This is not right for me.
By Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
Davao, Philippines
July 19, 2018 7:55pm CST
Yesterday, I and a friend from the center talks about her siblings who always go to her house. She lives in a compound with her Mother and siblings who have their own houses. She is separated from her husband and now she has a live-in partner who is very kind. She said that her siblings always go to her house and stay, sometimes the wife will make a cradle for their baby and use her electric fan. Sometimes too her own Mother will stay in the house and use her things without her permission though her Mother has her own house.
She is worried about her live-in partner because he does the cleaning most of the time, and whenever he likes to rest he could not because the house is full of her sibling's kids and wives as well as her Mother. In short, they don't have their own privacy.
But he does not like to scold them or reprimand them because she is afraid of commotion. And I told her, she needs to tell them that she needed privacy as well because it's her own house. It's not right that siblings always rely on her because she is sick. Instead, they need to help her.
Do you think it's right for the siblings to do that?
Do you think she is right not to tell her siblings about her situation?
Thoughts?
10 people like this
10 responses
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
20 Jul 18
your friend should be firm in talking to her family about her need for privacy and quiet, and rest. they have their own houses, they should stay there. they could visit the sick person maybe once or twice a week, right?
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
20 Jul 18
@JustBhem ugh! that is terrible, really.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jul 18
I told her that she needs to tell her Mother and her sibling's wives that they have their own house why not stay there instead of ruining their privacy.
She said, sometimes they use their home furniture and living it scattered and dirty.
1 person likes this
@cttolledo (5460)
• Legaspi, Philippines
20 Jul 18
Well.. @sol_cee is really right.. a typical way of life of a Filipino family.
Personally, I do not like that kind of set up. Privacy is really important to me so as to others too. That's why, though I have a sister in Manila, just 3 hours away from my place, I opt not to visit her that often during weekends because I wanted to give them privacy, she has her own family and I don't want to mingle with their family weekend activity.
1 person likes this
@cttolledo (5460)
• Legaspi, Philippines
20 Jul 18
@JustBhem Yes, they should realize that people needs personal space. What's the point of having a separate house if she can't enjoy the perks of it.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Jul 18
@cttolledo
Exactly. Now that she has a new partner in her life who accepted her even is she is sick. They should be thankful at least. And they deserve their own privacy.
@ARN4567 (1061)
• Baguio, Philippines
20 Jul 18
Why are they doing these things to you...just as if it is their own house? One thing I may ask, are they against your relationship with your live in partner?...I pity for him, doing all that and in no time to rest..wow...It might be okay if they just visit once in a while but like always would be a totally different thing...
...
...1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157426)
• United States
20 Jul 18
It is hard to stand up to people and to confront them. She needs to though.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jul 18
She said when she doesn't have her live-in partner, she just leaves them while she attends to her small store and since her live-in partner is uncomfortable already of having them there, plus he does the cleaning always, she feels she need to have her own privacy already.
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
20 Jul 18
I think she must have the courage to tell them the truth in a very kind way. Hopefully, her siblings will understand the situation.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jul 18
@simplfred
I hope so. Let just hope so.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
20 Jul 18
@JustBhem I hope that will come to their realization.
1 person likes this
