My High School German Teacher Was An Alien

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MyLot Exclusive #12 My Publisher, Bombastic Bushkin, and my Agent, Drusilla, have been pressuring me to write another Labor Day Themed post. They said they want something about the trials, tribulations and struggles of the Working Class. And they want it fast because this is Labor Day, the last day of the Labor Day Weekend. I would love to indulge them...And I do fully agree that someone needs to write about all the garbage the workers of the world continue to have to put up with---The problem is that I'm just not coming up with any ideas for a fresh, original approach to it. So I'm going to do the next best thing---A thing that will make everyone happy because it has everything to do with Labor Day. It's about someone who has a job! Or had a job. The events I'm about to relate happened in 1980 and he was in his early 40's then, so he might be retired now. His name is Herr P.---P. isn't his real name, I changed it because I don't want to embarrass anyone, not even an Alien (Not the murdering and raping kind that Glorious Leader Donald has warned us about but the other kind. On second thought, calling him an Alien at this point will spoil the surprise so just forget I said anything), but more about that in a minute---and he was my High School German teacher. He was fairly ordinary in most ways except for one. He was...cue the scary ominous music, please---NOT OF THIS WORLD. He had fooled almost everyone but not me and my friends. Not that we're bragging about that because it didn't take a lot of fancy detective work. Anyone who was paying attention would have spotted it. It's just that the only people paying attention were a bunch of High School freshmen. You see, Herr P. exposed himself---Wait! Because you kids these days usually mean something different when you say a teacher exposed him or herself, something that most school boards and law enforcement agencies strongly discourage, I have to explain that it was nothing like that. No. Herr P. merely exposed himself...Put some more scary music here...as an ALIEN! We still don't know what planet he was here spying for but we determined that he was new at it. No seasoned pro would have made the rookie mistake that he made. He knew several Earth languages. English, Japanese, French, Spanish and German, of course, which is what he was teaching. Sounds pretty qualified for a High School teacher, huh? Almost overqualified and that, in itself is suspicious. But we don't even need that piece of evidence. Nope. The only piece we need is that he gave himself away by not knowing Jawohl. We used it and he said, "What's that?" We explained that it was exactly what it sounded like, an extended version of Ja, which means Yes in German and it's used by all Germans. We knew that because, for years, we had watched Hogan's Heroes every day after school at five o'clock on WHBF TV Channel Four. And Herr P. didn't. That's right, he hadn't done his homework. Not completely, anyway. And because of that, a bunch of high school kids knew that he was from another planet and busted him. Well, we tried. We reported him to the local authorities, the FBI, the CIA, the CID and a bunch of other three letter agencies. But nothing ever came of it. Evidently, he, just like Hillary, has lots of friends in the Deep State who keep him protected. So he got away with it---And we don't even know if he was doing anything dangerous, he might have been a totally harmless observer but we wanted the government to look into it and make sure---but we knew what he really was. And now, you do, too. Kids, let this be a lesson to you. If you're going to run a criminal spy ring on another planet, make sure you do ALL your homework. Or you run the risk of being exposed by a bunch of kids---Not in the way you kids mean when you say "Exposed!" Not knowing one single word in an entire language brought him down and it could bring you down, too! That's all for this one. For the sake of completeness, I'm adding the definition of Jawohl at the end, just before the links. Just in case you were thinking that they made up the word for the TV show. The only other thing to say is that Bombastic and Dru will be happy because I wrote a post about a guy with a job on Labor Day! The only other other thing is for you kids who TwitBookFace, the Hasher Tag for this one is: #ALIENINVASION. I have no idea what any of that means but the Marketing Department says it's vital, so there it is. HAPPY LABOR DAY, 2018 Jawohl Interjection jawohl (respectful, emphatic) yes; (military) yes sir Descendants Istriot: iavòl Here Are The Links: