the bully

March 13, 2018 2:24am CST
The Bully exists everywhere, regardless of race, colour, age, culture, gender or sexual orientation. Some are subtle, some don't bother to hide it. I doubt there are many among us who have a) never been bullied, and b) never been The Bully. Oftentimes, The Bully will put other people in awkward and uncomfortable positions. By other people, I mean me - purely for the benefit of this post. By The Bully, I mean a male lecturer at my workplace. The victim is a female student whom is one of a few in the class that I support. You know him, and you also know her. He's the chap who knows his subject and doesn't understand why other people don't. He gets frustrated with those who don't, but instead of trying a different tactic he just repeats the same thing. He forgets that these students arrive with a plethora of different strategies for working things out, and that if they didn't get it after three hours of maths a week for the last twelve years, they're not going to suddenly get it in one hour a week, which they see as a pointless hour. I agree with them. And yes, it's maths. She is the girl who doesn't want to be there. Yes, she is bolshy but, to be fair, she doesn't give as much as she gets back. Yesterday he took it to a new low. She spoke, he mimicked her. She moved, he told her off. She spoke to me, he told her to shush. When he knew she was struggling, he didn't offer to help. He goaded her in the same way I used to goad my siblings as a child, in an effort to get them into trouble. Despite my protestations and a chat we had earlier, she left. I have never worked with him before, but a friend who has tells me that there is always one student who he has a need to control and pick on. I wonder if he is the same at home, with one of his children a constant victim who will never be as good as the others. I just don't understand why some adults take their position of power to the extreme, find the vulnerabilities and attack when they should be protecting. All I can do is put the feelers out, email her personal tutor, continue to advocate on her behalf and hope for the best. I can't do much else from my lowly position. *sigh*
6 people like this
4 responses
@LadyDuck (157025)
• Switzerland
13 Mar
We had a teacher like this, I remember I hated so much to assist to her lessons. I am sure they are the same at home and they are the same when they go shopping. They need a victim to provoke and annoy. It's a sort of way to show their power.
2 people like this
13 Mar
I don't think I remember such a teacher. I had a Physics teacher who didn't think girls were capable of science and he used to make remarks, but never aimed at any one girl in particular.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (157025)
• Switzerland
14 Mar
@Poppylicious The teacher I remember was our Math teacher.
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (17282)
• Sutton, England
14 Mar
I worked with a similar teacher. She always picked on weaker students. I did have strong words with her once I was able to get evidence of what she was up to. I was the personal tutor and course co-ordinator. I would let the girl's personal tutor know what you have observed.
1 person likes this
14 Mar
I may well do. The thing is though that she's an apprentice so she's only in College for one afternoon. My colleagues have suggested that I just talk to the maths tutor ... apparently he is known for this behaviour, but he will listen if someone intervenes. I shall pull up my big girl pants next Monday and do what needs to be done!
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (17282)
• Sutton, England
14 Mar
@Poppylicious I guess it depends on how well you get on with him If he is known for bullying behaviour the chances are the personal tutor will know about him. If it doesn't work then I personally would speak to the personal tutor as I'm sure he/she would not want to be left in the dark. Good luck with this.
1 person likes this
15 Mar
@Gillygirl Thank you, petal!
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
13 Mar
My sympathy to the girl who is being bullied. For some....being bullied forces them to rise above it. Others collapse and never seem to recover.
1 person likes this
13 Mar
I think she'll be fine. But it is putting her off learning maths.
@xFiacre (4418)
• Ireland
13 Mar
@poppylicious I had several of those at school. It’s a miracle I survived.
1 person likes this
13 Mar
Hallelujah!
1 person likes this