March Writing Challenge - D9

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Day Nine: Share something you struggle with. This one is too easy. As I could very easily say depression and anxiety, and talk about it. But because almost everyone here already knows all about that from my previous posts, I'm going to say another easy but not fully known one. Which is Self-esteem issues / not liking myself. This, has been a big struggle for me since I was about 6 years old. As first I felt like there was something wrong with me / us, for why my "dad" didn't want anything to do with us. Then it was continued over the years by being bullied. As I was called ugly and stupid alot.. and being told to die, that no one would miss me. Even by my brother, cousins and uncle. And I still am to this day, when someone disagrees with my opinions, or decides they now dislike / hate me. I was also verbally abused by my ex. Which doesn't help someones self-esteem at all! Especially when you think you love them, and already have bad self-esteem issues. So yeah.. Although some days I may like how I look, how I feel in my clothes, and am comfortable enough to take new pictures; and feel smart and like I can help the world.. etc --- Most days, I absolutely hate looking at myself, and feel like the world doesn't need me because I can't do it any good. And I just want to hide under a rock.