The Five Love Languages
By patgalca
@patgalca (18180)
Orangeville, Ontario
September 2, 2018 2:09pm CST
I see there are previous discussions on this topic but nothing recent at all.
For those of you who don't know, there are five love languages. What a person's love language is varies by individual. They are as follows:
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. Personally, I get a compliment from my husband when urged. As in, "Don't I look nice today?" or "Like my haircut?" I would love to hear more words of affirmation. Even the "I love you" that he mutters is not heartfelt most of the time.
2. Gifts – I think of this as gifts for no reason. Out of the blue. I don't mean special occasions, I don't mean once a week or once a month, just out of the blue for no reason. Like bringing home a bouquet of flowers. My husband did that last week before he went away but I also think he may have gotten that from something I said or did (I bought myself flowers for our anniversary 
)
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service. Again, I feel this has to be heartfelt. My husband does the vacuuming and washes the floors because it is difficult for me physically. Also, it's a guilt thing for him. He seems to pull out the vacuum cleaner when he is going golfing.
4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening. Definitely don't get enough of this.
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love. This is my number one. I don't get enough without my prompting and usually he pushes away from a hug after a few seconds, or lets go of my hand saying it's too hot.
I consider myself in need of all of the five love languages, and maybe a lot of us do. But if I had to narrow it down the Acts of Service and Gifts could be eliminated. I would be happy with the other 3 as long as they are heartfelt.
What about you? Do you "need" one or all of the above?
)
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service. Again, I feel this has to be heartfelt. My husband does the vacuuming and washes the floors because it is difficult for me physically. Also, it's a guilt thing for him. He seems to pull out the vacuum cleaner when he is going golfing.
4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening. Definitely don't get enough of this.
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love. This is my number one. I don't get enough without my prompting and usually he pushes away from a hug after a few seconds, or lets go of my hand saying it's too hot.
I consider myself in need of all of the five love languages, and maybe a lot of us do. But if I had to narrow it down the Acts of Service and Gifts could be eliminated. I would be happy with the other 3 as long as they are heartfelt.
What about you? Do you "need" one or all of the above?5 people like this
5 responses
@RasmaSandra (73408)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
3 Sep 18
I am now on my own. I no longer have to worry about any of them but I do agree with you that if I was in a relationship that acts of service could be eliminated because I think it is better if two people agree to do things together like cook together.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36438)
• Toccoa, Georgia
2 Sep 18
I need a little bit of every category above.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
2 Sep 18
I do get a couple of the languages, but sometimes it's like we speak totally foreign languages.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18180)
• Orangeville, Ontario
2 Sep 18
Yes, my husband lives like he saw his father and mother live. But his brothers don't so that is puzzling to me. My parents were the opposite. My father set the bar high and therefore my expectations in a husband have been high. But I don't think I am wrong in expecting to be treated like any of the above.
1 person likes this
