Who Will Take Care Of Mother?

As you know I did all of it as long as I could. I have wished I would have put Dad in the nursing home sooner as he had a lot more freedom with his wild sleeping hours there than what I could let him do. Also my brother and sister visited him more in there. They had to put on the I care show. But it made dad happy so I was happy for him. I hope that when the time comes I can find a home I will like and just put myself into it. I have told the kids as much also.

My sister has already announced that she will do it. Fine with me.

I took care of my mom with the help of my daughters.

My mother lived in her own home till she was 99 but then moved to a nursing home. Although she wasn't sick as such she required too much care to stay with my sister (in the same town). My sister and brother visited every few days and we would make the two-hour drive every three weeks.

I do not talk to either parent. So they have probably already made arrangements.

I don't have that problem any more, parents and siblings are all gone.

We are three children and my mother , who is 89 , fit and healthy lives with my sister and brother since they both live in the same city. I visit her and them 3-4 times a year. She also spends a couple of months with me during summer when my brother and sister go for holidays with their family

There has to be a clear definition on this. The child who stays home, or home maker or the child whose career is not as promising as the rest. In all other cases, each child should be hosts of parents for a few months each year. In the final stages, the child with fewer responsibilities need to take a break, while others step in monetarily. Nursing homes here are expensive. And despite the expense, not livable most of the time. Lonely as hell, for those who do not like loneliness. I do not like the thought of old age home because they have a time table. I am averse to being pushed around.

God will take care of my parents. They are gone and in the Garden there in Heaven.

It is myself and a nephew that care for my parents. One of my sisters helps when she is off work, the other occasionally and my brother has forsaken them.

my parents are already in heaven so it is who gets to take care of me

Bad memories. That about sums up my Dad's final days and the hoorah between me, him and one of my brothers. My Mom is still with us and finally the sister that she lives with has figured out that she needs a helper to come in and help out Mom once a week plus Mom goes to day care on another day. Dementia sure puts a fly or three into the ointment.

I looked after my mother inlaw until she made the decision to move into a nursing home. I had my father until he decided to move into a retirement home....fell, broke his hip....spent months in hospital....then a nursing home. I would not have been able to care for him....

You were a good daughter to care for your Father so Angie. That witch he had was no good I can see by this here. Sorry to know that too RIP Well Mama and Dad are both gone now, and I too surely despise what happened to them and in the way that it did. I could write a book here. But my conscience is clear, I did take care.

That is a good question..right now in their low 80's they are pretty self sufficient still. Sister is a few hours away and sees them frequently. I think they take care of each other, but if something happens to one of them..it would be worrisome. One of us would have to move in and maybe take trade off carrying for them I think until we couldn't do it any longer. I really don't think my mom would last long at all without my dad, and he not sure.

Our parents live about 10 minutes from us in either directions. My parents have never moved from their house - they've always told us they were going to die in that house - they don't want to ever live in a home. They have always been independent - they take care of each other and although they are not wealthy, they are financially ok. My "culture" and their way is about not burdening the children - I know they wouldn't want us to live with them - and they don't want to live with us . But I do cook for them and take care of certain things for them - it's not a big deal for me and I'm happy to do it since they rarely ask for help. My younger sister and husband is about an hour drive away - and I know they can come down here too. Hubby's side is a different story. His parents were always in a financial strap due to poor choices. When his late father got double hernia surgery, his advanced dementia got worse - and mother in law decided she could no longer take care of him. It was decided he should go in a home - and he did - and he did not live past a few months after that. Several years later, my mother in law is now in the position where her home has to be sold - she cannot afford to be there. Plus her eldest daughter's children kept coming to live with her and cause problems (that's another story) . . . so she is being moved to an independent senior home closer to my other sister in law's area. That's not good either as mother in law is being plucked out of the community she's lived in for well over 50 years - but it is the decision of my other sister in law as she takes care of her finances. Sorry that was long . . . that's the big thing in our lives right now.

Mine are both gone.

My Dad has passed away, and my mother has had to put herself up in a fancy retirement home a couple of times while she healed from hip replacement surgery. She would probably go there before her health fails, and then from there would probably have to move to a home that offers care.

Not me. I can't stand that woman. I could care less what happens to her. Let my sisters worry about it. Can't stand them either.