Better to be alone than with the wrong person
@sprite1950 (30453)
Corsham, England
March 12, 2018 4:41pm CST
One of my friends told me she is thinking of going back to an ex who gave her a very hard time while she was with him. They weren't right for each other and fell out of love. She does not like being alone and would rather be with anyone than have to cope alone.
I tried to explain that being single is not that bad and certainly preferable to being with the wrong person but she isn't sure. She says she is afraid.
What do you think? Is being single better than being with someone who isn't right for you or would you put up with someone you didn't love rather than be on your own?
Image from Pixabay
20 people like this
23 responses
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@allen0187 Not everyone thinks so though.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar 18
@Essjayd You're absolutely right. We never know what is around the corner.
1 person likes this
@Essjayd (1568)
•
12 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Definitely I reckon too many stay
for the wrong reasons. I left a controlling
relationship everyone thought I was crazy to
leave a nice house, nice lifestyle! On the outside
it looked perfect on the inside it was hell.
Life with my current partner might not be one
of luxury but happier now than I've ever been
leaving my ex was the best decision I ever
made :)
1 person likes this
@Essjayd (1568)
•
12 Mar 18
@sharon6345 I think sometimes we get
idealistic about the perfect relationship and
how it should be. I don't believe there is a
picture perfect one size fits all relationship
but if he loves you he'll find a way from whatever
is holding him back
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@LadyDuck Yes. You are lucky you found your husband.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@LadyDuck I envy you. I wish I had met my soulmate but I'm not unhappy in my life.
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@LadyDuck (457967)
• Switzerland
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 You are right, I feel lucky.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@jaboUK I agree but she's very unhappy being alone too. I've been wondering if I had any single friends I could introduce her too but I think they are all attached. She's not really the type to get out much so she doesn't meet many new people.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@nanette64 Well to be honest I don't think it would make much difference at the moment because she just wants to be with him and nothing else seems to matter.
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@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Maybe she needs to take some college courses or get involved in a craft she likes, or volunteer for a charity or something.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@nela13 Thanks! I don't think that's enough for her though. She wants to be with a man.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@nela13 He treats her so badly and has destroyed her confidence in the past.
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@nela13 (55698)
• Portugal
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 A man gives us so much work and if he treats her bad it is even worst.
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@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
12 Mar 18
I am single/never married with only one very short relationship behind me. Ive done everything in my life on my own so I cant really compare it to the alternative situation. I do know from observing the relationships of others that being alone is much better than being with someone you don't love or doesnt love you.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar 18
@Starmaiden You're so right. I love my own space and being able to come and go as I please although I envy people who have found the right person and are very happy.
2 people like this
@youless (112108)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar 18
I think life will be much more suffering to be with the wrong person. If you are still single, then it is all your business. But if you are with a wrong person, then his/her business will also be your business. Things will be much more complicated.
1 person likes this
@youless (112108)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 And it will lead to more fights and you can't find peaceful. But it seems many people don't realize it.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@youless Yes I can't imagine going home every night to someone you didn't love. It must be horrible.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@youless Yes some people will stick to what they know as they are afraid of the alternative.
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@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
13 Mar 18
I know some people like your friend who can't seem to live alone. So they usually end up with the wrong person. Each of us are different and we have different needs and wants. I've always believe that those kind of people who really can't be happy being single are the weaker ones.
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@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 That's the right attitude. Why settle for less when you know you deserve so much more. It's called self-wroth.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@toniganzon I would love to have found that special someone but I never have. Having said that I'm not unhappy in my life
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@toniganzon Definitely. It's not that I wouldn't live with a man if I thought he could change my life for the better, it's just that I have never found that person and I don't want to settle for anything less.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
13 Mar 18
Being single is better than being with the wrong person.But I do not think your friend would agree with you.So it is better to let her decide.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
18 Mar 18
@silvermist She still wants to be with him and they have been on a date so I'm hoping it went well and that he has changed.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@silvermist Yes it's not my decision to make but I hope she will be ok.
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@silvermist (19702)
• India
18 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Yes naturally as a friend,we can't help worrying.But we can only hope for the best for her.
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@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
12 Mar 18
I have loved being single. It is much better to be single than to stress and be upset just because you want someone to hold onto at night. It isn't worth it. It just makes things worse. It is better to take time, explore yourself and figure out what you want. She needs to be told that she needs to figure out what makes her happy instead of what she wants.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar 18
@DesirousDreamer I have tried talking to her but she thinks I am interfering so in the end it's down to her. At least I tried.
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
14 Mar 18
@sprite1950 That is the best you can do. At least you tried! Some people just cannot see around it until they finally learn that it just isn't going to work.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129418)
• Israel
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950
Snowdrop66, I like your title. It is very hard for some people to be alone. Yes, at times I get lonely but I have my cat to entertain me. After being married and it not good I would rather be divorced than back with someone that was not good at all for me.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
I think you are right and since I wrote this discussion the relationship has failed again. She was a little upset but I think she now realises it's for the best.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Apr 18
@Hannihar Well some things just aren't meant to be.
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@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
12 Mar 18
Ugh. It's hard to watch someone making choices you know are bad for them. I don't think you're going to be able to talk her out of it, unfortunately. Just try to stay her friend and be there for her when she needs you.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar 18
@spiderdust I can't see it working out as he hasn't changed and I don't think anyone else would have him! I'll always be her friend though and be around to pick up the pieces.
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@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
12 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Hopefully she'll realize it was a mistake without too much damage being done.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar 18
@spiderdust I'm worried because she was a wreck last time. He destroyed her confidence and I just can't see it being different this time. I could be wrong.
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
13 Mar 18
I would rather be alone than deal with people who will only drag me down. They will just make my life harder than it is. 
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@mlgen1037 The same for me. I'm very independent and I wouldn't like to have someone come in and change that.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@mlgen1037 Some people just find it too hard to be alone. I love the fact I am self sufficient and don't have to rely on anyone else.
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Definitely. Not nice to be surrounded by negative people.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@Katiepie I think some people do stay with people they don't love because they don't know what else to do.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@Katiepie I suppose some people have nowhere else to go.
@Katiepie (117)
• Okotoks, Alberta
13 Mar 18
@sprite1950 I'm sure many do or they are to comfortable to leave.
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@neha211985 (780)
• India
13 Mar 18
Single is better than being in wrong relationship. Iiving alone may be difficult in start, but we need to do what's right for us.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@neha211985 I guess we're all different in what we like and need but I like living alone. I have friends I can visit if I want to so I'm not lonely.
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@snowy22315 (169905)
• United States
14 Mar 18
I would say neither situation is preferable but it is zero fun to live with someone who is mean to you or who doesn't give a crap, or who simply doesn't get you. I hope your friend keeps looking!
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
14 Mar 18
@snowy22315 I'm pretty sure she's going back but at least if it doesn't work out this time she will have learned something .. I hope.
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@sol_cee Well I suppose it's her choice and she doesn't want me to interfere. I just don't want her to be unhappy like she was before.
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Mar 18
Oh hell no @sprite1950 . That girl needs to go see a shrink.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@nanette64 She will do if she goes back to him!
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@Icydoll I wish she thought that way but she doesn't. I think she is going back to him.
@akanksha12 (103)
•
13 Mar 18
We should always stay with positive people. Wrong persons may always let us down. Infact we should avoid such people
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar 18
@akanksha12 Sometimes we just make the wrong choices.
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