I think I'm not with myself lately.
By Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
Davao, Philippines
September 9, 2018 8:47am CST
Yes, I noticed that I'm becoming so different. I get irritated and sad.
I should be the strongest people because of what I have been through.
Is it because of what I'm experiencing now that makes me feel like this.
The boyfriend noticed my negativity too. And he always tells me that I should let go of negative thoughts because it won't do me goo. But what can I do?
Every time I try to feel good about myself, later I feel bad. Then I feel sad and I feel alone. I'm becoming so dull, not lively anymore.
God knows how hard I tried to get back the person I used to be.
But sadness came over most of the time.
10 people like this
11 responses
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
9 Sep 18
As @rakski said, music is probably the best mood enhancer. It is good therapy when your feeling down. You have to feel your emotions to be able to let them go. If you feel sad but can't cry, listen to music that will make you cry and let those feelings out. You will gain so much clarity afterwards.
Hope you feel better soon. 
3 people like this
@rakski (112925)
• Philippines
9 Sep 18
I feel you. And I know it is not the easiet thing to do--to be positive. But you have to really try harder Bhem. Negative feelings will just bring sadness, loneliness and fear. Try to sing lively songs, songs of worship and praise. Think of you still being here, that is something to be thankful for. You can do it! God bless you
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
10 Sep 18
maybe your illness is giving you negative vibrations, hija.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
11 Sep 18
@JustBhem but it is expected that you must have your rest. we cannot force ourselves to do something if it causes our health to be compromised. maybe walks around your house will be nice.
if we force ourselves into doing things to the extreme, we might have the unexpected health problems and that is not nice and good.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 18
@ridingbet
I am doing the walking and the stretching though.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
10 Sep 18
It is easier to say but tough to follow. You are going through a long sickness and that is taking a toll on you. And it is quite natural to feel so. Do not feel guilty. A good read, some good music and if you can meditate will definitely help.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Sep 18
@arunima25
Yes, because no one else can help us only ourself.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
11 Sep 18
@JustBhem I am so happy that you are trying to help yourself
1 person likes this
@freelancermariagrace (27219)
• Philippines
9 Sep 18
I know what you are going through right now and I know how hard it is to smile and be positive these days. But just try to let go of those negativities even just for a while. Pray harder. And don't lose hope, Bhem. I know things will get better in God's perfect time.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Sep 18
God knows Maria that I really tried hard to let go of these negative emotions I am having every now and then. And it's hard, really. Sometimes I end up crying and sleeping hoping if I wake up everything will go, but still remains. I always pray hard. I pray my medicines to cure me. I pray for everything that I thought will help me, even the food I eat. I can only be okay if I will be outside, like in the center. Where I can see the same patient having the same issue as me, we can share our day to day life.
1 person likes this
@freelancermariagrace (27219)
• Philippines
10 Sep 18
@JustBhem I feel you, Bhem. Just continue praying.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
10 Sep 18
Relax. It is your sickness and so do not blame yourself. I know a bit about this sickness and yes it does affect one emotionally. May be meditation could help
https://www.gaiam.com/blogs/discover/meditation-101-techniques-benefits-and-a-beginner-s-how-to
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
10 Sep 18
@JustBhem Meditation will help you not to think about your sickness.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Sep 18
@allknowing
I hope it will help. Thanks once again.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
9 Sep 18
I think when tough situation after tough situation comes-it is hard to see the beautiful light that we saw before. We all go through it, it's normal and I understand completely. Just keep praying for God to help you see the good and find things to be grateful for. We are about to be living under a bridge but I am thankful that I have my husband and kids with me through it.
1 person likes this
@JamilahPH (105)
• Brunei Darussalam
9 Sep 18
There are things that we cannot change and the rest we still can change.....
We cannot change the things that happened to us, but we can change how we choose to step up. Stand up after each fall... Standing up might take some effort, but the effort is necessary..
We pray that things will get better for you.
1 person likes this
