Are wedding vows meaningful?
March 5, 2018 4:08am CST
I’ve been to a few weddings over the years, and I’ve seen quite a few variations in style but I’ve also noticed some changes that seem to go deeper than just fashion. Previously, the couple would always make a vow along the lines of promising to love, honour, cherish, respect and care for each other ‘as long as you both shall live’ (the old ‘til death us do part’ line). I was always touched by this, in spite of my cynical side pointing out that close to half of those couples would end up divorcing sooner or later. But at the most recent wedding I attended, the couple promised to do all these things ‘throughout our lives together’. What does that actually mean? As far as I can see that is about as meaningless a vow as it’s possible to make, since you could turn around the very next day and say ‘That’s it! Our lives together are over’ and that’s the promise fulfilled. Which of those is better – to make a promise for life knowing you have a close to 50:50 chance of not keeping it, or to make a promise that you can fulfil in just a few minutes? All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2018.
17 people like this
Having worked in the bridal industry, I felt many brides should have been as careful selecting their groom as they were in selecting their dress. Too many couples put all their focus on the wedding (party) and very little on the actual marriage. (I've been married for 41 years!)
• United Kingdom
Congratulations! And yes I agree, they don't put enough thought or effort into marriage. Some people (often women) just want a big party where they can be the centre of attention! Many people seem to go into it with the idea 'well if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced'. And practically no-one actually knows what is involved in the legal contract of marriage, they often only find out when it goes wrong. What other contract would you sign without knowing what you were signing up to? But I have heard it argued that if they really knew, they wouldn't do it.
• United Kingdom
@josie_ If a woman or a man wants a big party, they should just have one. Marriage is a legal contract. You don't have a party when you get a new job contract or sign up to a new mobile phone contract but these days it's easier to get divorced than to change mobile provider.
@Fleura Well, we can't blame those couples who have wanted a big wedding, for them, it's just a once in a lifetime event so they want it to be memorable there's nothing wrong with that if only they have a budget for it and won't compromise their future plans.
I think they were being realistic... Fact is, not many people have the patience to go through difficult timess in a couple and they would rather end it. I'm not saying I approve of divorce, but it's better to be honest and realistic from the start.