crying and PS I Love you

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It used to be that when I was younger I was not an emotional person but then I had my son and now it doesn't take a lot to make me cry. There were a few movies or emotional scenes on TV that could and would make me cry even back then. PS I love you and Marley and Me being two fo them. I decided to watch PS I love you on Netflix today and of course, I ended up ugly crying all throughout the movie. This is the reason I won't watch these types of movies with people. I usually pull these kinds of movies out when I need a good cry because even now I pretty much hide my feelings. I don't really know why but I've never been good at expressing them but as I've gotten older I have to say it's getting harder and harder to hide certain feelings. I used to hold back tears until it hurt now I find I can't do that as easily. Whenever I watch this movie I turn into a blubbering mess. I think everyone needs a good cry from time to time. I really don't know why people as a whole think it's not ok I know this goes double for men. I think with women though, a lot of it is that's how we are portrayed. We are seen as the weaker sex in a lot of areas. It's like we are just expected to be irrational and emotionally unstable and I mean I'll be the first to admit I can be irrational at times. I think part of the reason I am so emotionally stunted in some areas is because as a child I cried a lot and my feelings got hurt really easily and I was constantly told I was a bawl baby and eventually I learned how to control it and I did my best to never cry around anyone else. I grew up believing that adults didn't cry and somehow I had to follow suit. As an adult, I know this isn't true. I know as adults we cry less than children at least most of us but I know we are not immune to tears. As a child, I never saw either of my parents cry especially not my dad. As an adult, I have seen my mom tear up during movies or when someone does something moving for her. I have yet to see anything make my dad cry. I have also learned sometimes we do need to cry because it does release some stress. I now laugh at myself for ugly crying during a sad movie. I don't cry a lot but I do find it happening more now than it did before I had my child. I think being a parent gives you a new perspective. I never understood why certain things made my mom happy when I was a child nor did I get why she cried when I finally did become an adult over things that she found touching. Then I had my son and it all made sense. There is nothing in life that brings me more joy than watching as my son becomes his own person. I tear up with pride every time I see him do something amazing. I never understood crying out of happiness until I had a child. It just didn't make sense before but now it does. I imagine it's different for each person but I do find myself feeling these sort of feelings in ways I had never felt before I had my son. It's amazing how much one movie can make you reflect on things. I started watching this movie and before I came anywhere close to the end I was ugly crying all over the place. This is one of the few movies where I actually probably cry through almost the entire movie. I know it probably doesn't do that to everyone but it definitely does that to me.