What memories do you have

@GardenGerty (157027)
United States
July 13, 2018 8:12pm CST
Are you still making memories? I took my dad to eat at McDonalds and sat across the table from him and we talked. His memories are mostly scrambled, but with one clearly popping through every now and again. He is confused about where my brother is. Sometimes he believes Charlotte, his current wife, is our mom and my brother is his brother. He thought my sister that died, was his sister that died. Stirred in and among all of our talk I share memories with him, and he shares what is on his mind and what he remembers, and what he does not. And what he thinks he remembers. I have traveled with him today from the end of the great depression to today, to the future. He has paid for a funeral and plot already. He told me that one day he will see me in Heaven. As a child I was scared for him, he did not do any of the things that I was taught equated with being a Christian. He was a very good man, kind man, honest man, but had no interest in faith based life. He was in his fifties when that changed. Now he blesses meals, loves to go to worship, reminds me of heavenly goals and is still a kind, honest man. I love my dad. I hang on to memories.
19 people like this
17 responses
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
14 Jul 18
Just because he didn't live a faith based life doesn't mean he was a bad person. Just like just because someone goes to church means someone is going to heaven. Ive met some pretty big hypocrites at churches.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
What I was seeing, and feeling was with the eyes and knowledge a child has. A friend of mine in High School, while on her own spiritual journey decided that it was better to be in church with the hypocrites than in hell with them--her words, not mine.
@RasmaSandra (72494)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Jul 18
Memories are the best things we have getting through life. I am right now dealing with some much too powerful memories like July 19 would have been my late husbands birthday and last year he was still with me etc.,
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Yes, those pieces of memories, and dates haunt us. They sneak up and wring at our heart.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27427)
• India
14 Jul 18
Yes, with time we tend to change for good! I appreciate your concern and care about your father dear friend! This is part and parcel of everyone's life cycle! Stay blessed and have a great time! A sincerely wish best of luck to your loving father!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
This is a time of tying up loose ends, and yes, it is a natural part of the cycle of life. I feel fortunate to have always known my parents loved me.
1 person likes this
@AKRao24 (27427)
• India
14 Jul 18
@GardenGerty , That is so true, you should be really happy about that! Stay blessed!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130088)
• India
14 Jul 18
If you are talking about memories of my father I have many. I lost him when I was 10 years old. When I was admitted to school I was the youngest in the family - my brother landed later exactly after 9 months. Being the last in the family at that time I was pampered specially by my father. On the first day of school I came to know of so many names. The moment I returned I rushed to my father and asked him if he could change my name and when he said that my name was after his mother I was pleased.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Very sweet. At one time I wanted to change my middle name, until Dad said he had given it to me. I was asking about memories you share with any loved one. Thanks for sharing about your relationship with your dad.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (110766)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Jul 18
I'm so glad you see the positive side of all this.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
You have to be ready to see and accept the process, and take what is given to you. I did not have this type of time with my mom.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (110766)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Jul 18
I know what you mean @GardenGerty it's never easy.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22932)
• India
14 Jul 18
It must be comforting for him to have you to share his memories though they maybe mixed up. My parents too talk of their younger days more when I ring them up...They are clearer about those than what is happening day to day
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
I know he gets to sit and talk with my brother at times as well. I am his oldest biological child. My step sister is older. Yes, Dad remembers his address where he grew up and the names of the neighbors and businesses from those days.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
14 Jul 18
Memories of my travels are written in my book published on Amazon Kindle. I was disappointed I wouldn't be able to make it into a paperback book. My mother has got dementia and she has forgotten a lot of recent memories. She still knows me and my sister. She doesn't know my sister's husband though. They have been married for more than 20 years.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
It is "interesting" where the memory gaps come in. You are fortunate to have a book, even on Kindle, that details your travel memories.
@Srbageldog (7720)
• United States
14 Jul 18
This made me think of my grandpa, and how he was toward the end of his life. His mind was muddled (he suffered a stroke) and he kept asking when my grandma (who had passed away 8 years earlier) and my cousin (who had lived with them when she was a little girl) were coming to see him in the rehabilitation facility he was in. When my sister, cousin (different one) and I visited, he thought we were still in high school (we haven't been in over a decade.) It made me sad seeing him that way. He passed away in 2016, a few days after my birthday. I prefer to think of him as how he was when I was a little girl, when he was younger and healthy.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
The thing that bothers me most is that he cannot live with his wife, or see her very often.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112993)
• Philippines
15 Jul 18
It is what is in his heart and his deeds will be judged. Still it is better late than never.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
15 Jul 18
It is good that even as he loses his memory his kind heart is still there.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112993)
• Philippines
15 Jul 18
@GardenGerty yes, because that is what he really he is. A kind heart dad.
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
18 Jul 18
I'm glad you had such a good visit with him and shared those memories and made some new ones too...
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
18 Jul 18
I did not get to visit with my mom when she was dying. She was in hospital for COPD and we thought that she would get better and come back out, but she did not. I was not pushed to visit as often as I should have. I resolved to be here frequently for my dad as he was winding down.
1 person likes this
@just4him (303392)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Jul 18
Those are memories to cherish. I'm sorry he's having a struggle with his memories.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Mostly he is happy though. We just have a hard time following where he leads us in these discussions.
1 person likes this
@just4him (303392)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Jul 18
@GardenGerty I imagine you do. It can't be easy.
@andriaperry (116876)
• Anniston, Alabama
14 Jul 18
I feel so bad for you and others with parents with dementia, its so hard to deal with, especially when they do not know people anymore. I did make so many memories with my dad and God seen fit for him to stay sane in a broken down rotting body till the end.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
I have worked with angry people with dementia, not good. I am glad that he is happy and can have a conversation.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116876)
• Anniston, Alabama
14 Jul 18
@GardenGerty Me too and with the ones on the last stage and that is they forgot they had just ate dinner, or they pee themselves and then think about going to the bathroom.
14 Jul 18
Your dad is lucky to have you. May both of you be bless more and more each day.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Mostly my brother cares for him, but I try to visit regularly. I help out when there is a need.
@Jessabuma (31706)
• Baguio, Philippines
14 Jul 18
I appreciate your care about your father. I love my dad too and I missed him so much. I have unforgettable experiences with my Dad and I am still keeping it
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Yes, that is good.
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31706)
• Baguio, Philippines
15 Jul 18
@GardenGerty yes, thanks
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
14 Jul 18
The important is to be kind and live a honest life. It's nice to go through memories.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Yes, it is nice. It lets you know what is going on in his mind.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (246452)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Memories are the best things to get us through tough times. As my father lay dying, he had me write down some of his memories. Some were jokes. I will save it forever.
@Icydoll (36725)
• India
14 Jul 18
Those are very wonderful memories with your father..
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
14 Jul 18
Yes, it is good to be able to continue to make memories.
1 person likes this