Some People Just Cannot Retire!
@DeborahDiane (40053)
Laguna Woods, California
May 10, 2018 10:46pm CST
When I retired four years ago, I had already been living in an Over-55 community for over 10 years. As a result, my transition to retirement was very easy. For some of my friends who do not live in a retirement community, however, they have found retirement very difficult.
Below is a rough description of a conversation I recently had a few days ago with a friend who retired six months ago from a very successful job where she supervised dozens of other employees. She and her husband have both said that she has been very bored and discontented since she retired.
Friend: I am so bored with retirement.
Then she asked me: What do you do all day?
Me: I go for a walk every morning and then take yoga classes or do other things like that.
Friend: I walk my dog, but I don't do anything all day after that.
Me: There's a great senior center just two blocks from you and your house is on a golf course. Why don't you sign up for yoga or take golf classes?
Friend: I like the view, but I don't want to play golf, and I don't like yoga.
Me: The local community college has hundreds of classes you could take. Why not sign up for one? I take classes from them.
Friend: No, I don't think so.
Me: You could volunteer ...
Friend: Yeah, I'll think about that.
Me: Let's go to lunch sometime.
Friend: Sounds great. I'll call you sometime to set it up.
(I still haven't heard about lunch plans.)
I hope she adjusts to retirement one of these days. She seems so bored, but she doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I just don't understand that. She's in good health, and this should be the best time of her life!
15 people like this
19 responses
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
11 May 18
I find it quite sad when some people seem to be defined by their job and are completely incapable of enjoying anything outside that.
I'm planning on retiring Christmas 2019, a few months before my 55th birthday. I won't be bored.
As well as maintaining my already hectic exercise schedule I'll be adding more swimming and some yoga classes. I have a number of subjects I'd like to study via online courses and wouldn't mind devoting more time to learn to play guitar. Then there's the novels I've been promising myself I'll write and a foreign language I'd like to learn!!
Bored people are actually boring people!!
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@WorDazza - I'm so glad you have lots of plans for after retirement. I know you'll be much happier because of it. I agree when you say that bored people are boring people. I find it hard to talk to them, because they have so little going on in their lives.
@Hannihar (129418)
• Israel
11 May 18
@DeborahDiane
I don't ever think I can retire. I need to work to make money for my cat and myself.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@Hannihar - Your situation is very common. A large number of people in America are continuing to work after retirement. However, they often change to a job that interests them more later in life, and I think that can be a positive decision.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
14 May 18
@Hannihar - I am sure you will figure out the right thing for you. What do you think you might want to do?
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129418)
• Israel
13 May 18
@DeborahDiane
I thought I found what I want to do but now I am not sure and think I want to do something else.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118433)
• Gainesville, Florida
11 May 18
Retirement is a big change from what people have been used to their entire life. It's a hard adjustment for many. I have been somewhat of a workaholic my whole life, so I will have to make a big adjustment in retirement. But it's not hard to find structured activity, if you just look for it. Like you said, their is an abundance of things to do in retirement, if you open your mind to it. I'm already making my retirement bucket list of fun things I want to do when I retire. I love the great outdoors, so I plan to spend much of my retirement exploring everything around my community.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118433)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 May 18
@DeborahDiane The key is that she has to want to get out and do all these wonderful things that are available to her. I hope she wises up soon and discovers that there is so much more to life after work life ends.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@moffittjc - Jeff, that is a great idea to have a retirement bucket list. I think it helped me that I already lived in a retirement community with plenty of choices in activities. I was signing up for things within a week of retirement. My friend could be doing more to keep busy and have fun. I used to live very close to where she lives now, and I know the recreation department in her town has a large number of activities available. She just needs to get out and start trying things.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
14 May 18
@moffittjc - I agree! I hope she will figure that out soon. She is wasting some of the best years of her life!
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
11 May 18
There is not enough time in this life to do everything! I am busy just fine in retirement. There's always something to do and being lazy can be fun.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@JohnRoberts - I feel the same way. I also agree that being lazy can be fun. I allow myself time to do that, as well. What makes me sad is when someone complains about being bored in retirement, but doesn't seem to want to do anything at all about it.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34350)
•
11 May 18
Life is what you make of it whether in retirement or not...
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@dgobucks226 - Oh, I love this! I agree that life is what we make of it. I hope she figures that out!
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
14 May 18
@dgobucks226 - Yes, it is the perfect quote!
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34350)
•
13 May 18
@DeborahDiane You welcome. The quote made so much sense to me after reading your post 
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
15 May 18
The key to retirement and a happy retirement is having a hobby or two. There have been guys I have known who even said of they won the lottery they would not retire. It is BECAUSE they do not have a hobby. I have several, so any time and any retirement, I'd do just fine and would enjoy the hell out of it.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 May 18
@porwest - You are absolutely right! I have several hobbies and a number of friends, so I did not have a problem with retirement. That is the secret!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
22 May 18
@porwest - It is very unhealthy for senior citizens to be bored. Research shows that it can shorten their lives.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
21 May 18
@DeborahDiane Exactly. I can see someone being bored if they have nothing to occupy their time.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
31 May 18
@id_peace - I agree! She is bored, but refuses to do anything about it.
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
13 May 18
@DeborahDiane I am quite sure that I am right on this one.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 May 18
@marlina - I think you are probably right. She is a smart lady. Once she gets bored enough, she will figure something out!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457973)
• Switzerland
12 May 18
@DeborahDiane This is the problem with some people, they are bored, but they refuse to do anything we suggest.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 May 18
@LadyDuck - Yes, I agree. I hope she figures out something she likes to do. Not only will she be happier, but she will be more interesting to talk with because she will be doing something interesting with her time.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@LadyDuck - I agree that some people are bored because they do not take any action that would keep them busy. My friend does need to start meeting more people and spending time with them.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (95082)
• Marion, Ohio
11 May 18
It can be hard for some people. Hope she starts getting out soon.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@wolfgirl569 - I hope my friend starts getting out soon, too. It isn't healthy for her to be bored and spending most of her day doing nothing.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@Plethos - I think it would be wonderful if she found some volunteer work to do. I think it would make her happier.
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13560)
• United States
11 May 18
@DeborahDiane - itll giver her a purpose.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
11 May 18
My parents are in their retirement to but they are still busy as a bee. A lot of going on with them. They said they want to be active and enjoy themselves. I am glad, Deborah, that this retirement transition is smooth for you.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@mlgen1037 - I'm glad that retirement has been smooth for your parents, too. It sounds like they are enjoying their lives.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
12 May 18
@DeborahDiane Thank you, Deborah. Yes, indeed. They have a huge project now - renovating their house. I cant wait for it to finish. So excited. 
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 May 18
@mlgen1037 - Oh, yes. If they are renovating a house, that can be a huge project. I hope they have fun with it.
1 person likes this
@ThinkGratitude (263)
• United States
11 May 18
I think sometimes people just want to complain, because they are happy with complaining. You gave your friend several great suggestions and instead of being excited about having the time to try new things she was just happier complaining about being bored. Maybe for the attention? I think it's really sad and I'm sure if she was working she would be complaining about her job. Some people are just never happy and that's really sad. I am looking forward to the day I can retire. I want to travel, take time to visit the people I don't have time to visit with now, take classes, read books, etc. I also want to volunteer for some of my favorite organizations.
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 May 18
@ThinkGratitude - I think you are exactly right. I am glad that you have plans for the day when you can retire. I am sure you will enjoy that phase of your life!
1 person likes this
@ThinkGratitude (263)
• United States
13 May 18
@DeborahDiane Thank you. I am really looking forward to that day.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
2 Jan 19
@Kugehw - They say it is very good for the brain to learn something new after you retire. I'm glad you are doing that! Stay in a good mood!
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@vandana7 - She was very busy before she retired. She had a very responsible job which involved being the boss over a number of other people. I think she is a bit in shock not to have so much responsibility now.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16533)
• China
11 May 18
It will take time for her to adjust to retirement.She should follow the lead of you and leads a very full life after retirement.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
Yes, it will take her time. I thought I would call her in a week or so and try to arrange a lunch date. She needs to start getting out more.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@andriaperry - Yes, travel would be good for her!
@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
11 May 18
Retirement is a different life situation and maybe your friend needs time to adopt this new lifestyle.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@anikoonline - Yes, I hope that in time she will adjust and start finding some fun things to do!
1 person likes this
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
11 May 18
My mother owned and operated a nursing home for many years. She retired after my dad passed. Her other passion was music, so when she retired from nursing and sold the nursing home, she spent more time on her music and performing at bluegrass festivals. She was constantly on the go until she passed away 4 years ago at the age of 70. 
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40053)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 May 18
@Starmaiden - I'm glad your mom found ways to stay active and happy. That is so important. We only get one shot at this life, so we should do everything we can to enjoy it.
1 person likes this
