Is that love?

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@Kandae11 (40402)
April 11, 2018 4:16pm CST
I wonder how many women harbor a secret desire to be tied up or dominated by their partner. Before the movie "fifty Shades Of Grey" hit the cinemas in 2015, there were many demonstrations from various women's groups hoping to have it banned. Not only were their efforts futile, but the movie drew large crowds including women in droves - and sales for duct tape and other paraphernalia used in the film rose dramatically. It should also be noted that the movie was directed by a woman - and based on a novel written by a woman. Did you see the movie? Was it much ado about nothing? Can any form of abuse be a part of love?
50 people like this
46 responses
@DianneN (82678)
• United States
11 Apr
I refuse to see the movies, but did read the books. To be honest, I enjoyed all three, but would never let myself be abused like that. It takes two to tango.
10 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
Some say the movie was boring, and the books are more entertaining. Yes - it does take two to tango.
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
@DianneN Okay. I see.
2 people like this
@DianneN (82678)
• United States
11 Apr
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (113475)
• United States
11 Apr
I did not see the movie. I think love has nothing to do with that form of abuse.
7 people like this
@Icydoll (23596)
• India
11 Apr
It's my opinion too Deborah..
5 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
People have strange tastes it would seem.
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (12377)
• China
12 Apr
I agree with you, friend.
2 people like this
@just4him (124505)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Apr
I've never seen the movie, and don't plan on it. I don't approve of abuse of any type and that kind is insane.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
People do get up to a lot of weird stuff.
1 person likes this
@just4him (124505)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Apr
@Kandae11 Yes, they do.
@amadeo (70842)
• United States
11 Apr
I try to see this movie but shut it off.this is from the younger generationn What ever happen to Mae West
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
I agree - those old movies are classics - and I think the stars back then were better looking.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (13333)
• Italy
11 Apr
I'm not a psychologist or an anthropologist, but many women are into that, for several reasons. The movie was boring, and I didn't read the book. I asked a classmate, who was reading the book, what it was about, she said "go buy it". That made me angry, and I wouldn't ever buy it. I only asked what the topic was, ugh. I saw a similarity with Twilight and The Beauty and the Beast (Disney's), when it comes to the plot. There's a weird guy that frightens most people, but a girl thinks he's simply misunderstood, falls in love and tries to "rescue him from the darkness" or whatever. And again, that's something many women enjoy as well. I don't know if it was abuse, I believe it was manipulation. Anastasia was in love, and she accepted to play the submissive role. She knew nothing about it, but accepted because she didn't want to lose Mr Grey. However, she ended up enjoying some of the games. But I don't know much about the story anyway. I fell asleep at some point, during the movie.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
Well said. I didn't watch the movie - but I do know that some women and men are into bondage type behavior - all in the name of love.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (171600)
• Switzerland
12 Apr
I have seen the movie and I found it extremely boring. I would never let a man abuse me.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
Many have said that the movie is boring.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (171600)
• Switzerland
12 Apr
@Kandae11 I bought the DVD, I had to stop the movie and continue the day after, it made me sleep.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
@LadyDuck Then I guess it was - much ado about nothing.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (20725)
• India
11 Apr
I don't have faintest idea about the movie! But I think it is not possible to have abuse be a part in love! As far as I am concerned its understanding, exchange of mutual respect and emotions together with feelings that can make a love successful one! Thanks @Kandae11!
2 people like this
@sabtraversa (13333)
• Italy
11 Apr
@AKRao24 Exactly, abuse (and manipulation) shows lack of respect, that goes against the concept of love. Unfortunately, the insecurities of people can create jealousy and possessiveness, some see them as a demonstration of love, but they go a little too far when respect is challenged. It's really hard to have a pure love, some negative emotions are always likely to pop up.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
I agree with your thoughts. @AKRao24
2 people like this
@AKRao24 (20725)
• India
11 Apr
@sabtraversa , I fully agree with your views and respect them dear friend! God bless!
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (17867)
• Fairfield, Texas
12 Apr
Definitely would not have wanted to see it; although my husband at the time probably sure would have @Kandae11 .
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
I doubt if women who have been treated roughly by men (and I don't mean play rough) would want to watch this movie - I won't.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (17867)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Apr
@Kandae11 Yeah, no kidding. I don't want to remember mine actually raping me.
@jaboUK (54877)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr
I think that anything people do in private is fine, as long as both partners enjoy it equally. Personally I would run a mile from that sort of thing.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
I would run too.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39631)
• United States
12 Apr
I have not seen the movie nor read the books but as long as both parties agree, who am I to tell them what is acceptable.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
If both parties agree of course. What they do when they are together is their business.
2 people like this
@epiffanie (10408)
• Australia
12 Apr
Wow! really? the sales of duct tapes? .. I haven't seen the movie.. But I have the books because I was curious about the fuss .. It's like 4 years now that I have the books but haven't read it yet .. LOL! .. Now I have to go and find where they are ..
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
Yes indeed, the hardware stores did brisk business with the sale of duct tape and rope among other things.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (130708)
• Bunbury, Australia
12 Apr
I didn't see the movie or read the book. After hearing so much about it I decided I didn't want to.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
I read the reviews - and neither the book or the movie would be my cup of tea.
2 people like this
@Bullshark (709)
• Netherlands
12 Apr
No, I haven't seen it. It's not Romeo's kind of movie...
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
That's nice to know.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
13 Apr
@Kandae11 Romeo loves watching romcoms...
@Kandae11 (40402)
13 Apr
@Bullshark What would that be?
@LeaPea2417 (21621)
• Toccoa, Georgia
12 Apr
I refused to see the movie and read the books. I think that bondage stuff is a perverted form of sexuality. I have never had that desire to do any of that. No, bondage is not love.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
Hard to understand why the movie was such a hit.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (21621)
• Toccoa, Georgia
12 Apr
@Kandae11 I don't understand the popularity of it.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
@porwest That's quite true - otherwise the movie would have bombed. And not forgetting the increase in sales of duct tape, rope and other stuff used in the movie. And two sequels following soon after.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (31707)
• Canada
12 Apr
I did not see the movie nor do I want to. Not my kind of movie.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
Not my kind of show either.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (31707)
• Canada
12 Apr
@Kandae11 "Can any form of abuse be a part of love?" I personally don't think so. I think it is a sick mind that views abuse as love.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
@1hopefulman It is amazing the kind of things that turn people on.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100495)
• Chile
11 Apr
I have heard but not read or watched the book and movie. I think that there are all sorts of people in this world. There are men who want to be dominated too.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
Yes indeed, From what I have read it would seem that more men are into it than women.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100495)
• Chile
13 Apr
@Kandae11 I don´t trust statistics in those subjects. People don´t tell. And I´m not much interested.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
13 Apr
@marguicha You are correct - people don't tell . And they don't have to - it is their business.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
11 Apr
No, I havent because I am not thrilles with the story. People become oblivious of the fact that abuse is never okay. We were conditioned to believe that these abuses are okay. This is money and they profit out of it.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
It was such a big hit - they decided to make two more.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
12 Apr
@Kandae11 yes, thats right. But I still would not watch it.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
@mlgen1037 Neither would I.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (136010)
• United States
11 Apr
I saw all of the movies and I feel a little different. But I won't bother explaining.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
Yes, I read that two sequels came out -- Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. How did the movies make you feel?
@sharon6345 (136010)
• United States
11 Apr
@Kandae11 There were things I could not manage but the last one has a few parts i liked. I tried to get b to watch it but he refuses.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
11 Apr
@sharon6345 Maybe it is just not his thing.
@nela13 (7744)
• Portugal
12 Apr
It is just a movie and a story, don't know why there were women's groups trying to ban it from the cinema. I read the first book but I couldn't finish it as it wasn't my style.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
Their efforts were uncessful - and two sequels were made.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (7744)
• Portugal
12 Apr
@Kandae11 when will the third movie be on theatres?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
12 Apr
@nela13 Not sure - sometime this year I suppose.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19111)
• United States
14 Apr
Oh this is funny, you're not going to believe this but I'm watching "Fifty Shades Darker" as we speak. I don't think that the relationship between the 2 main characters, Christian and Anastasia is a healthy one, but I do think Domination and submission can be part of a healthy relationship, as long as boundaries are respected and communication is constant, with no effort of manipulation. Hypothetically speaking I would think it would be most fun to be the sort of person who likes both ;-)
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (40402)
14 Apr
Some say the movie was boring - is Fifty Shades Darker any better? Well, it is their business, couples who are in agreement can choose how they wish to be stimulated.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (19111)
• United States
16 Apr
@Kandae11 I actually liked "Fifty Shades Darker" moreso. There is a mystery story in there along with all of the, ah.... other... content .... and "Darker" focused more on the mystery. :-)
1 person likes this