My Life Will Never Be the Same

@BelleStarr (39880)
United States
September 15, 2018 10:11pm CST
This week started off on such a positive note that I was totally unprepared for what Thursday would bring. My 103-year-old mother passed away unexpectedly and quickly. She had a long life and it is hard to be sad but losing your mother changes everything. This has been a tough year, I lost my sister and my son in laws father who was very much a part of our family, my dear online friend Barry Chadwick and now my mom. I am feeling limp, sort of like the starch has gone out of me. I did force myself to go and do the tour of the church this morning, I didn't think it was fair to disappoint the people who were looking forward to it. I'm glad I did, it was well received and I enjoyed doing it. The funeral won't be until Friday while we wait for my brothers to arrive. I am not sure how much I will be on, it depends how I feel but rest assured I will get to all your comments on all my posts when I am back to being myself. Life does go on even when we lost those we love.
52 people like this
51 responses
@andriaperry (61413)
• Anniston, Alabama
16 Sep
I am so sorry for your loss.
9 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
Thanks Andria, it has been a tough year so far that is for sure.
3 people like this
@jstory07 (71376)
• Roseburg, Oregon
16 Sep
I am sorry you loss your mother. Just think of all of the good memories that you have of her.
6 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
I do have lots of wonderful memories, she and I were very close.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (4004)
• United States
16 Sep
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your mom lived a long life and I bet she had some wonderful stories to tell. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
Thank you for the prayers and yes I picked her brain over the years and wrote down as many stories as I could.
2 people like this
@sallypup (29383)
• Moses Lake, Washington
16 Sep
I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm also glad you had your Mom for so long.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
I know I was really lucky to be able to have her for so long. It is an adjustment to get used to her being gone.
2 people like this
@sallypup (29383)
• Moses Lake, Washington
18 Sep
@BelleStarr I'm truly sorry. I wonder what I will feel when my Mom passes? It feels like Alzheimers took her from us long ago though she is still with us on this earth.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
24 Sep
@sallypup It is an odd feeling, I miss the woman who was my mother but that woman has been gone for quite a few years. But still even this shell of a woman would sometimes smile at the sight of me and I will never see her eyes light up again, I am deeply sad but it is tinged with relief that she is in a better place.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (182945)
• Switzerland
16 Sep
I am so sorry Belle, we know that one day this has to happen, but I know we are never prepared when the moment comes. My condolences, I am really sorry.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
24 Sep
Thank you so much Anna, I know that you have been through this recently and nothing is quite as bad as losing your mother.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (182945)
• Switzerland
25 Sep
@BelleStarr You are right, you know that life will not last forever, but you are never prepared.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (15229)
• Germany
16 Sep
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. Take time to recover but take care of yourself.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
I am alright most of the time and then I will just start to cry, I am happy for her but sad for me.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (104298)
• United States
16 Sep
Sorry just isn't a big enough word.We will be waiting when you are able to be back.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
24 Sep
Thank you Heather, my heart is heavy but my faith is pretty strong so they are having a bit of a tug o war right now. I have moments of intense sadness but they pass.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (53392)
• Philippines
16 Sep
I"m so sorry for your loss. Even though we know that life will end eventually, losing someone is always difficult.
3 people like this
@Corbin5 (119782)
• United States
20 Oct
I read your most recent post, and I did not know your dear mother passed away. I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking of your mom and her long life when my dad passed away on July 15 this past summer. I kept thinking if I could get him to eat, he would live even longer, but at age 97, his body just gave out.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
21 Oct
I am so sorry for your loss as well, it is so hard losing our parents even when they have a long life. I keep asking myself if I should have told them no when they increased her morphine but I really know she was ready to go. Sending a hug.
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (119782)
• United States
21 Oct
@BelleStarr Same with me. I kept questioning my decisions as POA, but I knew that Dad was quite uncomfortable, and when he winced in pain, my sister and I definitely did not want that. We made sure he was in as little pain as possible. The amazing thing we heard Dad say 3 times was, "Come follow us." We wondered to whom he was talking. Sis and I decided it was his beloved sister Kathleen who was killed in a car accident when she was 23 and a brand new mom. He loved his only sister with all his heart. Sending hug to you too.
2 people like this
@DianneN (88228)
• United States
20 Sep
Again, Iz, my deepest condolences. I know how much it hurts. You have my love and hugs.
2 people like this
@DianneN (88228)
• United States
25 Sep
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55258)
• United States
16 Sep
I truly hated "liking" this post. I am so sorry for all of your losses this year, but especially for the loss of your mother. . I can only imagine the pain you're feeling right now.. and am surprised yet.. I guess.. proud? that you went and did the tour at church this morning. (Glad it was well liked). Will be thinking of you and your family.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
21 Oct
Thanks, Courtney, I know what you mean about liking posts like this but it is just something we do. I very much appreciate your sympathy, you are a sweetheart!!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55258)
• United States
25 Oct
@BelleStarr as are you.
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (15061)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
16 Sep
My deepest condolences on the loss of your mother.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (57488)
• East Tawas, Michigan
16 Sep
This is so sad, Belle:( A mother has a very special place in one's heart, nobody else can fill! I will pray for you and your family.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
17 Nov
Thank you so much Kharla, it has been a hard time for me for sure and I hope it gets easier soon. The prayers are greatly appreciated.
@1creekgirl (12588)
• United States
16 Sep
Oh, I am so sorry to hear such sad news. I know you're glad your mom had a long life, but it's never easy to lose someone we love, no matter how long we've had them. Get rest when you can, lots of us will be praying for you.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
21 Oct
Thank you for your prayers, it was a great comfort to me. I am starting to turn the bend I think, I actually baked yesterday and I made a pork roast early this morning.
@sharon6345 (142818)
• United States
16 Sep
I hope the best for the family in your time of need. I am sure you will do your best. I am sorry. Good night.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Sep
I am so sorry to hear this and my condolences to you.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
18 Sep
Thank Marilyn it is something I have known was coming but nothing prepares you for it when it actually happens.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Sep
@BelleStarr same here. I thought I was prepared a little over a year ago when my mom was declining but when it actually happened I was pretty devestated. My mom was 94 and I felt lucky to have had her for so long but....it still isn't easy. My thoughts and prayers are with you
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
24 Sep
• Pamplona, Spain
11 Nov
So very sorry this has happened to you and it takes time to get over it and she will always be in your heart no matter what.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
16 Nov
Thank you, you are right of course, I will feel her near me all my the rest of my life.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
16 Nov
@BelleStarr Wishing you all the best.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (6324)
• United States
21 Oct
So sorry.103 is a long life. But no matter we never want to let them go. Life definitely goes on my friend. Memories are what you have forever.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
21 Oct
Thank you and I agree, the memories are what will stay with me until I see her again.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (6324)
• United States
21 Oct
@BelleStarr They will never go away. I could not survive without memories.
@RubyHawk (30557)
• Atlanta, Georgia
18 Sep
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. our lives are never the same after losing our mother. You take care of yourself and don't worry about us. we'll be here when you get back to us. Take all the time you need.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (30557)
• Atlanta, Georgia
21 Sep
@BelleStarr It will be a hard day to get through. Rest when you can and take care of yourself.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (26798)
• United States
17 Sep
I am so sorry to hear this sad news.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39880)
• United States
21 Oct
Thank you so much Marie, I am still trying to get it sorted in my head but I get better every day.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (26798)
• United States
21 Oct
@BelleStarr I hope that things keep getting better for you.