Are wedding vows meaningful?
By Fleur
@Fleura (29097)
United Kingdom
March 5, 2018 4:08am CST
I’ve been to a few weddings over the years, and I’ve seen quite a few variations in style but I’ve also noticed some changes that seem to go deeper than just fashion.
Previously, the couple would always make a vow along the lines of promising to love, honour, cherish, respect and care for each other ‘as long as you both shall live’ (the old ‘til death us do part’ line).
I was always touched by this, in spite of my cynical side pointing out that close to half of those couples would end up divorcing sooner or later.
But at the most recent wedding I attended, the couple promised to do all these things ‘throughout our lives together’.
What does that actually mean?
As far as I can see that is about as meaningless a vow as it’s possible to make, since you could turn around the very next day and say ‘That’s it! Our lives together are over’ and that’s the promise fulfilled.
Which of those is better – to make a promise for life knowing you have a close to 50:50 chance of not keeping it, or to make a promise that you can fulfil in just a few minutes?
All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2018.
16 people like this
12 responses
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
5 Mar 18
Having worked in the bridal industry, I felt many brides should have been as careful selecting their groom as they were in selecting their dress.
Too many couples put all their focus on the wedding (party) and very little on the actual marriage.
(I've been married for 41 years!)
1 person likes this
@Fleura (29097)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 18
Congratulations! And yes I agree, they don't put enough thought or effort into marriage. Some people (often women) just want a big party where they can be the centre of attention! Many people seem to go into it with the idea 'well if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced'. And practically no-one actually knows what is involved in the legal contract of marriage, they often only find out when it goes wrong. What other contract would you sign without knowing what you were signing up to? But I have heard it argued that if they really knew, they wouldn't do it.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (29097)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 18
@Morleyhunt Divorce has been made easier and easier, whereas in my opinion marriage should be made more difficult!
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
5 Mar 18
@Fleura and then we end up with children who don't understand commitment or responsibility. It's the children who pay the price for this cavalier attitude to marriage.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (29097)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 18
@josie_ If a woman or a man wants a big party, they should just have one. Marriage is a legal contract. You don't have a party when you get a new job contract or sign up to a new mobile phone contract but these days it's easier to get divorced than to change mobile provider.
1 person likes this
@renicemae (4883)
• Philippines
23 Mar 18
With or without vows, it's up to the couples to keep their promise or not. During my wedding we dont prepare vows. We keep it the traditional way.
1 person likes this
@rheicel (7068)
• Philippines
28 Mar 18
@Fleura Well, we can't blame those couples who have wanted a big wedding, for them, it's just a once in a lifetime event so they want it to be memorable there's nothing wrong with that if only they have a budget for it and won't compromise their future plans.
1 person likes this
@MaciMaci (300)
• France
5 Mar 18
I think they were being realistic... Fact is, not many people have the patience to go through difficult timess in a couple and they would rather end it. I'm not saying I approve of divorce, but it's better to be honest and realistic from the start.
1 person likes this
