Continued Car Troubles Causing Me Stress
By patgalca
@patgalca (18174)
Orangeville, Ontario
March 14, 2018 2:02pm CST
We have two vehicles. A 2006 Malibu and a 2009 Ford Ranger (pick-up truck). During the summers both vehicles are taken over by our girls as they both work out of town. Our older daughter has been "going to buy" a vehicle for 2 years. She is so picky. My younger daughter is away at university so she doesn't really need a vehicle until very soon. She has been working on buying a vehicle as well but she's got student loans up the wazoo so doesn't want to spend too much. She should have a vehicle for this summer... I hope.
But right now... My older daughter is driving the pick-up because the Malibu is pretty much falling apart. Right now the check engine light is on, the brake light, brake fluid message (which we just did a month ago and it's back on again), and oil change needed. I do not want to drive that car out of town in the condition it is in. I also think it's ridiculous putting more money into that car as we have done so much to it over the past two years because of its deteriorating condition. We tolerate the CD stuck in the CD player, the trunk button not always working and the key lock totally rusted over, the lock button on the passenger side not working, even the locks clicking when I closed the door to wipe snow off the car locking TWO sets of keys in the car.
I don't go out very often so we are doing okay this way. I have spoken to my daughter's boyfriend as he drives a work truck during the week. I said that if they were living together (which they have been planning for awhile) she would be driving his vehicle. So he gives it to her for during the week a lot now. Right now, she doesn't have it... and I need a vehicle tomorrow. I have to drive on a major highway. It's lunch for my brother's 60th birthday. What do I do? Cancel?
Last summer I had lots of health problems due to the stress caused by the vehicle situation. We don't have the money to buy a new vehicle - none0.
I need a vehicle for tomorrow. What the heck am I going to do? Cancel my lunch plans? I rarely go out. When something does come up I have this issue to deal with every time.
This is only one part of my life that is causing me health problems. I am tired and in pain and the more stuff that comes up the more depressed I get.
4 people like this
9 responses
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
14 Mar 18
sounds very distressing right now - wish I had good answers oe advice to offer
2 people like this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 18
I am a worrier, even more so when I try calling and texting people for answers and no one responding. It worked out in the end as far as having a vehicle for tomorrow, but the Malibu constantly having problems is frustrating. I wish we had the money to buy a new car.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
15 Mar 18
@patgalca glad you have at least got the immediate transport situation sorted out OK
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
14 Mar 18
Anyway to carpool or have someone pick you up so you could attend?
2 people like this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
14 Mar 18
I am considering driving the Malibu to my sister's house and going with her. She is 40 minutes from me and I would be driving on a highway, but not a major highway where cars drive at high speeds. But I have texted my daughter's boyfriend and told him to get his truck here tonight. No response as yet, but he is working.
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
14 Mar 18
@patgalca That sounds like a reasonable solution. Or would you be able to drop your daughter off? Then go? Or meet half way and ask your sister to pick you up and carpool? Maybe like 20 minutes in to make you feel more comfortable. Hopefully your daughters boyfriend responses and you get a solution so you can attend your brothers 60th birthday.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
20 Mar 18
I've been making that clear this week. At one point I said to my daughter, "In what world is it okay to take something off the clothes line, and when the hanger falls leave it on the floor?" She insisted she picked the hangers up. I said she missed one.. I told her they always fall off, even for me. It just makes me feel like "Ah, leave it. Mom will do it." I said the same thing to my husband. We'll see if anything changes.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45434)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
15 Mar 18
I don't suppose the GO would get you where you need to be?
Taking the Malibu to your sister's and carpooling sounds like a plan, too.
Good luck, and happy birthday to your brother.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 18
My daughter came home from work... waited for her boyfriend to pick her up on his way home from work, and she is sleeping there (because that was time she could have been sleeping as she gets up at 4am), and she'll be driving his truck to work. I have the truck here. I tend to worry and panic when no one is responding to me. But it's still a bugger that the Malibu is having so many problems.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45434)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
15 Mar 18
@patgalca Now that sounds better. Have fun and don't worry so much. 
@Marilynda1225 (79570)
• United States
14 Mar 18
I would let your daughter worry about her own transportation for the day and take your car to your brothers lunch. Let someone else be stressed
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
14 Mar 18
I think regardless of which route she picks , to drive her car or not .. the car is falling apart and she doesn't feel safe driving it which makes this situation harder.
2 people like this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 18
@infatuatedbby Exactly. The situation with my daughter has been frustrating for awhile but it is what it is. I am just getting frustrated with the car "breaking down". Thanks for your support.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 18
@Marilynda1225 My daughter is at her boyfriend's now and will be driving his truck. I just don't like knowing things until the very last minute.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (115913)
• United States
14 Mar 18
Why are you letting your daughter drive your car? Tell her it is time to buy her own. Letting her use yours for free and inconvenience you in the process for TWO YEARS is your own fault. Time for her to grow up and become responsible for herself.
Why would you cancel your plans tomorrow? You need the car. It is YOUR car. Seems simple to me.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Mar 18
I try and get my husband to put his foot down, but he is too much of a softy. For me to put my foot down with my daughter it turns into a major row which is more stressful. I am more frustrated that the Malibu is always having problems and that we don't have the money to buy a new car.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (115913)
• United States
15 Mar 18
@patgalca One more instance where he doesn't bother to support you, huh? 
Honestly, you guys are just enabling your daughter at this point and she is taking total advantage of you. Why should she move out or buy a car if she can live at home and use yours for free indefinitely?
I have absolutely no clue why you would allow your life to be so inconvenienced just so SHE can have full access to a car that isn't even hers. This is just one more example where you are going to continue to get walked all over until you finally say "enough is enough" and stand up for yourself. Until then, you are going to be upset and make yourself sick about it.
And I do understand that you are upset about the car having problems as well, but that seems to be out of your control at the moment. THIS is something that you absolutely CAN control.
Honestly, you guys are just enabling your daughter at this point and she is taking total advantage of you. Why should she move out or buy a car if she can live at home and use yours for free indefinitely?
I have absolutely no clue why you would allow your life to be so inconvenienced just so SHE can have full access to a car that isn't even hers. This is just one more example where you are going to continue to get walked all over until you finally say "enough is enough" and stand up for yourself. Until then, you are going to be upset and make yourself sick about it.
And I do understand that you are upset about the car having problems as well, but that seems to be out of your control at the moment. THIS is something that you absolutely CAN control.1 person likes this
@Essjayd (1568)
•
14 Mar 18
Nah it's you car if you need it
you take priority over your daughter!
2 years to choose a car?? I'm pretty sure she
would find one very quickly if she had no access
to yours!
I was always insured to drive my
parents car but I saved and bought my own
as they made it clear I wasn't having theirs
everyday! They'd loan it to me if mine was in
for repairs but that was it!
1 person likes this
@augusta123 (6649)
•
15 Mar 18
Car problems can be very.frustrating have tried contacting the right experts for maintenance?
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Mar 18
The right experts are unaffordable for us. My daughter's boyfriend's buddy is a mechanic. We get the parts at cost and pay him very little to do the job. It's just getting them to get around to getting the job done takes forever and the problems just add up.
