Better to be alone than with the wrong person

@sprite1950 (14494)
Corsham, England
March 12, 2018 4:41pm CST
One of my friends told me she is thinking of going back to an ex who gave her a very hard time while she was with him. They weren't right for each other and fell out of love. She does not like being alone and would rather be with anyone than have to cope alone. I tried to explain that being single is not that bad and certainly preferable to being with the wrong person but she isn't sure. She says she is afraid. What do you think? Is being single better than being with someone who isn't right for you or would you put up with someone you didn't love rather than be on your own? Image from Pixabay
25 people like this
29 responses
@TheSojourner (17290)
• United States
12 Mar
As I have lived singly since 1997, with the exception of six months with a roommate right after leaving my spouse, and one year renting a room from a crazy woman while I was attending the University, I think you can probably guess my opinion on the subject!
5 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@CoralLevang Hey Coral, hope you're good. I'm trying to talk my friend out of living with this guy as although he didn't physically hurt her he destroyed her confidence, In the end though it's her decision so I suppose I should keep my beak out.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Mar
@sprite1950 It's all we can do, Snowy... If you talk her out of it, however, and she decides to go back, you will be blamed and lose the friendship. At least that's my experience. He will turn her against you....so, keeping the beak out might be a good thing. *nods*
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@CoralLevang I never liked him and I always thought she seemed nervous around him but she's the kind of person that needs to be with someone .. I just wish it wasn't him. We shall see.
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (147968)
• United States
12 Mar
I cna only speak for myself after what I have seen over the course of 48 years. I don't want to be stuck with anyone. and when I say that with someone who feels it's cheaper or easier to live with me then try and make it on their own. That could be for a number of reasons. I prefer to be on my own but I can manage having love in my life. It does not have to be where she share an adress. In your friends case I am hoping there is more then you know. But the owrst thing in the world for me is sharing a space with someone and not in love. No I am gone.
4 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@sharon6345 I agree with you 100%. I like being single anyway so to be living with someone who I didn't love would crucify me. I have a partner of 15 years who I don't live with and it suits us,
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (147968)
• United States
12 Mar
@sprite1950 Yes it's nice for me to have the option in case the man of my dreams drop out the sky. I think the man I am with now is great. I truly adore him. But he is not my future and the blessing is we have our own homes. If I were living with him I could not manage that. I would leave with a suit and some cash. I can't stay under those situations.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@sharon6345 Your position sounds very similar to mine. I don't believe the man I am with is perfect for me but he is a good friend. I still think I might meet the man of my dreams even though time is running short.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (34432)
• Philippines
13 Mar
True that! 100% agree!
4 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@allen0187 Not everyone thinks so though.
3 people like this
@Essjayd (1614)
12 Mar
I'd rather be alone than live with someone I didn't love! If a couple don't love each other move on. Being with the wrong person could mean missing out on the right one
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@Essjayd You're absolutely right. We never know what is around the corner.
2 people like this
@Essjayd (1614)
12 Mar
@sprite1950 Definitely I reckon too many stay for the wrong reasons. I left a controlling relationship everyone thought I was crazy to leave a nice house, nice lifestyle! On the outside it looked perfect on the inside it was hell. Life with my current partner might not be one of luxury but happier now than I've ever been leaving my ex was the best decision I ever made :)
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (147968)
• United States
12 Mar
You have it down right dear. And I feel I am with the man I want to marry. But he has something that stops him from being here. I can't blame him and it's not his fault.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (55157)
• United Kingdom
13 Mar
My goodness, she shouldn't go back. I'd much rather be alone than in a relationship like that.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@jaboUK I agree but she's very unhappy being alone too. I've been wondering if I had any single friends I could introduce her too but I think they are all attached. She's not really the type to get out much so she doesn't meet many new people.
3 people like this
@nanette64 (18207)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Mar
@sprite1950 Maybe she needs to take some college courses or get involved in a craft she likes, or volunteer for a charity or something.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@nanette64 Well to be honest I don't think it would make much difference at the moment because she just wants to be with him and nothing else seems to matter.
1 person likes this
@Starmaiden (7799)
• Canada
12 Mar
I am single/never married with only one very short relationship behind me. Ive done everything in my life on my own so I cant really compare it to the alternative situation. I do know from observing the relationships of others that being alone is much better than being with someone you don't love or doesnt love you.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@Starmaiden You're so right. I love my own space and being able to come and go as I please although I envy people who have found the right person and are very happy.
3 people like this
• Philippines
13 Mar
yes youre right, whats the point of having a partner if you'll just always fight, that sucks
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@Strawberry18 I agree but some people would rather have than than be alone in life.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Mar
@sprite1950 hmmm yeah i can tell but on my case im tired of being a martyr to my previous boyfriend/s who tend to not even value my existence before, its hard so right now im married to a guy who seems immature and spoiled, in which i found it awkward and fightings/misunderstanding is always present, i cant afford to be abused for the rest of my life. i already have a daughter that im happy with so i dont think a guy in my life is still important, unless he is a big help to me either. anyway im already citing my personal life now lol
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@Strawberry18 Would you leave him?
2 people like this
@nela13 (10240)
• Portugal
13 Mar
I would prefer to stay alone, besides that she has great friends like you.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@nela13 Thanks! I don't think that's enough for her though. She wants to be with a man.
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@nela13 (10240)
• Portugal
13 Mar
@sprite1950 A man gives us so much work and if he treats her bad it is even worst.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@nela13 He treats her so badly and has destroyed her confidence in the past.
2 people like this
@silvermist (20094)
• India
13 Mar
Being single is better than being with the wrong person.But I do not think your friend would agree with you.So it is better to let her decide.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@silvermist Yes it's not my decision to make but I hope she will be ok.
2 people like this
@silvermist (20094)
• India
18 Mar
@sprite1950 Yes naturally as a friend,we can't help worrying.But we can only hope for the best for her.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
18 Mar
@silvermist She still wants to be with him and they have been on a date so I'm hoping it went well and that he has changed.
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@LadyDuck (189098)
• Switzerland
13 Mar
Better alone than with the wrong person. No matter how hard it seems to be alone, life can become a nightmare with the wrong person.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@LadyDuck Yes. You are lucky you found your husband.
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@LadyDuck (189098)
• Switzerland
13 Mar
@sprite1950 You are right, I feel lucky.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@LadyDuck I envy you. I wish I had met my soulmate but I'm not unhappy in my life.
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@spiderdust (7602)
• San Jose, California
12 Mar
Ugh. It's hard to watch someone making choices you know are bad for them. I don't think you're going to be able to talk her out of it, unfortunately. Just try to stay her friend and be there for her when she needs you.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@spiderdust I can't see it working out as he hasn't changed and I don't think anyone else would have him! I'll always be her friend though and be around to pick up the pieces.
2 people like this
• San Jose, California
12 Mar
@sprite1950 Hopefully she'll realize it was a mistake without too much damage being done.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@spiderdust I'm worried because she was a wreck last time. He destroyed her confidence and I just can't see it being different this time. I could be wrong.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (53688)
• Philippines
13 Mar
I know some people like your friend who can't seem to live alone. So they usually end up with the wrong person. Each of us are different and we have different needs and wants. I've always believe that those kind of people who really can't be happy being single are the weaker ones.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@toniganzon Definitely. It's not that I wouldn't live with a man if I thought he could change my life for the better, it's just that I have never found that person and I don't want to settle for anything less.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (53688)
• Philippines
13 Mar
@sprite1950 That's the right attitude. Why settle for less when you know you deserve so much more. It's called self-wroth.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@toniganzon I would love to have found that special someone but I never have. Having said that I'm not unhappy in my life
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29606)
• Manila, Philippines
13 Mar
I would rather be alone than deal with people who will only drag me down. They will just make my life harder than it is.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@mlgen1037 The same for me. I'm very independent and I wouldn't like to have someone come in and change that.
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@mlgen1037 (29606)
• Manila, Philippines
13 Mar
@sprite1950 Definitely. Not nice to be surrounded by negative people.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@mlgen1037 Some people just find it too hard to be alone. I love the fact I am self sufficient and don't have to rely on anyone else.
2 people like this
@Katiepie (119)
• Okotoks, Alberta
13 Mar
Haha most definetly single than be with someone not right for me!
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@Katiepie I think some people do stay with people they don't love because they don't know what else to do.
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@Katiepie (119)
• Okotoks, Alberta
13 Mar
@sprite1950 I'm sure many do or they are to comfortable to leave.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@Katiepie I suppose some people have nowhere else to go.
1 person likes this
@youless (94757)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar
I think life will be much more suffering to be with the wrong person. If you are still single, then it is all your business. But if you are with a wrong person, then his/her business will also be your business. Things will be much more complicated.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@youless Yes I can't imagine going home every night to someone you didn't love. It must be horrible.
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@youless (94757)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar
@sprite1950 And it will lead to more fights and you can't find peaceful. But it seems many people don't realize it.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@youless Yes some people will stick to what they know as they are afraid of the alternative.
2 people like this
• Peoria, Arizona
12 Mar
I have loved being single. It is much better to be single than to stress and be upset just because you want someone to hold onto at night. It isn't worth it. It just makes things worse. It is better to take time, explore yourself and figure out what you want. She needs to be told that she needs to figure out what makes her happy instead of what she wants.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@DesirousDreamer I have tried talking to her but she thinks I am interfering so in the end it's down to her. At least I tried.
1 person likes this
• Peoria, Arizona
14 Mar
@sprite1950 That is the best you can do. At least you tried! Some people just cannot see around it until they finally learn that it just isn't going to work.
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@Icydoll (27950)
• India
13 Mar
It's always better to be single than being with wrong person...it's like hell to live together with no understanding..better your friend get right person in her life.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@Icydoll I wish she thought that way but she doesn't. I think she is going back to him.
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@sol_cee (18443)
• Japan
13 Mar
Must be frustrating, reasoning out to someone who has made up their mind..
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@sol_cee Well I suppose it's her choice and she doesn't want me to interfere. I just don't want her to be unhappy like she was before.
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• India
13 Mar
Single is better than being in wrong relationship. Iiving alone may be difficult in start, but we need to do what's right for us.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
13 Mar
@neha211985 I guess we're all different in what we like and need but I like living alone. I have friends I can visit if I want to so I'm not lonely.
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@Kandae11 (40337)
12 Mar
Some people can't bear the thought of living on their own. Not me, I prefer being single than living with someone who is difficult to get along with. I was married once already anyway.
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@sprite1950 (14494)
• Corsham, England
12 Mar
@Kandae11 I decided a long time ago that I did not like living with men. Tried it, didn't like it and I now have my own house where I can come and go as I please.
2 people like this