a block full of kids, and most of my friends lived close to me.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@TheHorse I think being bullied can give you confidence issues for a long time. You sound very confident so I'm guessing your childhood was happy.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (66836)
• India
11 Mar
I can't believe you were not bullied...folks like me may not have been around in your school...if I was, you would never have gotten to eat your lunch box.
1 person likes this
@TheSojourner (17306)
• United States
6 Mar
I was not popular. I was a year to a 18 months younger than most. I was a gawky, nerdy kid who liked to read the dictionary. I felt very much like Elphaba (from Wicked)....
Pro shot. Idina Menzel & Kristen Chenowith. Priceless.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@CoralLevang I liked reading the dictionary! Even now I'm very pedantic about my own spelling and hate it if I notice I've made a mistake. Love the vid.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Mar
@sprite1950 I was taught to spell the word, "antidisestablishmentarianism" when I was four, and made to recite it on command. LOL I did it to please my father. I go back to fix anything that I catch that is wrong, whenever I am able.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
6 Mar
The dictionary? I would have guessed the encyclopedia, Coral, not the dictionary... (grinning at you!)
2 people like this
@shaggin (37313)
• United States
6 Mar
I was picked on a lot but I irritated people on purpose so a lot of it was my fault. I have more wrinkles now but I'm prettier now then I was in school since my face lost the baby fat.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@shaggin I remember someone telling me I was irritating. I was quite hurt by it. I probably was though especially in my early teens.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (25738)
• Aurora, Missouri
6 Mar
Since when do you have wrinkles, Shaggin? You sure didn't in the photo I remember from @CoralLevang's discussion! Who are you trying to fool? (smiling at you)
2 people like this
@shaggin (37313)
• United States
6 Mar
@DaddyEvil I have creases on my forehead but makeup when applied fresh covers it. But then the longer the day goes the more the makeup seems to accentuate the wrinkles and make them stand out. I need putty to fill in my wrinkles lol I probably notice it more then others do but I'm young to have them in my forehead as much as I do. I found two photos on Instagram from the past year where you can see them a bit. I'll email them to you later.
1 person likes this
@anikoonline (3208)
• Hungary
4 Mar
I can identify with your story. I was unpopular, too.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@anikoonline I had one good friend who made me feel better but I hated it on the days she was absent as I felt so alone.
2 people like this
• Hungary
4 Mar
@sprite1950 I also had a very good friend, but she went to another school when we were 16 years old. Then I had two years without her.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@anikoonline It's a horrible feeling to be alone especially in a place like school. We all seem to survive it though.
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6684)
• Oxford, England
6 Mar
I don't think I was ever popular at school although I did have a circle of friends. In my junior school, I was certainly bullied. By the time I got my senior school, I wasn't really going at all of the first few years.and IEused to bunk off so much that some teachers didn't even know existed. However, I have a degree, a PGCE and an MA diploma to my name and various other qualifications and I've written books. I was also a bit geeky. However, it never occurred to me that I actually looked quite good and that might have been a source of jealousy!
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@Jackalyn You know I think that is often the case especially with girls. I have a friend whose child was bullied all through her upper school years but she was such a beautiful girl with a stunning figure. Her school years were a misery but now she has left she has a good job and is going places. Kids will be cruel for many different reasons.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6684)
• Oxford, England
6 Mar
@sprite1950 I forgot to say that I was also chronically shy and that really did hold me back a lot.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@Jackalyn My sister was very shy and didn't have many friends so it probably does hold you back a bit.
1 person likes this
@Icydoll (23472)
• India
4 Mar
Yes I'm quite popular for being a silent student ..but I'm not silent at all..the ones who are close to me only knows it hehe..yeah I'm good at studies too.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Icydoll That's nice, popular and clever!
1 person likes this
@Icydoll (23472)
• India
4 Mar
2 people like this
@maezee (32988)
• United States
6 Mar
Ditto here. I was not popular and only had a handful of friends.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@maezee I think we only need a few friends to be happy. I just needed my best friend.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (81072)
• Banks, Oregon
4 Mar
In some crowds I was popular others not.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@TRBRocks420 I think it's probably like that for many of us. We are popular in our own little circle of friends.
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Mar
no.. not at all... i've never experienced being popular in my group coz i'm the shy type of person thou my friends are popular because they are intelligent and dean's lister but me, no.. i'm just an average student before.. but it's ok.. i have a lot of good memories being in an average student...
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@Betxie1221 There's nothing wrong with being average.
2 people like this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
4 Mar
@sprite1950 Tell that to the educational system and motivational speakers and you'd be talking to an empty room.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
4 Mar
@mydanods Well we can't all be high flyers. I think I've been pretty average but I don't feel my life has been a failure. My daughter was considered to be below standard at school. After she left she worked hard and now has an amazing well paid job .. she just needed to have faith in herself Despite having an average education she's never looked back.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (7729)
• Portugal
8 Mar
I had my group of friends but I cannot say that I was popular.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
8 Mar
I think it is a certain type of personality that becomes popular. I was far too quiet and geeky.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (7729)
• Portugal
8 Mar
@sprite1950 but I got the handsome boy of the all school that is now my husband
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
8 Mar
@nela13 Lucky girl! I think I've seen a picture of you on another site and you are rather pretty so I'm not surprised.
1 person likes this