What To Do? My Son Shows Interests on Girly stuffs.

Philippines
March 31, 2018 2:32am CST
I don`t know if this is right. But I think your opinion on this will surely help me open my mind on this matter. I have an 8 year old son who is interested in girly stuffs. When he was so much younger, he used to joke around wearing my make up. Of course, I responded negatively to it. When he went to school for the first time, he likes playing with girls. I thought it`s okay since they are kids. Now that he is on second grade, he participates in the school`s dancing program. He doesn't want me to caught him dancing.I thought maybe because he knows that I don't want him to suffer from asthma since he is asthmatic. But one day, my sister went to school to fetch him. She secretly hid and took a video of him dancing. When they got home, my sister let me watch the video. Yes, I am happy and proud that he is the leader of their group but what concerns me was how the way he dances. He flaunts his moves like a girl! Of course, I didn't want him to feel so bad about it. He is just a young child. But I don't want him to grow up having a hard time and confused with his identity. So, what am I gonna do with him acting like a girl? Should I confront him about it or is it too early? I really don't know what to do... My family laughs at me about it but I am a bit concerned.
4 people like this
10 responses
@Bluedoll (17078)
• Canada
31 Mar
Who knows where his interests might lead him to. In my country some people have excelled in figure skating. Some figure skaters are strong while others show the world how artistic they can be. Still other skaters put their energy to hockey skating and I notice now that women hockey teams are becoming very popular as well. If it was me I wouldn't confront but celebrate any artistic achievement or interest. What would concern me is a love one hiding what they want to do from me.
3 people like this
• Philippines
31 Mar
now that someone mentioned it... yes, he is fond of watching figure skating :) and no, i don`t want him to hide his true identity from me. i want to be the first one to accept who he chooses to be :)
@Bluedoll (17078)
• Canada
31 Mar
@MrsPumpkins There was some people I noticed where I live that had a son that was really timid. The father thought he would toughen him up to be a man in a way that the father viewed men? He put the boy into karate classes and tried to get him to play sports more. It was not my place to say anything. But I always thought who knows if that little boy would become a fine doctor with hands that would do wonders or a male nurse that would help so many people. I know he wanted to mold his son into something he thought was the way men should be but at what cost? I don't know everything and today it is so complicated but I know love finds a way. You are so lucky to have a little boy you can love.
2 people like this
@owlwings (38851)
• Cambridge, England
31 Mar
My advice would be to let him be himself. You will do him more harm in the long run by trying to force him into the mould of what you think a boy should be like. If he enjoys dancing and moving his body, there's nothing really wrong in that and if he is dancing 'like a girl', he's probably just copying what he sees others doing because it looks and feels good.
3 people like this
@nomus24g (21349)
• India
31 Mar
I think its normal for a kid to imitate elders...here he is imitating you... It is often seen that a young boy with elder sister, has some bit of girly characters embedded in them...like the color they prefer, the way they react etc etc. Same is also the case with a young girl with elder brother, she would imbibe some bit of masculinity in her character... I guess, let your son grow up normally and don't read too much into his preferences...as he grows up, things will fall in place...may be his friends circle is full of girls...
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Mar
yeah, i guess you are right. i think he was just imitating me. and since he is surrounded with girls and no father figure to look up to, i think it would be normal for him that he imitate us :)
1 person likes this
@nomus24g (21349)
• India
31 Mar
@MrsPumpkins may be more boys in his friend circle might change the scenario slowly...
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
31 Mar
What is wrong with that and why do you fear it so much? He is too young and it's usually us who question their gender by putting gender on things like the clothes they wear, the color, the toys. When in fact there are no gender on things. When my son was young he was fascinated when I put on makeup. I never discouraged with that. In fact he told me to put makeup on his eyes to which I did. I wasn't encouraging him to become gay because there's simply nothing wrong with a child being curious. But if I acted negatively, that would have stirred something that might psychologically affect him. IN fact my son has a photo of wearing a makeup and a dress and same with my brother when he was young. Now he is 14 and he's not showing any signs of having any gender issues or confusion. And my brother is married with two sons. My advice is for you to stop being concerned and never get angry when he gets interested in girly stuff. And no matter how he turns out, never forget that he is your own child.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Mar
maybe because i focused too much on what other parents' (at school) opinion about my son. thatnk`s for the advice.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
31 Mar
@MrsPumpkins you should never care what other people say about your son. It’s your own child. Not theirs. You are responsible for mounding him into whoever he will become someday and not them. Don’t deprive him of his joy just because of what others say or because of a misconception.
@MALUSE (37790)
• Germany
31 Mar
I'm sure by forcing him to behave in a certain way you'll make him unhappy in the long run. Is there a child psychologist nearby you can consult?
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Mar
hi ma`am. is that really necessary? i mean, do i have to consult a child psychologist this time?
@MALUSE (37790)
• Germany
31 Mar
@MrsPumpkins You don't have to do anything. It was just an idea.
• St. George, Bermuda
31 Mar
Good Morning I would be concerned about this too I have 1 question for you is his farther in the picture does he have a good male role model in life My personal views on this if boys do not have strong male leaders in there life they will act feminine and look for love and acceptance in another boy or man to compensate for the Father they never had in life is this the case here was just wondering.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Mar
Hi ma`am. I value your opinion on this. You are right, my husband was with us for 12 years but he was not a good model for my children. We occasionally spend time on my parent`s house. My mother and father is there. But I still think my father`s presence is not enough. However, I don`t know how to deal with this in the future. I am sad thinking about it.
2 people like this
@maezee (31497)
• United States
31 Mar
I think you should let him be himself. It might seem strange to you but if thats what he likes then thats what he likes. I wouldnt make him feel ashamed about being himself.
2 people like this
@elanalove (645)
31 Mar
Everyone has right to do whatever they want until it harms other ...so be relax,,
1 person likes this
@rheicel (7316)
• Philippines
4 Apr
Just let him do what makes him happy. I think you must not worried about his identity instead guide him how to be a good and better person.
@Berrygal (2414)
31 Mar
I think he will outgrow that, he is still very young