Are wedding vows meaningful?

@Fleura (7360)
United Kingdom
March 5, 2018 4:08am CST
I’ve been to a few weddings over the years, and I’ve seen quite a few variations in style but I’ve also noticed some changes that seem to go deeper than just fashion. Previously, the couple would always make a vow along the lines of promising to love, honour, cherish, respect and care for each other ‘as long as you both shall live’ (the old ‘til death us do part’ line). I was always touched by this, in spite of my cynical side pointing out that close to half of those couples would end up divorcing sooner or later. But at the most recent wedding I attended, the couple promised to do all these things ‘throughout our lives together’. What does that actually mean? As far as I can see that is about as meaningless a vow as it’s possible to make, since you could turn around the very next day and say ‘That’s it! Our lives together are over’ and that’s the promise fulfilled. Which of those is better – to make a promise for life knowing you have a close to 50:50 chance of not keeping it, or to make a promise that you can fulfil in just a few minutes? All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2018.
17 people like this
15 responses
@JudyEv (137090)
• Bunbury, Australia
5 Mar
Maybe they thought they'd write their own vows and didn't think it through very thoroughly.
2 people like this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
I wonder, I will have to ask next time I see them (in a tactful way of course!)
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (137090)
• Bunbury, Australia
5 Mar
@Fleura I wish you luck with trying to frame such a question tactfully!
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44673)
• Uzbekistan
5 Mar
That is indeed odd. Now it would be interesting to find out if this is the new formula or if the couple in question requested it.
2 people like this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
I don't know, I'll have to ask (in a tactful way!)
@Morleyhunt (21455)
• Canada
5 Mar
Having worked in the bridal industry, I felt many brides should have been as careful selecting their groom as they were in selecting their dress. Too many couples put all their focus on the wedding (party) and very little on the actual marriage. (I've been married for 41 years!)
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
Congratulations! And yes I agree, they don't put enough thought or effort into marriage. Some people (often women) just want a big party where they can be the centre of attention! Many people seem to go into it with the idea 'well if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced'. And practically no-one actually knows what is involved in the legal contract of marriage, they often only find out when it goes wrong. What other contract would you sign without knowing what you were signing up to? But I have heard it argued that if they really knew, they wouldn't do it.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21455)
• Canada
5 Mar
@Fleura and then we end up with children who don't understand commitment or responsibility. It's the children who pay the price for this cavalier attitude to marriage.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
@Morleyhunt Divorce has been made easier and easier, whereas in my opinion marriage should be made more difficult!
@josie_ (8018)
• Philippines
5 Mar
Neither vows are legally binding so why should it matter?
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
No I guess you're right, there's not a lot of point in making them at all is there? They should just sign the register. It's just for show I suppose.
1 person likes this
@josie_ (8018)
• Philippines
5 Mar
@Fleura _No woman should be deprive of the romance that is her wedding day. My earlier comment was triggered by my disillusion of the church which I have left a long time ago. (after my marriage of course)
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
@josie_ If a woman or a man wants a big party, they should just have one. Marriage is a legal contract. You don't have a party when you get a new job contract or sign up to a new mobile phone contract but these days it's easier to get divorced than to change mobile provider.
1 person likes this
@rheicel (7296)
• Philippines
27 Mar
Sometimes people just like the idea of being married to someone but they don't actually know the meaning of marriage.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar
You're right - and sometimes they just want a big wedding and haven't thought too much about what happens afterwards.
1 person likes this
@rheicel (7296)
• Philippines
28 Mar
@Fleura Well, we can't blame those couples who have wanted a big wedding, for them, it's just a once in a lifetime event so they want it to be memorable there's nothing wrong with that if only they have a budget for it and won't compromise their future plans.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar
@rheicel No I agree, I just meant that some people want to get married just because they want a big party, and not necessarily because they want to put the effort into being married afterwards, if you see what I mean.
1 person likes this
@renicemae (3664)
• Philippines
23 Mar
With or without vows, it's up to the couples to keep their promise or not. During my wedding we dont prepare vows. We keep it the traditional way.
1 person likes this
@renicemae (3664)
• Philippines
27 Mar
@Fleura It's just like ours.
1 person likes this
6 Mar
Yes it is very important now a days.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
6 Mar
But vows such as this don't seem to mean anything to me!
1 person likes this
7 Mar
@Fleura In my place it is very important.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Mar
they said marrying is a lifetime commitment,so that means you have to endure an unhealthy marriage knowing it has no good dest ination at all. now i've learned from it, its better not to marry rightaway
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
6 Mar
As the old saying goes 'Marry in haste, repent at leisure' - in other words if you rush into marriage you will have plenty of time afterwards to regret it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Mar
@Fleura youre very correct
1 person likes this
@yugocean (8848)
• India
5 Mar
It is like a promice is a promice, but there is no meaning for promice now a days; who care about vows.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
To me a promise means something, but sadly I think I am the only one...
1 person likes this
@yugocean (8848)
• India
5 Mar
@Fleura I am also the one, but not the only one.
1 person likes this
@elanalove (659)
5 Mar
If you believe in marriage,,then it matters a lot for you..!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
So do you believe marriage should be for life, or just until you feel like a change?
1 person likes this
5 Mar
@Fleura if you believe in true love,,then marriage should be for lifelong,otherwise it's your choice,,
1 person likes this
@kepweng (19190)
• Waikoloa, Hawaii
27 Mar
i think its more good if philippines have Divorce
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar
Maybe, but here divorce is so easy now that it seems many people don't put any effort into their marriage, as soon as things are less than perfect they think they'll try again with someone else.
@mydanods (6747)
• Nigeria
5 Mar
They probably have already made an accommodation for divorce. It doesn't seem like they want to be together when the riding is rough by that vow.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
It sounds like they are hedging their bets to me!
1 person likes this
@MaciMaci (306)
• France
5 Mar
I think they were being realistic... Fact is, not many people have the patience to go through difficult timess in a couple and they would rather end it. I'm not saying I approve of divorce, but it's better to be honest and realistic from the start.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7360)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar
True, it just seems not worth bothering to say!
1 person likes this
5 Mar
The first choice is better
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (5738)
• Ireland
5 Mar
@fleura People seem to want to keep their options open rather to commit to something.
1 person likes this