Losing Friends.

Pixabay image.
@Kandae11 (38813)
March 30, 2018 9:46am CST
Are you afraid to tell a friend what you really think? There are many ways that one can lose a friend or spoil a friendship - and one of those ways is plain talk. Now - could you sit by and watch a friend head down the wrong path and tell yourself -"let her learn by her own folly?" I remember advising a friend that the guy she was crazy about was bad news and a womanizer. She didn't believe me and our friendship cooled considerably. Could she have thought that I was interested in him? I don't know - but she went ahead with the 'romance' which fizzled miserably within a brief two months . And I lost a friend. I couldn't help wondering if I should have kept what I knew to myself. Have you ever lost a friendship in a similar fashion? Have there been times when you were afraid to tell a friend something which they might not want to hear?
29 people like this
31 responses
@amadeo (67872)
• United States
30 Mar
First never give any advice to anyone.Unless they ask for.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Even a close friend?
2 people like this
@jstory07 (68403)
• Roseburg, Oregon
30 Mar
@Kandae11 Even a close friend.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (67872)
• United States
30 Mar
@jstory07 well depend what kind of advice he ask.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29647)
• Manila, Philippines
30 Mar
I do not like losing friends except for valid reasons. If it is about love life of a friend, I learned the hard way that I decided to keep my mouth mum and pretend that it never happened. I do not like to divulge on my friends' romantic agendas. I will say a word when things have turned for the worst. Then I can say "I know." hahaha
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
In future I will stay out of it completely.
4 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29647)
• Manila, Philippines
30 Mar
@Kandae11 yes, better that way that lose people. For most of the time, we become irrational when love gets in the way.
4 people like this
@just4him (120582)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Mar
I'm sorry you lost a friendship in that manner. I've lost friends, and it was no sad loss in the end. It was never a matter of romance though, just opinion.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Yes indeed - a matter of opinion could result in lost friendship - especially political opinion.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (39126)
• United States
30 Mar
NO I have never lost a friend for that reason but some I have lost for reasons I will never understand, it just ended.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Sometimes it is hard to understand the reasoning of others and it is difficult to decide which route to take. In another case, a woman lost her friend because she did not tell the friend that her husband was cheating
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (18491)
• United States
30 Mar
Oh dear. I'm really surprised that the woman dropped you as a friend after your warning. I really value that input from a friend - even when it's something I don't want to hear. As long as they aren't trying to force me. Just inform me. It makes me think more of that friend. Then again... usually... I think I would politely say something, but weighing the situation. I have this one friend who is head-over-feet in love with this man who is just using her. I know if I were to say anything she wouldn't accept it in the least... so in her case.... "let her learn by her own folly"
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Well, she didn't drop me immediately, but things were not the same . Then when I was proved to be right , that really ended it.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (18491)
• United States
30 Mar
@Kandae11 Wow, she might be ashamed to admit you were right or something
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
@FayeHazel I think that's it.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (164154)
• Switzerland
31 Mar
When it's a matter of romance, never give an advice, people do not listen.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
So I have realized.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (164154)
• Switzerland
31 Mar
@Kandae11 I tried to warn my brother, he did not listen of course. His marriage did not last and then he accused me not to have warned him.
1 person likes this
@NoorNoor (1189)
• India
30 Mar
No i've not lost a friend in that way.I had a friend who is bold I would prefer her many times to handle some difficult situation.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Most shy people prefer bold friends.
2 people like this
@NoorNoor (1189)
• India
30 Mar
@Kandae11 yes i'm not that much bold compared to her.
1 person likes this
@Madshadi (8932)
• Brussels, Belgium
31 Mar
Some people who are not open to accepting an advice or who would think that I am after something else, I just leave to learn by their own folly
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
Sometimes that is the wisest thing to do.
2 people like this
@kepweng (16794)
• Waikoloa, Hawaii
31 Mar
im Afraid to say that at a friend she might be Angry
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
Just never know which is the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (56022)
• Philippines
31 Mar
as a friend, it is our responsibility to enlighten our friends about what is wrong with their lives; a lovelife for example. but for me, i can give my pieces of advice, and let my friend decide what is better for her.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
Yes indeed - the final decision would be hers.
2 people like this
@allknowing (66793)
• India
31 Mar
On the contrary she should have got back to you on bended knees
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
I would have comforted her - not overdo the " I told you so" bit.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (9409)
• Canada
30 Mar
The truth hurts and some friends don't like to hear it and may og on the defensive.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
It isn't easy facing up to some things, especially matters of the heart.
2 people like this
@Icydoll (22590)
• India
30 Mar
I'm not afraid of giving advice to friends..it's our responsibility as a friend to let him/her in a right path..I just say what I know but it's upto them to take it or not.i have adviced one of my friend too in the same way you did...it's her suffering now...but she still talks with me.our friendship is same :)
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
She is a real friend.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (68403)
• Roseburg, Oregon
30 Mar
I believe in being honest and if being honest costs a friend that is ok.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
When you care about a friend , you wish that friend the best , so it is sad when a bit of advice is taken the wrong way.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (109908)
• United States
30 Mar
I have learned over time that giving advice when it has not been solicited never works out very well.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
31 Mar
Even if the person is a good friend.
2 people like this
@dya80dya (3789)
• Romania
30 Mar
No, I never lost a friend because I told him or her the truth. I didn't talk with that person for 1 year ( when I told her the truth). But after 1 year we became friends again. This is a good way to see who are our real friends.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
You are perfectly right - it is easy to see then who is a real friend.
1 person likes this
@aureliah (16873)
30 Mar
You can lose some friends for speaking the truth but if they are really good friends, they come back at some point
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
That's what I am thinking too.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (53662)
• United States
30 Mar
OH! when it comes to love I do not say a word! Even if they split up because more than not I have seen them go right back to those scum bags. I told one friend she needed to clean her kids better than she did, she never washed the sticky off their hands, I think she got mad but she let it go and started wiping them off more.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
Looks like it is best to keep out of a person's love life.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (97571)
• Chile
30 Mar
I suppose that it depends in part on how you say it. But Most people donĀ“t want free advise. So wait until they ask for it.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
I suppose so - but I simply told her what I knew. Well - you win some, you lose some.
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (33122)
• Baguio, Philippines
30 Mar
If I were you I would do the same. I don't want to lose a friend but I don't want to see him or her go to the wrong path.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (38813)
30 Mar
I had her best interest at heart.
2 people like this