Photo Opportunity

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Those of you who have a history of following me, damn well stop it! It's called stalking and it's illegal. But of course I jest. Those of you who have read my ramblings over the years may be familiar with the life of Brigadier Louis St. John Mortimer who's memoirs I've been fortunate enough to read. For the uninitiated lucky enough not to have known me for too long, the good Brigadier spent much of his career working for the Bureau of Comedy Assassinations where his main role was providing the inspiration for ever more hilarious methods by which to dispatch world leaders who were getting ideas above their station. In a startling discovery, a house-clearance company, commissioned to clear out the deceased Brigadier's home, seems to have come across the sketches that were the last idea to come from his brilliant mind. It is believed that they are the plans for the comedic demise of non other than Donald Trump's good mate Vladimir Putin. The sketches show a small table with a bottle of vodka on it next to a sign bearing the words "Queue here for homoerotic photo opportunity on horseback. Shirt optional. Free vodka while you wait." The vodka bottle is linked by means of an elaborate pulley system to a 10 ton jar of caviar hovering 100 feet above the table which, when the vodka bottle is lifted, will plummet earthward and flatten the would-be photographic subject. One can only hope these ingenious sketches fall into the right hands!!