I don't know what it's like to not have money?

United States
October 24, 2018 2:55am CST
That is what I was just informed by two people who will remain nameless for now, although if you've read any of my previous entries, you could probably guess one of them. And the reason these people said that to me was because I bought one of my cousins a $5 shirt. A $5 SHIRT! Not like I went out and bought her a brand new iPhone! One of the people saw my christmas buying list this year. It is 4x what it was last year and I have quite a few done. When asked who all I planned on buying for, I showed her my list and she scoffed at it. "I can't even think about Christmas. I have bills to pay. You will just never know what it's like to not have money to spend on things you want." The 2nd person that said this, although not directly to me, I over heard it. was KK's bio mom. Her daughter, KK"s sister, wanted a white dress she could cut up and put fake blood on for Halloween. We went to a few stores and didn't find anything so I took her to Walmart and took her to the men's section. We got the biggest size they had in a white tshirt and it pretty much goes to her knees. Hannah and KK"s bio mom didn't have any money so I said I would buy it. Well, while I was looking at new sneakers for myself, I overheard KK"s bio mom tell Hannah NOT to let me buy the shirt. Her words were "We can come back for it next week. Suzy's not like us. She doesn't know what it's like to not have money." Mind you, this is also after I took them out to lunch. No grumbling about me spending my money then. So, I guess my question to anyone reading this is: What do you do with your money? For me, I pay my bills and then have some left over so each payday, I put a little aside for our summer vacation. I also try to put some in my saving's account every month. And the reason I am able to do this is because I literally don't buy myself anything unless I absolutely need it. - A couple days ago, I bought myself $10 sneakers with a bday gift card from my dad. - Last month for my birthday, I bought myself a new sweatshirt that cost $15. - In August, I bought myself 2 pairs of pants and a package of socks. ($50) Now if any of the kids need something, I go right out and get it for them. When my nephew needed a new winter jacket last year, I went and spent $40 on one that he still has. It's a jacket that will last him for the next couple years. Does anyone else do that? Never buy anything for yourself but if it's for the kids, not even your own kids, you don't hesitate??
29 people like this
27 responses
@jstory07 (71284)
• Roseburg, Oregon
24 Oct
I did that for forty years with my kids that are now adults. They came first before me.
10 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
Kids always come first in my mind. Me, I can live without alot of things but kids shouldn't have to. I think that's why I am always buying for my nephews.
3 people like this
@dodo19 (34007)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
24 Oct
I don't usually buy much for myself. I do have a pretty easy time buying stuff for my kids or something, especially when they need it, but not for myself. I do try to be careful with what I spend.
6 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
It's really easy to spend money on kids. I think that's why I try to do my grocery shopping without the kids but I still end up putting lots of goodies in the cart for them anyways. It's like they're there with me even when they're not.
6 people like this
@dodo19 (34007)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 I know what you mean. I try to do my groceries during the week while they're at school and daycare, but still try to keep their likes in mind and put in a few things for them.
3 people like this
@playertwo (1297)
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 christmas is coming up soon and i am going to spoil my baby cousin addison. she deserves it.
2 people like this
@Plethos (11627)
• United States
24 Oct
i am a bit like you. i try not to overspend on items. and only buy if i need it. KKs bio mom should be appreciative that someone, you, is wanting and able to treat her daughter as her own and taking care of her as if she were your daughter. perhaps its a bit of jealousy and feelings of motherhood ineptitude on her part. only thing i could advise is to ask her if its okay to buy or treat either of them something. youre heart is in the right place but hers is maybe just protected by pride.
5 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
I think she was feeling jealous of me that I would just buy Hannah a shirt. This was after she told Hannah that they didn't have the money for it that week. The reason I bought it is because it was the last white one in that size and by the time they went back for it, it would be gone. I swear that people think I am stuck up or better than them because I will spend money on others without thinking about it. And I don't even rub it in their faces. I don't bring it up down the line to make them feel bad. I do it to make them happy or to brighten up their day. In the end, you just can't make everyone happy and that's what I am finally learning. No matter what I do, no matter how much money I may spend, I will never be able to make everyone happy. But like I tell KK, $5 is not going to make me rich but if it will make someone's day, I will gladly give it to them. and it's not like you can take your money with you when you die.
5 people like this
• Philippines
24 Oct
very perceptive, plethos.
4 people like this
• Philippines
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 you're practical, have foresight and still able to help
5 people like this
@Courage7 (18501)
• United States
24 Oct
Yes I never buy anything for myself and only pay bills and rent.
5 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
This past year has been like that for me. I felt guilty for buying myself a sweater that was $15 but I love it. I even put aside all this money to do some fun things during summer but we never did anything. Next summer will be a different story though. We are hoping to take a road trip to Tenn. or New Orleans.
3 people like this
@sugartoes (43246)
• Greencastle, Indiana
24 Oct
@Courage7 only pay bills and rent. we don't pay rent but we pay a 500$ a month property pymt & that will be paid off in like 3-4 yrs & a car pymt of 300$ a month & that pretty well eat's up what $ we get. where we CAN'T put back or do hardly ANYTHING for ourselves.
2 people like this
@playertwo (1297)
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 sounds like you really love the kids in your family and i think that is so awesome.
3 people like this
@DWDavis (15035)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
24 Oct
My wife is very much like you. She takes care of the bills each month and sets aside amounts for different future expenses. I know what it's like to have too much month at the end of the money. I've scrounged for coins in the couch cushions to find enough money to buy enough gas to get me back and forth to work for a couple more days until payday. My financial woes were not because my job didn't pay enough, they were because of my own choices in how and where I spent my money. It was a great education.
5 people like this
@sugartoes (43246)
• Greencastle, Indiana
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 the ones that either drink or smoke their money up & not do what needs to be done with their money as in supporting their family& paying their bills don't deserve a hand out I KNOW that sounds mean & cruel but it's true cause once you start handing YOUR $ out then they think you owe it to them & THAT'S just not right either.
4 people like this
@sugartoes (43246)
• Greencastle, Indiana
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 yep see, so let them support themselves & let them think & feel what they want when you don't give in cause YOU KNOW your doing them a favor to wake up & get straight.
4 people like this
@rakski (23511)
• Philippines
24 Oct
As a mother, I do that. I am on the last in my list always. And if there comes a time that I really like and need something, I buy it for myself.
5 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
The only time I buy for myself is when I really need something. I didn't really need the sweatshirt I bought but it was for my birthday so I splurged. If you can call $15 a splurge lol
3 people like this
@playertwo (1297)
24 Oct
i usually always buy myself a bunch of stuff too. i shop on the internet.
3 people like this
@rakski (23511)
• Philippines
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 Once in a while we can do that.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (22166)
• United States
24 Oct
I don't have a lot. I pay my bills first and then buy groceries. I had a huge dental bill ( they don't take my insurance) and helped a relative with big bills. I give to my church and a couple of other concerns. I buy some clothes at a thrift store. I earn Amazon cards online so I can buy books.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I can't go to church but I would love to. I work the overnight shift from 9pm to 3pm the following day, taking care of my nephew. Whenever they have people collecting donations for the homeless or veterans, I donate at least $5 each time.
3 people like this
@akalinus (22166)
• United States
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 That is a 16-hour shift. You must be exhausted. Take care of you.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct
@akalinus I'm trying. It is sometimes very exhausting trying to make sure everyone else is happy. Not much time to focus on myself.
@cintol (8319)
• United States
24 Oct
I do that all the time, there is nothing I need but if my kids or grand kids need something I will get it for them if I can. I shop like you, nothing expensive and lots on sale and when I buy for Christmas I listen during the year to what they want and when I can get it on sale, I do and put it away. No one has a right to judge you or how you spend your money.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
My hope for this year is that I can get most of those on my list done before Black Friday. Not sure if I will be going to the walmart sale this year unless there is something I would really like to get someone.
2 people like this
@cintol (8319)
• United States
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 My daughter loves the black Friday sales, I prefer the Cyber Monday, its much easier and I don't have to fight the crowds.
2 people like this
@cintol (8319)
• United States
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 Thats a good price, my grand daughters like those as well. Yeah, if there are things you can use there than thats a good reason to go, you can save a lot of money that way. I just hate fighting the crowds and traffic and now we are in a small town so I can't imagine what it will be like here. Tablets are nice to have and you can usually find one for a reasonable price. I hope you can get one this year.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (21431)
• United States
24 Oct
I think that the holidays are getting way over commercialized. Anyway - is the complainer on your gift list? Ask if she, in the spirit of looking out for your finances, would mind not receiving a gift from you, then. I'm fairly low on funds. Therefore I start Christmas shopping year round. That way I don't have to spend a whole big load in December. I suppose your complainer would say I'm wealthy because I start so early. Anyway! I pay my bills, and then I like to go out to eat, - that I think it smy biggest $ spending vice
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I think I spend way too much on eating out lol. I tend to eat out instead of cook most days. the complainers, both of them, are on my xmas buy list this year.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (21431)
• United States
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 Lol! Give them a card that says "due to your concern over my finances - I have opted to give you a card only this year" or something lol. I agree. I do cook here, but I do a lot of going out to eat. I think that is the biggest non-essential spending that I do
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
@FayeHazel I could probably put alot more away for savings and things like that if we didn't eat out as much as we do. But it's hard to cook something that everyone will enjoy. I make awesome BLTs but my daughter wont eat them. I make Chili and a person in my house says its too spicy. And then there are the leftovers. No matter what we cook, there is usually leftovers and NO ONE in my house except for me will touch the leftovers.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (46255)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Oct
Sounds to me like you got life all figured out. They should be applauding you, not talking smack. You have figured out how to spend less than you earn, something the majority of Americans have no clue how to do. And because you are smart in this sense, you have disposable income to play with. I commend you.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
Thank you :) It is rough at times. I'll see something I would like. I've been eyeing this really nice camera for YEARS but I just won't spend that much on myself.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (46255)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 I know exactly what you mean. I always forego nice things for myself so that I can provide nice things for others. But every now and then, you do have to pamper yourself. I hope that you are able to get that camera someday! Of course, when I do splurge on myself (which is rare), I often feel guilty afterward.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
@moffittjc I hope so too. Photography is a stress relieving hobby of mine and even with my iphone I can nice pics but with the camera I want, I can zoom in. I can take stills of birds flying. It's an awesome camera. The last time I really splurged on myself, I felt so guilty that I ended up giving what I bought away to family members or donating it. I had spent $50 on two shirts, a pair of shorts and about 6 pairs of underwear. My sister made me feel so guilty that she couldn't afford "nice things" that she ended up getting the shirts I bought (only to return them to the store to get the cash) and my daughter ended up getting probably 4 pairs of the underwear as we wore the same size at the time.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (55260)
• United States
24 Oct
It's a shame she didn't mind you buying lunch but did mind you getting a tshirt. Also do they make that money for you? No? So it isn't their business how you spend it, or save it. And just because they can't afford stuff - Christmas time or not - doesn't mean you have to not give out gifts or anything. We have little money but we still go out to eat, go bowling, go to fairs, see a movie, or buy clothes when we see cheap things we like or just need new clothes once in awhile. And buy things for others when they need, especially kids. As we're not alive to just make money, pay rent and bills, and die. We're here to have fun and help others out too. So even if our bills dont get paid for a month, we're okay as we know our bills will be paid eventually. (We've never had a shut off notice on anything). Everyones different. And people need to stop acting like everyone has to do things like them, or that it's bad for people to spend their own money on whatever the heck they want.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I agree. I work hard for my money and I do buy things for other people. Some are appreciative but some take advantage. I guess I just need to learn not to let people get to me.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (55260)
• United States
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 that's the same with people we know and help to. some we had to stop helping because they used us. yet they had no problem complaining about us using our money to see movies or go to eat. smh.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
@Courtlynn I don't understand people like that. It's one thing to need help but to use others. It makes me mad when my sister tries to use me for money or to clean her house when she is fully capable to do it herself. That takes time away from people who I could really help. I have a friend that had back surgery last year and just found out that she may need another one. She is going to need someone there to help her so I can't waste my time on my sister's laziness.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (104183)
• United States
24 Oct
You know how to budget and you know what makes you feel good. . . buying for others.I have had people judge me this was as well. And I DO know what it is like not to have money.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
I also know what it's like not to have money. There have been times where I've wanted to do things and not have the funds to do it but I pushed through. Now I am able to help some people. Not as many as I would like but a few here and there.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (104183)
• United States
25 Oct
2 people like this
@nela13 (9434)
• Portugal
24 Oct
I do the same, I only buy things when I really need it and if they are on sale but just like you if my kids need something i just buy it right away. I have laready listen some people saying that i am lucky because I have money but i only have money because I save it and I am careful with my expensses.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Oct
I am the same way. All my money goes into my account or into one of the two money banks I have in my room. One for summer vacation and one for KK's chore money.
3 people like this
@nela13 (9434)
• Portugal
24 Oct
@CountryGirl31 we put some money in a saving account every month and usually we dont need To use It when we go on holidays because our salaries are enough To pay It.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (24235)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 Oct
I have friends in a wide variety of financial situations, from those who are barely surviving in low-cost senior housing to those who are very wealthy and travel all the time. I appreciate being friends with people for who I am, not how much money I may or may not have. I also like people for who they are, not how much money they have or what they might be able to do for me. If I had friends who made comments about my finances, good or bad, I would distance myself from them a bit, or reexamine our relationship. Am I making them uncomfortable. As to your question, I buy things for my own kids, but rarely for the children of someone else. I have a good reason for that. When one of my daughters was a teen, she had a very wealthy friend. My daughter wanted a $250 purse, which I would not buy her. A few days later, her friend's mother bought it for our daughter. That made me uncomfortable. It made me feel as if I had to buy something extra nice for her friend for her upcoming birthday. It didn't make me happy, and my daughter quickly forgot about the purse. I let parents decide what their children can have, based on their own situation. I try not to jump into the middle of it.
3 people like this
@mesbakh (2370)
• Indonesia
25 Oct
i have seen some people like that
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I've encountered many people like that. And my circle is very small. There is maybe one or two people in my whole circle that actually spend time with me because they enjoy it,not for what they could get out of it or me.
2 people like this
@mesbakh (2370)
• Indonesia
25 Oct
@CountryGirl31 i want be one of that
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct
@mesbakh One of my circle?
@ramapo17 (25832)
• Melbourne, Florida
25 Oct
My kids always came first. I worked all of my life from when I was in school until I retired. For years I worked a full time 40 hour week as well as 4 part time jobs. I loved each job so it wasn't that bad but every job was standing. I am now a senior citizen and and miss working. I always believed if I wanted something more than I could afford I worked for it.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Oct
My job is part time but I also have several small businesses that I try to earn extra money from. One is a pearl business but it hasn't been doing well so I'm starting to sell it all off. :(
1 person likes this
@ramapo17 (25832)
• Melbourne, Florida
26 Oct
@CountryGirl31 What is a pearl business? Where do you get the pearls from?
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct
@ramapo17 It's where people buy an oyster from me, I open it for them and then they get to choose a necklace to put it in. There are so many colors now. I have a few suppliers in various places.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12865)
• Paso Robles, California
25 Oct
I have been very fortunate to have what I need in life, but we still struggle with the bills every month. We are property rich and cash poor. We earn our money with rentals since we retired, but those investments take money to keep making money. And if a property goes vacant, a third of our income disappears until we have a new tenant. I try to buy just what we need and our meals our and vacations are few and far between.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I don't think I have had a real vacation in years but I'm planning one for this coming summer. It may only be for a week but I'm hoping it will be fun.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12865)
• Paso Robles, California
30 Oct
@CountryGirl31 I hope it happens and you have a wonderful time.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Oct
@bagarad Well, it looks like we will be changing it again. We were planning a trip to visit KK's bio mom and sister in Tenn because they were going to be moving back there this weekend. Well, now they're not and KK isn't too happy about them staying either.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18137)
• Japan
25 Oct
Anything for the kids is a priority. But somehow, I always end up saying 'I gotta buy something for myself since I work hard blah blah.'
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
I tell myself that all the time and usually what I buy myself is a $4 tank top.
1 person likes this
@playertwo (1297)
24 Oct
Believe me i have a 14 year old niece and i spoil the heck out of her.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
My daughter is 17. She is actually my cousin but she is in my care now and I tend to try to spoil her but she is the best kid. If she has 10 presents under the tree, she is happy. One year, I wrapped up 3 pairs of earbuds seperately, a 12pk of orange soda, beef jerky and snack cakes along with a few nice gifts. She just likes opening presents and doesn't really ask for anything expensive.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (43246)
• Greencastle, Indiana
24 Oct
very GOOD question, What do you do with your money? some don't have enough $ to put away & save, SOME don't think about what $ they have to pay the bills 1st, they just spend it & complain about it But Me & my husband, that's the 1st thing we do is pay the bills & what's LEFT is JUST enough to get the other stuff we need to get by on till our next pay day comes around to finish up the REST of the bills & do the WHOLE thing again every pay day. MOST of our $ is on bills & we get them paid off & out of the way for the month. what $ is left after that is on gas for the car dog food a 100 lbs for the month & lunch/diner for the day at a buffet place where we get our $'s worth as a treat. The REST of the month we eat on what I can trow together for a few weeks like spaghetti-stews-potato salads-chicken & noddles with veggies or dumplings we don't spend just to be spending, the bills takes MOST the money every 2-3 wks.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct
With me, when I get paid, it goes right into the bank. I pay my bills and then I take out a certain amount to put in each of my money banks. One for summer vacation and one for my daughter's chores and then I transfer some into my savings account. After that, I know how much I can spend on other things.
1 person likes this