Book Titles That Didn't Make It

books
@MALUSE (44667)
Uzbekistan
March 19, 2018 2:01pm CST
Judging from the texts on the account pages a great number of members of this site are freelance writers and/or published authors. Now that self-publishing is possible, everybody has a chance, of course. Yet, a real book of the dead tree variety is still more impressive than one you read on an electronic gadget, isn't it? How can you impress family, friends and acquaintances if there is nothing to show? The crux is, however, that you need a publisher to get there. Unfortunately, this can be an insurmountable obstacle. I'm introducing you to 20 manuscripts which haven't been accepted by any publishing house. I wonder why? 1) For Whom The Smell Rolls - A History Of Deodorants 2) Far From The Madding Kraut - German-free Holiday Destinations 3) About A Buoy - Memories Of A Lifeguard 4) Tender Is The Knight - Revelations Of A Cannibal 5) The Drapes Of Cloth - A Fashion Manual 6) Laugh etc. - The World's Best Jokes 7) The Son Also Rises - A Parent's Diary 8) Of Lice And Men - A Hairdresser's Tale 9) Bride And Prejudice - A PC Wedding Advisor 10) Cents and Sensibility - How To Become A Millionaire 11) 6.50 from Paddington - A List Of Recent Railways Delays 12) Russia Mouse - Computer Accessories From The East 13) The Old Van And The Sea - A Survey Of Illegal Dumping Sites 14) Go Sell It On The Mountain - A Salesman's Manual 15) Wine And Punishment - How To Drink Moderately 16) Remembrance Of Things Fast - Vintage Ferraris 17) Fetch 22 - How To Organise A Soccer Match 18) She Poops To Conquer - The Art Of Flatulence 19) The Jungle Look - A Fashion Preview 20) A Small Clown In Germany - MALUSE's CV The first member who mentions the correct titles and authors will be made an Honorary Bookworm. The prize is a (sorry, only virtual) sheet of parchment and a quill. No googling ! Don't even think of it! If you do it nevertheless, you and your computer will catch a virus.
19 people like this
17 responses
@OneOfMany (12401)
• United States
19 Mar
Actually, with CreateSpace and other options, paperbacks are now print on demand, which makes it easy to put physical books in the hands of others. I haven't gotten to that stage yet, but once I have enough material for an actual book, I will also take advantage of that platform. Paperbacks are making a comeback too. People like owning something they can hold.
4 people like this
@shaggin (38521)
• United States
19 Mar
@OneOfMany people wouldn’t like print the books if they can just read them for no extra cost as an ebook but I do hope you are right about books making a comeback.
3 people like this
@OneOfMany (12401)
• United States
19 Mar
@shaggin Actually, I have the inside scoop. Other authors often say that their ebook sales suffer, but their paperback books do much better. Even book store owners and market surveys report that ebooks aren't as popular as they once were.
2 people like this
@shaggin (38521)
• United States
19 Mar
@OneOfMany that’s great news to me I was worried all bookstores would wind up shutting down eventually. When I was a kid there were a lot more open then there are now.
2 people like this
@Plethos (11627)
• United States
19 Mar
the old van and the sea, can also be a tale about human trafficking along the U.S. and Mexico border.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
Indeed. This would make sense.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Mar
Haha! But how will they drive it over "The Wall"? :-D.
2 people like this
@Plethos (11627)
• United States
19 Mar
@Starmaiden - they can always go under.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (182496)
• Switzerland
20 Mar
I was going to ask if you really want I mention all the original titles. I can just mention some: 1 For Whom the Bell Tolls 19 The Jungle Book ... Now, you should now that book number 2 was not refused, because "The son also rises" was really published and it is by the author Gregory Clark
2 people like this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
20 Mar
Thanks. I didn't know that. I've indeed found the title on amazon. The Son Also Rises: Surnames and the History of Social Mobility by Gregory Clark
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (182496)
• Switzerland
20 Mar
@MALUSE It is a pretty weird title for a book.
2 people like this
@shaggin (38521)
• United States
19 Mar
I love holding a book in my hands and reading it. You are right to see your name on a book would be more impressive to friends and family then an ebook. I have s friend who was writing an ebook figuring someone will buy it. To me out of the millions of ebooks it probably isn’t likely to sell unless it’s quite good but all the best for her efforts.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
An ebook doesn't have the same appeal as a paper book.
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (22428)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Mar
@shaggin I have read ebooks but I prefer hard back and paper back books.
2 people like this
@amadeo (75863)
• United States
19 Mar
Small clown in Germany is this yours.I love the list there.So clever.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
--- A Small Town In Germany. A spy thriller by the British author John le Carré
1 person likes this
@amadeo (75863)
• United States
19 Mar
@MALUSE thank you
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (51104)
• United States
19 Mar
I know about a dozen of the titles, but I'm not sure of all the authors of them.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
That's not a bad result!
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (51104)
• United States
19 Mar
@MALUSE Louie started reading Of Mice And Men but got mad when he couldn't find any mice in it
3 people like this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
20 Mar
@JolietJake I can understand that the cat felt cheated.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (15160)
• Germany
20 Mar
I only recognized a few. Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, The Old Man and the Sea,, The Jungle Book and Crime and Punishment
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
20 Mar
Goody!
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (20662)
• Canada
20 Mar
I listen to my books, Audio books from the library are on while I paint. That list is hilarious, thanks for the laugh.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
20 Mar
Thank you for the friendly comment.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (34151)
• Philippines
20 Mar
eBooks don't stand a chance against actual books... at least in my book! 'For Whom The Smell Rolls' does have a nice ring to it!
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
20 Mar
Thank you.
2 people like this
@sabtraversa (13331)
• Italy
19 Mar
Funny titles. I have no clue why a publisher wouldn't accept them, they're marvelous!
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
Thank you!
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (7559)
• Staten Island, New York
19 Mar
These are the only ones I can think of. For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Grapes of Wrath, The Old Man and the Sea, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Of Mice and Men, Crime and Punishment, The Jungle Book
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
All correct, but, sadly, not enough. :-(
2 people like this
• Staten Island, New York
19 Mar
@MALUSE I am glad I got these right.
1 person likes this
• Dallas, Texas
23 Mar
This post is awesome. I mean, quite the list of morphed titles. It makes me wonder. Really wonder. Hemingway ... not. For sure.
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
23 Mar
What are you wondering about?
@Tina30219 (36625)
• Onaway, Michigan
19 Mar
Nice titles I could not guess if I tried and I am a big time reader.
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
Check the comments below. Most real titles have already been found.
@Starmaiden (7636)
• Canada
19 Mar
I was able to recognize 10 out of twenty. A few of them I have read. 1. For Whom the Bell Tolls 2. Tender is the Night 3. The Grapes of Wrath 4. Of Mice and Men 5. Pride and Prejudice. (Ive read this one) 6. The Old Man and the Sea. (This one too) 7. Remembrance of Things Past 8. Catch 22. (This one too) 9. The Jungle Book. (Saw the movie) 10. A Small Town in Germany I know I didn't win the prize, but maybe a consolation? :-)
@MALUSE (44667)
• Uzbekistan
19 Mar
Well done! I wrote an elaborate comment for you but it disappeared. (?) Up to now, you're in the lead.
1 person likes this
@Telynor (1353)
• United States
20 Mar
scary how many of the titles I recognise and have read.
@JudyEv (137038)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
There are some clever titles here but I don't think I'd be buying any of them.
@andriaperry (61263)
• Anniston, Alabama
19 Mar
# 4 is just funny. My brain is not functioning at all today so I wont make a fool of myself.