Is the message for me?
By vanny
@vandana7 (98701)
India
June 25, 2018 9:46am CST
I love my little sister...well sort of little sister. She was our neighbor's daughter.
Then bad blood came in between us....not us sisters, but the family.
She lost her son year before and last year I learned of it, and thanks to Pony, DJ, and DE ..I was able to bring myself to convey my condolences.
All I wanted to do was hug her, and but well...
Anyway...she was gracious and accepted it. That was huge because I had tried to contact her earlier and she had never responded.
And well, today her page reads "A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost". (Marion C. Garretty)
And follows it up with
"Be soft, Do not let the world make you hard, Do not let pain make you hate, Do not let bitterness steal your sweetness". (Kurt Vonnegut)
I had contacted her again, after the first time. But thereafter, I stopped. I fear being hurt ..there is too much water under the bridge ..for both of us. But I know there is love trapped in her heart as it is in mine.
As long as it is love, it is still a good thing, isn't it?
And may be the messages are deliberate...she knows I visit her profile...she wants to say something? Get in touch? Wish me something?
I don't know...but I am walking outta here. I can't go through emotional stuff. I have to focus on survival.
Just that..do you sometimes feel a message was there especially for you...even though you are not mentioned.
9 people like this
9 responses
@vandana7 (98701)
• India
25 Jun 18
The heart wants to say it is for me. Mind says, don't be silly...remember she did not keep in touch for well over 20 years...remember? And it says..if she wants to contact you...she knows your profile...she can contact you. May be I am honest about it...my heart is not.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
25 Jun 18
Hi Vanny. Why is it when we become adults, it is hard for us to be in good terms with others? When we want to say something but we are not doing anything. It is both frustrating and painful. I do that sometimes when for people I care about but stopped talking to them altogether. And there are times that I know it is for me. You have that strong sense.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98701)
• India
26 Jun 18
I don't know...I wish I had an answer to that. Do we become more foolish as we grow older or wiser? Seems foolish because when the mind separates from mundane, there is a different level where nothing matters and the realization that we are in some silly game. Then why the pain, anger, pride, or joy. Yes, yesterday it did feel that when she shared those quotes, she had me in her mind.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
26 Jun 18
@vandana7 It is good then but still she lets pride get in the way instead of telling you personally or giving your friendship a chance.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (73158)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
25 Jun 18
Yes, there have been times I have felt that way. Perhaps it is best to just let things be.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
25 Jun 18
I am sorry but I have to be the one to say " Assume nothing and question everything!"
BUT if you feel this message was left for you, then take it.
Let the past be the past and move forward.
2 people like this
@hillhjill (23664)
• United States
25 Jun 18
The message could be for you maybe she is just seeing on the down low and maybe you guys can move on from this and be close again.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98701)
• India
26 Jun 18
Feeling down is natural I suppose. This is about the period she possibly lost her son in 2016. I think when glass breaks, joining it to make it beautiful once more requires something as precious as gold. I am short of that amount of love in my heart for now. Life is too busy and too complicated for me at present. I am not likely to spare enough time, and when tired or frustrated, am likely to throw the bitterness at her unsuspecting self, and she might retaliate breaking the bonding for good, harboring hate? What is the point? We need to give each other enough time to go beyond our parents. As long as they are around, the dichotomy of emotions cannot help this bonding. If ever there is any future that is.
2 people like this
@hillhjill (23664)
• United States
26 Jun 18
@vandana7 It is a hard thing to do, but yes just give space with all this going on right now and if you guys are still friends after all this then good. But sometimes you just have to let a friend go and move on, that is what I did.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
29 Jun 18
*sigh* Yes, I have felt that messages posted anonymously in a place that others know I visit could be meant for me... I fear being hurt, so haven't ever checked to see if the message WAS for me or not.
I am the last one to urge you to contact someone who hurt you, but if you feel strongly enough that you want to tell her you still care, I don't see what she can do that you aren't already prepared for, hon. 
Hmmm... you know I don't use my Fb account, so am not sure where this message is that she might have left for you... Would it be possible for you to leave one similarly that says something like: 'Love still lives in my heart, but I am afraid to reach again.'
I really don't know. Honestly, I wouldn't be on her Fb page if the things that happened to you had happened to me. *shrug*
Hmmm... you know I don't use my Fb account, so am not sure where this message is that she might have left for you... Would it be possible for you to leave one similarly that says something like: 'Love still lives in my heart, but I am afraid to reach again.'
I really don't know. Honestly, I wouldn't be on her Fb page if the things that happened to you had happened to me. *shrug*1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
29 Jun 18
@vandana7 No, I didn't forget. I just worded my statement badly.
The last sentence in my response gives my true feelings on this matter. I don't want you to get hurt again.
1 person likes this
