At my lowest point.

@JustBhem (70555)
Davao, Philippines
November 8, 2018 8:31pm CST
I don't know how to deal with all the changes in me. With my shrinking body and bloated face. I don't think I can manage to make myself feel comfortable. I even hated the way I walk now. My fingers are in different shape now too. My feet are aching with few steps. All of them are hard. And I don't think it's challenging for me, they are all miserable for me. I don't think I am ready to face these changes. I don't even think I am ready to see other people. Now, I regret one of my choices instead I should listen to my own voice other than listening to others. Anything new here?
15 people like this
15 responses
Anna
@LadyDuck (457822)
• Switzerland
9 Nov 18
I was going to ask the same question as Dianne, I have seen your reply now. You should always listen to your own voice, the others are not in your shoes.
4 people like this
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
9 Nov 18
@LadyDuck , I agree with Anna here, you should always listen to your OWN VOICE.
2 people like this
Anna
@LadyDuck (457822)
• Switzerland
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem Try not to stress, take care.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
Yes, Anna. I feel awful, really. Just give me time to sort my thoughts.
4 people like this
DianneN
@DianneN (246525)
• United States
9 Nov 18
What choices? I'm truly sorry.
4 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
By having my own space before. Now I regretted it.
4 people like this
DianneN
@DianneN (246525)
• United States
9 Nov 18
1 person likes this
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem Your own space? Did you move?
rsa101
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
Everyday that our Creator gives you air to breathe and be with loved ones is an opportunity for you to make it better. I really do not know how to comfort you because I am not in your shoe. But keep the faith that all of this will pass away.
3 people like this
rsa101
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem I truly understand you of course. It was really hard for me to write those words because of your ordeal. I am not in your situation that is why its hard to be in a state of grateful bliss under such a condition.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@rsa101 Thanks for your understanding. I know I will be okay in time.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
I know those phrases and yes, I am thankful but it's not enough. I'm human, I can feel distressed and depress.
4 people like this
Ruby Hawk
@RubyHawk (99425)
• Atlanta, Georgia
9 Nov 18
I’m So sorry. Wish I could say something’s to make you feel better but nobody knows what you feel but you.Sometimes we need to let go and grieve, just to let it out.
3 people like this
Marlina
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem , glad that you could cry and fall asleep. It does help.
Ruby Hawk
@RubyHawk (99425)
• Atlanta, Georgia
10 Nov 18
@JustBhem Sometimes a good cry is the best thing you can do for yourself.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
Yes, I have beeb crying last night. And fall asleep after.
2 people like this
Thelma
@thelme55 (76476)
• Germany
9 Nov 18
Sorry to hear about that. How I wish you will get better.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Nov 18
Thanks for your concern Thelma, I will get better soon.
1 person likes this
Thelma
@thelme55 (76476)
• Germany
16 Nov 18
@JustBhem I pray to God that you will be.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Nov 18
@thelme55 Thank you, Thelma.
1 person likes this
Simone
@Janet357 (75656)
•
9 Nov 18
What did the doctor say? After how many days before you can recover from it?
3 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
I don't know. I haven't talked to a Specialist yet.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@Janet357 I will try just the same thing I always do.
1 person likes this
Simone
@Janet357 (75656)
•
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem i’m sorry for this. But don’t lose hope. Be brave! Find some alternativesl
1 person likes this
Amber
@AmbiePam (85417)
• United States
9 Nov 18
Oh dear. I am so sorry. Are you getting any emotional support? I'll be praying for you.
2 people like this
Amber
@AmbiePam (85417)
• United States
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem Where is your boyfriend?
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
Yes, from myself. Thanks for the prayer.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@AmbiePam In their house I guess.
marguicha
@marguicha (215325)
• Chile
9 Nov 18
Talk to your boyfriend. You.are not alone.
2 people like this
marguicha
@marguicha (215325)
• Chile
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem. I am so sorry. But it must be hard for him too.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
He seemed like he does not understand me sometimes.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@marguicha I know. I can see that.
Always smiling
@allknowing (130066)
• India
9 Nov 18
That must be due to fluid retention. Your dialysis should take care of that May be you can talk about it with the technician/doctor. It is a matter of getting used to what you are going through and time will help you do that.
1 person likes this
Always smiling
@allknowing (130066)
• India
10 Nov 18
@JustBhem I understand your problem is not common but everyone at some point in their life have to get used to whatever they are growing through. I do that too. It is better that way.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Nov 18
I will try to get by with these troubles I have.
solxee
@sol_cee (38223)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Nov 18
Yes, Sol. Sad life I have.
@acelawrites
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
So sorry about your condition; but though I know how hard it is, just pray that you'll get comfortable soon.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
Comfortable? I will try. Thanks for the prayers.
Frederick Espiritu
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
Hopefully, everything will turn out well, my friend. I know stages like that is part of the ferris wheel of life.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
I've been there and still wheeling.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@simplfred Strong? I'm so weak at this point.
1 person likes this
Frederick Espiritu
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem "Stay Strong, my friend"...
1 person likes this
Christina Ladanger
@Ladanger (14582)
• United States
9 Nov 18
What exactly happened to you? Did you get diagnosed with something?
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
@Ladanger And I will in time.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
9 Nov 18
I get a lot of diagnoses.
2 people like this
Christina Ladanger
@Ladanger (14582)
• United States
9 Nov 18
@JustBhem same here. We must be strong.
1 person likes this
dave
@dave121495 (1296)
• Philippines
17 Nov 18
Do you mean your afraid of people because they might see you differently?
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Nov 18
Yes, I am afraid of what people will say to me since I'm becoming the ugliest. My physical formation is changing. And I hated it.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Nov 18
@dave121495 Indeed. Like I'm okay with Dialysis forever but changing my physical appearance, I don't like it.
dave
@dave121495 (1296)
• Philippines
17 Nov 18
@JustBhem I know the feeling, i have this huge scar on my forehead, sometimes I think i'm just ugly. Anyway as Ms. Diannen said personality tops looks.
1 person likes this
Icydoll
@Icydoll (36717)
• India
9 Nov 18
You will be always in prayers . hopefully you will feel better dear
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Nov 18
Thank you Icydoll. You've been a good friend.
1 person likes this