I Don't Want to Go

Tweet

My brother's wedding is coming up in two weeks. I really don't want to go. If it was being held locally, or even just an hour or so away, I would go without question. But his fiancee decided she wanted to get married in some coastal town 4 hours away from here. They rented a house for us family members to stay in for the weekend. They're even renting a van to drive anyone down who doesn't have transportation. Their wedding weekend is supposed to last from Friday through Monday. His fiancee is a very loud, obnoxious person, one of those people who always comes across as sort of phony. I can handle her in small doses, but the prospect of being around her for three days is something I dread. Plus she comes from a very privileged family, while our family has never been well off. Listening to a bunch of rich people prattle on about their privileged lives is not my idea of a fun time. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of spending a weekend at the coast. It's an experience I've never had, even though I've lived in California my entire life. But it won't be a relaxing weekend if I'm having to run around with a group of people, who will expect me to participate in their plans for all of us and socialize with people who I don't want to socialize with. My boyfriend doesn't want to go either. Neither does my dad. It's a 4 hour drive through an area that is currently burning. Maybe the wildfires will be out by then, or maybe they won't be. My brother said there are alternate routes, but they involve driving 3 extra hours out of the way before reaching the highway that leads to this town. That's 7 or 8 hours in the car one way! There's no way in hell we're driving that long to see my brother get married for the second time. I get that his fiancee is having her dream wedding, but it's so inconsiderate to expect everyone to give up an entire weekend and drive 4-8 hours out of the way just to attend their ceremony! Especially since all of the people they invited live in the same area we do. There was no reason to have their wedding so far away. And with so much of Northern California burning, it seems like it would be common sense to postpone their wedding, rather than expect people to add on another 3-4 hours to their trip! My family is going to be pissed off if I don't go. They're going to say I have no excuse. (Because knowing I'll have a migraine after being stuck in the car for that many hours won't be a valid excuse to them, nor will the fact that my fibromyalgia will definitely flare up from the stress of it.) My mom even bought me a dress to wear to the wedding, even though I didn't ask her to do that. Oh, my brother and his fiancee expect people to bring their own chairs! They can rent a house for everyone to stay in, but can't be bothered to provide seating. That's another expense for everyone. Not to mention the cost of meals, since they expect everyone to chip in for food over the weekend. I could suck it up and go with my family, knowing I'll be stuck there for the entire weekend with no way home until one of them is ready to leave. I could go down the day of with my boyfriend and my dad (which is what we originally planned, but my boyfriend REALLY doesn't want to go, especially if it means tagging on an additional 3-4 hours to the trip) and come back the next day, but that also means leaving our cat here alone, which I don't like doing. Or I could just say to hell with it and stay home, knowing my brother will be pissed off at me, even though I went to his first wedding. I mean, how many weddings am I expected to attend for the same person? I don't enjoy weddings, period. My family never went to them when I was growing up -- mainly because most of my relatives on my mom's side would just elope, but also because my parents hated going to weddings. My dad and I both have a bad feeling about the trip and want to stay home. The rest of our family is pressuring us to go. What would you do in my position? I am sorely tempted to just tell them to livestream the ceremony and I'll watch it at home -- where I at least have a place to sit.