Need advice
By Carmela
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
United States
June 12, 2018 6:55am CST
I need a bit of advice. First a little background. I have a rocky relationship with the pastor's wife after some drama last year. I'm trying to build our relationship and find it a scary situation.
I recently learned of know someone who can put decals on t-shirts and a design I want is of a dancer in honor of a friend who died of cancer last August. The pastor's wife can draw and so I asked her if she could do this and she said she'd loved to.
A few weeks later I asked her again, even saying that if she didn't feel led to do this that I would understand, but I want to know because I want to send the design out so the shirt will be done by August. She said that will draw it.
That was 2 weeks ago and I don't know how to ask her again without offending her. I don't know if she's too busy or had forgotten (even though I reminded her 2 weeks ago) but I do have someone who can draw this from fiver.
Any suggestions?
4 people like this
5 responses
@AmbiePam (85244)
• United States
12 Jun 18
I might just go up to her and say, okay, I'm ready for the design. And she'll say oh, I forgot. Then you could say ok, but I need them by such and such, because if I don't get them by this date I'll have to figure something else out. Or you could skip the part where you say I'm ready for it, and just tell her you have to have it by this date or you'll have to do something else. She's been given multiple warnings, and this would be a finite date. If you don't have it by that date you can get another design without mentioning it again. Heck, she might have forgotten again by then and she'll never remember she was asked. So maybe you can come up with a backup plan now in case Forgetful Pants doesn't come through.
Sorry if this isn't helpful, but I am so glad to see you here!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85244)
• United States
13 Jun 18
@Carmelanirel2 Oh good. Come by here more often. We miss you!
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
13 Jun 18
@AmbiePam I try, but remember the problems I had years ago with my husband? It has gotten worse and now there are what I would call sides. He has the church, I have people and evidence against him and the church and why I thought it best to not have this pastor do the drawing.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
13 Jun 18
Hi Ambie, something came up and I told her it is best I find someone else, so that is what I'\m going to do. She understood and I do have someone else in mind and will have this in motion soon.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69416)
• Germany
12 Jun 18
You can ask someone else to do the drawing for you. When the pastor's wife comes up with her design, you can thank her nicely and say nothing. If she asks you to see the finished t-shirt, you can tell her that you've already sent it to your friend.
This would be a pardonable white lie.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
12 Jun 18
Problem is, I think she also wants a t-shirt. but good plan. lol
@MALUSE (69416)
• Germany
12 Jun 18
@Carmelanirel2 Then there will be two t-shirts with two different designs and everybody will be happy.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
12 Jun 18
@MALUSE Actually, many people said they wanted one, but with 2 designs? I think that will also cost more.
I believe I am going to ask her one more time, and then go with someone else and if she says anything, I will remind her of the dates and times I asked her about it and that I needed the design sooner than she was getting it to me.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16521)
• China
13 Jun 18
Now that the pastor's wife promised to draw it for you,she should lose no time doing it.I think you had better have two strings to your bow and don't waste time on her,however keep in mind that don't let her see the finished T-shirt with other'design on it.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16521)
• China
14 Jun 18
@Carmelanirel2 Now that she is the type of person,you have to keep on the right side of her.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
13 Jun 18
She is an emotional woman, so I have to be careful in how I approach her. I did tell her I am finding someone else, but only because of an issue that made it better that she not do the drawing.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
12 Jun 18
Hi Carmela. That is a tough one. But you may confirm to her is she is still willing to draw but make sure to have a back-up plan in case she refuses this time or not do it at all.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
12 Jun 18
I do have a back plan and I reminded her once, so I should remind her again? I don't want to come off as nagging, because are friendship was trained last year.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
12 Jun 18
@Carmelanirel2 I understand. I am just thinking that she might remember it all of a sudden and asks you about it. Just a thought.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
13 Jun 18
@mlgen1037 I don't know, but something came up and so I told her that I feel it best to find someone else.
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