Feeling Blue.

@JustBhem (70601)
Davao, Philippines
October 8, 2018 8:13pm CST
I was on oxygen for the entire 4 sessions last night. The moment the machine started treating me, I feel I'm running out of breath. The nurse notices my uneasiness. So she offered me to have an oxygen. I don't know what happened why I suddenly feel like that. I was okay in the lobby while talking to my fellow patients. Thankful the boyfriend was there. Ever since I was admitted twice this year. I noticed a lot of changes in me. First is, I lose weight. Second is my bones are getting weaker. Third, hemoglobin is kind of stiff. Fourth, I always feel pain in some of my body parts. Fifth, my face gets puffy. And the last is, I think I'm shrinking. Sometimes I think my dying moment is about to happen. Sorry for feeling this way. I just can't help to share what's inside me. Please, have a good day.
6 people like this
10 responses
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
That’s a harrowing ordeal, Bhem. And don’t be sorry for feeling that way. We truly understand what are you going through. Just let it all out here. We are here to listen. And please don’t lose hope! Everything will be okay in God’s perfect time.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Thank you so much, Maria, for making me feel a little better with your kind words. I really appreciate it a lot.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. I think it is normal to feel a bit depress when you go through things that are out of your control. Getting a sickness is one of them. You do not know when things are going to be okay and at times you feel hopelessness in the midst of all the treatments you undergo. But one thing is in your control. Your thoughts and determination, If you focus on the positive side of things your body might respond to it and may eventually help heal itself. So when you are in this situation that you cannot control find the things that you can control.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Thanks for these. That is why I have myLot to express how badly affected I am with my sickness. I know I'm becoming hopeless and hearing from you all here makes me believe that there are certain things I should do to make myself better.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Oct 18
It is better to let your thoughts out than to internalize them. I am glad the nurse noticed your uneasiness and did something to alleviate it.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Oct 18
@JustBhem Yes, that is one thing I love about this site. So many kind people!
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Thanks to myLot, I can share my issues here without judging me.
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
@ScribbledAdNauseum Kind people to understand us.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
9 Oct 18
I think it was a panic attack, for some reason you stressed too much and you were out of breath. Speak with the doctor about all you have discussed here.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (454979)
• Switzerland
9 Oct 18
@JustBhem It is possible, may be you were a bit anxious.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
@LadyDuck I think so.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
I was calm when the nurse inserted the needle in my AVF. Maybe it has something to do with the liquids intake I have.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (84953)
• Bangalore, India
9 Oct 18
It is good to vent out your thoughts than holding them. Prayers with you. May God give you the strength.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Thanks. It does help me.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
@arunima25 Thanks a lot.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (84953)
• Bangalore, India
9 Oct 18
@JustBhem You are welcome. Take care.
1 person likes this
@debjani1 (7211)
9 Oct 18
Try to concentrate on other activities. Do meditation which will I think help you a lot.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
I think I can't do meditation. My legs are too painful. All I did is to just sit back.
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
@yoalldudes Oh, how I wish I can to the mountain and spend more time in a camping site.
@yoalldudes (35042)
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
@JustBhem Meditation can be about just staring at something you love like nature. Or focusing your heart and mind on something or someone you love while feeling wonderful feelings. It is about our inner self.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112993)
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
Though it is hard to digest your thoughts and feelings now, I think it is a good way for you to release your fears and stress. I cannot say I feel you because I have not experienced what you are going through but I will fervently pray for your health. I sincerely hope you will fell better soon and that your health will improve.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Thank you, rakski. You've been helpful.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112993)
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
@JustBhem you are most welcome
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
@JudyEv (323673)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Oct 18
It's okay to express your thoughts here. You need to do that I'm sure and this is a safe place to do it.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
Yes, that is why I don't like to have someone in my circle of friends be here because I don't want to get exposed. I'm too sensitive when it comes to emotions.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66861)
• Philippines
10 Oct 18
having puffy face is edema. i believe you have fluids retained in your body. i hope with the dialysis, you will feel good
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Oct 18
Yes, I think that too.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35042)
• Philippines
9 Oct 18
This is really sad. It makes us think more about how beautiful life is and everyday is a blessing.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70601)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Oct 18
It would be more beautiful for me if I am not this sick.