A Good Thing??
@cintol (11261)
United States
April 21, 2018 2:25pm CST
Well half of it is, but I am sad for the rest. My daughter and grand daughter are moving to Texas to be by us and that is such a good thing, I have missed them so much and will now have a little bit of my family here for holidays and such.
The bad part is why they are moving. My daughter just found out that her fiancee of 7 yrs was cheating on her, when she found out he moved in with the girlfriend that night. She put 7 yrs in with him and my grand daughter called him daddy for those years, she is only 9.
She dealt with a lot from this guy as he had many issues, but she always tried to work them out and I am glad she is away from him as he got physical with her during one of his last episodes. My grand daughter was starting to become afraid to bring her friends over because he might have an "episode". I told her I am glad he is gone and they can come here and have a fresh start and be with us now.
She realizes it is for the best too so YAY my daughter is coming.
Have you ever had someone out of a toxic relationship who kept trying until they saw the light for themselves?
46 people like this
44 responses
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
21 Apr 18
I am sorry to hear that, Cindy. But I guess the good part is that your daughter realized she deserves more. She has her daughter and that is all that matters.
Yes, myself. I used to stick with an ex-bf and all he did was use me for his selfish gain. Until I realized that I am too precious foe a prick like him.
4 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
22 Apr 18
@cintol Thank you, Cindy. I am grateful to have met my husband. And my ex-bf, he had married that girl who was obsessive of him. hahaha
3 people like this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
22 Apr 18
@mlgen1037 Thats great that you met a great guy and that girl can regret taking your ex lol Karma
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
26 Apr 18
I can't think of anyone I have personally known in a toxic relationship like this, my son was married to a nutcase but I encouraged him to marry her and it is a good thing he did, he was awarded custody of his son and if they hadn't married that might have become an issue. He is now happily married and has a woonderful life and a daughter.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
26 Apr 18
@cintol I am sure her soulmate is out there somewhere and let's just hope they find each other.
2 people like this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
26 Apr 18
@BelleStarr Yes, I hope they do, I want my grand daughter to know that not all men are like her dad and this last guy. He was there for her for 7 of her 9 yrs.
2 people like this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
23 Apr 18
@sallypup That would be awful to live with, this guy would move things from where she stored them, put things in different cupboards and tell her it should be in his spot instead. One day he got mad and threw the food out of the fridge all over the floor, opened boxes and threw the food away, dumped all the soda out in the sink. He just went nuts
1 person likes this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
4 Jun 18
Absolutely. My daughter was married 3 times and one of those marriages was to someone who was bipolar and mistreated the kids so bad. I found out about it and took things into my own hands. Luckily, both boys grew up to be wonderful boys.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
7 Jun 18
@ramapo17 Your lucky her friend told you about what was going on and you were brave to step in and help her. When I went through it I never told anyone because I was too afraid, but one day I got braver and packed my kids stuff, rented a UHaul and left.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
3 May 18
@ridingbet Children the matter what age will make mistakes, I still make them, but it does no good to scold them or say I told you so. Just be there and work it out with them is the best way.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
3 May 18
@cintol indeed. and that is the unconditional love of a mother to her children-accepting them even if they err.
1 person likes this
@popciclecold (35085)
• United States
7 Jun 18
Sometimes as long as they can't see it. She kept trying. But when she saw she let it go.
1 person likes this
@popciclecold (35085)
• United States
7 Jun 18
@cintol Yes it is, glad she will be close to you
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
2 Jun 18
yes I had a good friend trapped in a loveless affair for a long time - glad your daughter and grand-daughter are coming home now
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
4 Jun 18
@cintol hopefully it will be a lovely family reunion
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40497)
• United States
13 Jun 18
I see now why your daughter and granddaughter have moved back home with you. It's so sad when a person doesn't treat someone right, especially when it's our babies. It's never easy when two households combine, but it's so good they can be where they're loved.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40497)
• United States
14 Jun 18
@cintol Spoken with love like a true mama and grandma. We did the same for our daughter many years ago. She and her baby girl came to live with us for a while until she could make it on her own for them. We loved having them close and safe.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
14 Jun 18
@1creekgirl Its one of those maternal instincts that just kicks in no matter what. I love having mine as well 
We are good parents aren't we coz I know a few who aren't anywhere near where we are.
We are good parents aren't we coz I know a few who aren't anywhere near where we are.1 person likes this
@just4him (305965)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Apr 18
I'm glad she's away from him. I haven't had a toxic relationship, but my older son is toxic. I just hope he's settled down with his new girlfriend, who is also going to have his baby. He's also the one who disowned me early last month.
1 person likes this
@Iam_jauntyjen (4951)
•
29 Apr 18
A friend of mine found out that her hubby has an affair with a vocalist in a band where her husband was a drummer. She moved back to her parents' house.That time their daugher ,who is my goddaughter was only three years old. Few months later, my friend's hubby,realized his mistakes apologized to my friend and eventually they got back together.
Fast forward 2014, her hubby had another affair again with a vocalist .this time a different woman, in his band.My friend contacted me to say that she would leave her husband and she would start anew AGAIN.This time I found out that his husband impregnated his mistress a year after my friend had given birth to their second child. So the Kid's are almost same age.Now, 2018 my friend and her husband reconciled AGAIN
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
30 Apr 18
Is she crazy, that reminds me of the old say " Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" Can't believe she went back especially when she and the other woman were both pregnant at the same time. OH NO, he would have been kicked to the curb and left on his own because he will do it again. No conscience on that man at all evidently, I feel sorry for the kids, they are in for a world of hurt down the road. Has she ever told you why she took him back again?
My daughter just found out that her ex and his new girlfriend are already fighting and she has asked him to move out as well. My daughter laughed and said she is not taking him back in. She even made him file a Quit Claim deed to take his name off their home and she is putting it on the market next week. She won't take him back EVER!
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
30 Apr 18
@Iam_jauntyjen Are you kidding?? Why would she want to take care of her and your God daughter wanted to push her down the escalator? Oh wow, I can understand how she could feel like that after all her dad had put them through. So sad
1 person likes this
@Iam_jauntyjen (4951)
•
30 Apr 18
@cintol i had also heard from my goddaughter that my friend even took care of the illigitimate child before for two weeks. Guess what? My goddaughter who was 13 years old at that time told me that she wanted to push the other woman down the escalator.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
22 Apr 18
Thank you Hanni, I am sorry you too had to experience that lifestyle, so glad you are out of that. Thank you, I am excited that they have decided to move here and be with us, I have missed them so much and will be grateful to have them back.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
22 Apr 18
Oh dear. I see what you mean about mixed feelings there.
It sounds like she treated him way better than he deserved. It's sad he got physical with her. And good he's gone now - it wouldn't have been good for granddaughter to think that is how people in a relationship act to each other.
And while it is too bad it had to go that way, you're right, at least this will be a fresh start and you'll be close again
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
22 Apr 18
Yes Faye, that is how I feel, I want them both to be safe and not have to live in a hostile home where they have to be afraid. My grand daughters real dad is like that and he is a mess, thats why this one has been so good for her up until last year. She is in counseling and I think moving here close to grandma again will be good for them both.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
24 Apr 18
@FayeHazel I am just hoping that we can show her that real men are not like this, I don't want her growing up to think this is what all men are or this is the kind of man she is supposed to have. I want her to be strong enough to find a good man when her time comes.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
24 Apr 18
@cintol Oh that is so sad... that your daughter's both real dad and this current guy have been abusive. I wonder why it is such a scourge in today's society.
Happy she's in counseling too
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34343)
•
22 May 18
Getting physical is an unacceptable issue anytime. It is a shame your daughter invested so much of her time in someone who ultimately could not be trusted. Lack of honesty and communication are traits you want in a relationship. A change of scenery and a mother's love will go far in healing her heart.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169882)
• United States
5 May 18
Sad for the circumstances, but hopefully it will work out for the best. Sometimes people know intellectually and emotionally they need to make a change, but circumstances don't always make it easy..sometimes it seems impossible,,but it never truly is.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
6 May 18
Yes, she knows now it is all for the best and she and my grand daughter are looking forward to being here and starting over with new lives. She has tried over and over with him, she didn't want to lose her family, but she sees now that is is not impossible to move forward without him. They are moving June 9, I am excited
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
6 May 18
@snowy22315 I know, I can't wait. She put her house on the market and had an offer above asking before she even had any showings.
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 May 18
I'm so sorry to hear this but t least they will have your support now. Children are very adaptible and the little one will be ok. My granddaughter had had a terrible time with her parents but despite this she is still a happy child.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
14 May 18
@cintol Every cloud has a silver lining and all that. I'm sure getting away from that cheat will be good for them.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
14 May 18
@sprite1950 Yes it does and I know they will find it once they get here.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
22 Apr 18
She is selling her town home in Colorado and is looking for a home to buy here, if she can't find one right away then she will live with us until the time comes she can buy another home. I will be glad to have them with me again. All of my kids have returned home to live with us over the years due to one thing or another and I too am glad we can help them. I bet your daughter is glad she also has you to turn too in these times. Its tough for marriages out there these days. I wish her well.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118421)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Apr 18
I'm glad they were able to get away from a very negative situation, but sad to hear that 7 years of relationship is down the drain just like that. I hope your daughter takes the opportunity in this fresh start to find a much better relationship.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118421)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Apr 18
@cintol Sometimes it's best to take a break from relationships, just to give yourself time to recharge and heal emotionally.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
22 Apr 18
@moffittjc Yes it is, my break was over 20 yrs for lack of trust, I hope hers isn't that long but if its what she needs, it will be up to her.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205609)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Apr 18
Cheating and beating? I'm glad she had the strength to move on. Yes, my last long-term relationship was like that. My girlfriend had a disorder called "borderline personality disorder." I was always trying to "save her," but lost a part of my sense self in doing so.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
17 May 18
@TheHorse It was his company BBQ, the girl works for him and my daughter didn't go because she had to work so he took my grand daughter. She said the girl was all over him and sitting next to her playing with hair before she moved over to her daddy and started touching him. She didn't know it was the same girl until he changed his fb picture and they saw her in it. Then my grand daughter recognized her, he's not the brightest crayon in the box.
@cintol (11261)
• United States
27 Apr 18
I understand, I think thats what my daughter has been trying to do but its not going to work. I told her let the new girl have that honor if she wants him so bad. She just found out that he took my grand daughter to a BBQ with this girl, my daughter is on the war path now
1 person likes this
