On Judgements about people
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40248)
United States
September 6, 2018 2:31pm CST
Hi MyLot,
First I want to ask for your prayers, thoughts and good wishes.
About 2 weeks ago we got notified that at my mom's oncology appointment, that her blood count for one of the marker levels were a little bit over "normal". Very slightly over normal, but still it is concerning. My mom like the hero/warrior that she is - isn't worried. Tomorrow we go for her CT Scans. The Dr. wanted her to have those anyway, it's a routine thing. We are all hoping and praying that those pictures will be free of any bad issue.
Now, to my topic. On recent discussion with @amadeo I was inspired to tell you these tales about times when I have judged people.
Way back, when I used to teach dance, I had this one lady come by and take class from me. She had her hair in a mohawk and had a lot of facial piercings and tattoos. I thought she was very bold and aggressive. In reality, I got wise after the first time she had a panic attack and had to go sit in the corner in the fetal position. - The facial piercings, ink and hair weren't a marking of defiance. They were a symbol of wanting to be left alone.
I was new in a group of people - and I got to know these 2 ladies. One looked very friendly and one looked grumpy. In reality their personalities were the opposite of what I thought. That has actually happened many times to me.
I try to not judge people on first glance any more,but it still happens, I think to a point it is just human nature.
Do you have any stories to share?
Photo: Pixabay
14 people like this
14 responses
@Juliaacv (48404)
• Canada
6 Sep 18
Let me start by telling you that I will keep your mother in my prayers. 
I hope that her warrior disposition is going to get her thru this appointment and come out with news that she can handle, and that you and your family can deal with.
Now, on to the second part of your topic.
I had very dark hair. And the darker your hair, the sooner the light (grey) hairs start to show.
Sounds right doesn't it? A number of hair dressers have told me that story.
I can remember seeing grey hair as young as when I was 17 or 18 years old, but it didn't change the fact that I was just a teenager. Thankfully, I was asked for proof of age (19) until I was in my late 20's. But eventually, I let go of the complete dying of the hair. Now I only get some light and dark hues added for dimension. And yet, I am asked quite often if I am retired. People naturally think that from what they see I just have to be a senior.
Nope, I'm just impersonating one. 
And I LIKE the white strands in my hair.
I hope that her warrior disposition is going to get her thru this appointment and come out with news that she can handle, and that you and your family can deal with.
Now, on to the second part of your topic.
I had very dark hair. And the darker your hair, the sooner the light (grey) hairs start to show.
Sounds right doesn't it? A number of hair dressers have told me that story.
I can remember seeing grey hair as young as when I was 17 or 18 years old, but it didn't change the fact that I was just a teenager. Thankfully, I was asked for proof of age (19) until I was in my late 20's. But eventually, I let go of the complete dying of the hair. Now I only get some light and dark hues added for dimension. And yet, I am asked quite often if I am retired. People naturally think that from what they see I just have to be a senior.
Nope, I'm just impersonating one. And I LIKE the white strands in my hair.4 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks so much dear, we all appreciate the well wishes here. 
Well, it wasn't as good of news as we had hoped for. She had the CT and a PET scan and both of them show the same thing. Not for 100% sure cancer, but - suspicious. Mom, after a little melt down, is back to cheerful, upbeat, she says "it's still not going to get me".
Ah, I did enjoy your story. I know what you mean - I have the almost black hair too - so the white showed up for me around 17 years old. I also, recently haven't colored mine. I also like the white in my hair.
Here's to both of us being white haired beauties! :-)
Well, it wasn't as good of news as we had hoped for. She had the CT and a PET scan and both of them show the same thing. Not for 100% sure cancer, but - suspicious. Mom, after a little melt down, is back to cheerful, upbeat, she says "it's still not going to get me".
Ah, I did enjoy your story. I know what you mean - I have the almost black hair too - so the white showed up for me around 17 years old. I also, recently haven't colored mine. I also like the white in my hair.
Here's to both of us being white haired beauties! :-)1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48404)
• Canada
14 Sep 18
@FayeHazel I'm glad that she is back to her cheerful self.
I love the white haired beauties name, I think I'll use it again if you don't mind!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@Juliaacv Thanks, she is my hero for sure!
Oh be my guest - white haired beauties, I love it
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
6 Sep 18
Years ago at work, a delivery man who came there often, was so grouchy and hateful. I really didn't like him at all. I learned a few years later that at the time he was dealing with a wife who had a terminal disease. I felt really bad that I hadn't been more patient with him, although I had no way of knowing. I'll add a prayer that your mom (our Vicki) will be well and get a good report.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Oh, that is so sad about the man. You're right. Even if someone is harsh with us - we have no way of knowing what is going on in their lives. It's not the same, but in the group of my dance ladies some of the women were upset, because one of them seemed to be more snippy, more short off. My first impression was that something was going on in her life. Well, sure enough, a few months later we found out she was going through a separation that ended in a divorce. :/
Thank you so much, we Vicki's (I'm counting myself, middle names lol) - need to all stay strong and appreciate the thought. It wasn't as good as it could have been - the images, though, after we calmed ourselves - it also isn't the worst it could have been....
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@FayeHazel I'm so sorry, please tell your mom I'll continue to add my prayers to so many others. Tell her we've got to get busy with the Vicki Club, so many decisions to make, etc.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@1creekgirl She gets a big kick out of that, so I will be sure to pass along that message. As do I. Both 1st name Vicki and 2nd name Vicki club. Meeting agenda: more personalized items for us please
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
6 Sep 18
I hope that all works out well with your mom's health!
I'm not into judging people, no matter what they look like, how they dress or their lifestyle.
I'm not into judging people, no matter what they look like, how they dress or their lifestyle. 2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks so much for the well wishes
You're right, best to not judge
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111948)
• United States
6 Sep 18
I know what your mom is going through this. Hope all her test are negative.Not the other part that Photo.No I do like to judge.
I know we have a new generation among us.even though we do not like the attire of some of these people.We choose or ignored them.
for my I just ignored.We had our periods.Let them have theirs
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks for the well wishes - we appreciate it greatly.
I agree with you. Some of the new trends - I don't understand , but it doesn't harm my opinion of the wearer
@Hannihar (129430)
• Israel
23 Sep 18
@FayeHazel
Yes, I have seen people walk around here with different colored hair and it looks very strange. I am so sorry about your Mom and hope all goes well for her and all of you too.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129430)
• Israel
25 Sep 18
@FayeHazel
You are welcome and I wonder why they do it. Maybe they are saying they are different or making some kind of statement.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
26 Sep 18
@Hannihar True, maybe it is a trend from a celebrity, or, a way of like you mentioned, saying "Im unique"
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
Some days I wonder at the folks with odd colors hair - It's hard to keep those colors in ….. but.... it happens.
Thanks for the well wishes dear :-)
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Happy belated birthday!
Thank you for the well wishes, we all appreciate it. :-)
So true, it's best to wait, because actions will prove the person
@shaggin (71664)
• United States
7 Sep 18
I was grumpy at a party this past weekend and a guy told me I looked miserable or something like that. I guess my mood reflected on my face because I have been told since I was in high school that I looked mean or mad. People used to say that to me all the time that I looked mad but I wasn't I just had resting b**** face.
I think what's great about your post is your showing how we tend to judge people based on looks before we get to know them.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71664)
• United States
15 Sep 18
@FayeHazel yes it does make me feel a little better you understand because you go through the same thing. My father in law and my children's father used to make wicked witch music about how I look when I drive. I have to concentrate hard on the road and what am I supposed to do drive around with a big grin on my face all the time for no reason lol. My father in law always has to talk about someone. He picks on everyone name and is a huge gossip. Yet he and his wife lose their minds if anyone says anything about them and their son. Really irks me.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@shaggin That would bother me, too. I have a friend like that. She'll gossip and make snide comments, but lo that anyone does the same to hear, on go the water works. I really don't know how to deal with people like that.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Oh dear! I do love those resting B* face videos too, because that's exactly my point here.
If it makes you feel better I'm usually told that I look worried or intense. Im not - its just how my face is.
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
7 Sep 18
I hope your mother's CT scan at the hospital goes well tomorrow. Yes, a lot of times we judge people by their appearance, which is unreasonable.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks for the well wishes. It , ah, wasn;t... what we were hoping for. They suspect recurrence, though it's not showing up as 100% for sure cancer. So - I think that means it's been caught early
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
13 Sep 18
I am late to this @FayeHazel , I hope all is okay with your Mom. I have made so many bad decisions in life and I have so many regrets that I rather not judge people. Though I suppose there are times I might have judged people before reminding myself that I am the last one to judge.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
20 Sep 18
@FayeHazel just so many regrets and still paying for those mistakes, though I did have my reasons. I hope your Mom and you are doing okay.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@bluesa Aw sorry. It surely does sound like whatever it was your learned from. You are a very kind, caring person, but sometimes even the nicest of us are influenced by events, the past, people around us, culture, community, etc..... outside things.
Thanks dear.... she's my hero
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks dear, we appreciate the well wishes here greatly.
Aw hey. You were probably doing what you felt best at the time, even if it didn't turn out to be the best thing. You likely had your reasons at that point in time. No use being harsh to yourself.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (246720)
• United States
7 Sep 18
I will pray for your mom again. I just said a prayer for her. I truly hope she will be just fine.
I don't judge too many people based on looks. Usually, they are so different from how they appear. However, some people scare the hell out of me based on their looks. I will stay away from them. I don't believe I would want to know them.
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@DianneN (246720)
• United States
15 Sep 18
@FayeHazel You are right - the news could have been worse. I will continue to pray that whatever it is, it is easily treatable.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@DianneN Thank you Dianne. You're awesome
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks so much dear, we all appreciate it here.
Unfortunately she had the CT and a PET too, both show the same thing. Not 100% sure it's cancer, but suspicious. After we calmed down - we realized that the news could have been worse. Though it's still not the news we wanted.
It's true - those that go to great lengths to look a certain way - their outside says a lot about what their mental state may be......
Unfortunately she had the CT and a PET too, both show the same thing. Not 100% sure it's cancer, but suspicious. After we calmed down - we realized that the news could have been worse. Though it's still not the news we wanted.
It's true - those that go to great lengths to look a certain way - their outside says a lot about what their mental state may be......1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325693)
• Rockingham, Australia
7 Sep 18
They say don't judge a book by its cover but when you first pick up a book the cover is all you have to judge it by. It's a bit the same with people. You can try to be as open as possible but the 'cover' can't help but give us first impressions.
And I'll pray for a good result on your mother's tests.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
That's a good way to look at it. Until we have more information, sometimes all we have to go on for initial opinions is how someone looks. How clean they are, how they are dressed, any tattoos , jewelry, hairstyles,
Thanks dear, we appreciate the prayers
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@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
7 Sep 18
Hope the scans arent bad, and your mom will be okay.
Everyone judges during their lifetime, because as you said, it's human nature. But I try not to do it often.
I've had the same experience with people being opposite, a few times.
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@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@FayeHazel you're welcome.
I do too, but most the time i'm right about people.. sadly.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Sep 18
@Courtlynn Aw, sometimes you gotta trust those instincts. :/
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
14 Sep 18
Thanks dear, we appreciate that here :-)
That's interesting, isn't it? Now whenever I get am impression about 2 people where I think one will be more friendly than the other, I usually question it lol
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