How do you react when told “NO”?

@Shiva49 That is so true about work place. Usually, the employers held an attitude, since you are unmarried and have no kids, you don't need the monies. That was horrible! I was wearing footwear with holes and making excuses for limiting myself to few clothes which were also torn at times, saying I don't have time.

@vandana7 That is unfair. Your work should reward your pay and not your needs. Another issue is being taken for granted by others. During school holidays those with children think they have a right to take leave for holidays etc without being considerate to those who have none - siva

Yes, in personal lives obligations come into play. I never ask for any favours either. I ask God for just rewards, or rather, I involve him in my life constantly and so there is no disconnect! I follow non-dualism. However, I had to be flexible when it came to the workplace. Increment and promotion of staff create a tricky situation. If I don't get what they had desired, my staff can feel I didn't try enough when they compare themselves to others from other departments. I never enjoyed such predicaments - siva

@Shiva49 My career was a success story until we had a boss who changed his mind more often than women changed clothes. I resigned and started my garden designing business.

@allknowing I had few who were seat warmers and "yes men". One lady I was asked to help to get her accounts in order was suspicious of everyone and even played one against another! If I write a book about the goings-on and the politics involved it would be a best seller! Another showed his true colours after four years when I had set the company on a firm footing. However, I learned a lot from few, especially one, who seemed to have solutions to every problem. I emulated him adding a smiling countenance which proved the icing on the cake - siva

It happens within a family. Wife loses many a battle but wins the war in the end! I do not recall having made any demand on my parents when I was younger but when I started working I had to make requests to my employers. My approach was always to be accommodative to accept a "no" without rancour. My general outlook has been to do my best and accept whatever comes my way. Most times I got more than what had bargained for! siva

Thanks for the response. I have seen some persisting with their requests, even demands, but for me, it is a no-go. I make sure my request is justified and if denied I will analyze the reason. Then I will plan ahead - siva

@Shiva49 , In fact I analyze the situation before hand and see all the negative points what my proposal have and am I in a position to explain them in case the person with whom I would be interacting will ask me to explain! after weighing pros and cons if I feel that I see more negatives then i prefer to postpone my proposal! Thanks!

@AKRao24 That is my approach too; put oneself in other's shoes - siva

@Shiva49 Yes, no one should stop us, but unfortunately, we often stop ourselves. Sometimes, we say no to ourselves, and often we do not even hear ourselves saying it. I know for one that I have not realized my own true potential as yet. I can blame upbringing, culture, the demographics of the society I live in, or perhaps really it is that somewhere in my past, I have said "no" for some reason to myself. Perhaps, I am afraid of my own reaching of my own potential, and then staying at that realised potential, level might be a big effort for me then too...LOL...maybe it's just way too hard for me to even contemplate, or want to put out that type of sustained effort to realise a potential, that might or might not really be my own anyway. I was told when I was only ten years old that I would make a good lawyer, for example. Was that seen as a potential for me then, or somebody else's assessment of me, which may well have been very wrong indeed?

@innertalks I think I reached my true potential in the sense I knew when to stop and opt for balance in life. When it came to achieving more in terms of material rewards, I punched below my weight. That was because I saw others running from pillar to post all their lives and then what they accumulated proved of no value to them. They had overlooked what really was of lasting value like family relationships. My family background and upbringing played a part too. What they ingrained in me was a stable job was all that mattered - that is work for others! I couldn't come out of that shell, mindset, on time. However, I have no complaints as some of my friends say since they run their own concerns they cannot retire and they tell that with a sense of pride, even looking down on those like me. They may think it is a case of sour grapes if I say I enjoy my free time in retirement - siva

That is the way forward. Ponder about the reason but no one should stop us from realizing our true potential - siva

@Shiva49 That's the way to do it!

That is better than saying NO first and then looking for an explanation! In fact, I have never said no to my wife either, and my son, but offer my views to consider. They do change their views at times - siva

My friend said others may say no first but later acquiesce to some of his requests/demands. I am diametrically opposite and rather give than take. I had to ask on my staff's behalf so that they get rewarded - siva

@Shiva49

That is a mature and a realistic approach to maintaining our sanity and equilibrium. Learn to let go is the way forward - siva

Yeah, when one door closes many open. We should not be weighed down by a "no" by another human! That should spur us to reach higher like a challenge thrown at us to prove our mettle - siva

I can understand. We are human and will feel the disappointment that we are unfairly treated - siva

Though in personal lives it works, at the workplace we have to deal with colleagues and senior staff. We have to interact, make requests, and some can be curt or even rude while refusing our requests - siva

@Shiva49 I've been like this since I was a kid. I never asked my parents for anything if they didn't give it to me themselves.