I exist!

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Normally that is a little joke that I say when I am missed a turn in a game or I hear people talking and they realized I was sitting there the entire time, so I say, "I exist!" I get it, I am a little invisible. I am pretty quiet, I keep to myself, mostly because I have terrible social anxiety and also I try not to attract too much attention because I am very, very insecure. Don't get me wrong, being a Leo I LOVE attention. That's why I try to get people to read my webcomic, like please validate me! But I don't like too much attention because I'm a chubby person and I feel like that is all people thing about. Lately, I feel like I just don't exist. At least to some of my family. Last night we were invited to a restaurant because my uncle knew the guy who owned the place and I'll talk more about the place later, but my uncle had a reservation for 4. So that would be my uncle, aunt, grandma, and my mamma. I hear him mutter out when talking to a host, "It's supposed to be 5," and I hear him mutter, "I forgot about Felicia." I laughed it off because I had to do my joke of, "I EXIST!" Then my grandma says, "You are still considered a kid, kids are always forgotten." and then my stomach sort of sank from that. For the reason being, 1. I am still considered a kid? I understand my grandma seeing me as a kid because grandparents don't see their grandkids grow up. I still act very childishly (as I write this I am holding my stuffed panda and occasionally going after my stuffed alpaca). So I understand that. But to be considered a kid to anyone else, that is really hurtful. I'm 23! I have my Bachelor's degree! I work! Yes, I don't own my own place or know how to drive, but I'm still an adult! and 2. The word forgotten. That really got to me because that just made me feel so invisible. Because this isn't the first time I was forgotten. I have been left behind, sometimes a place isn't set for me at the table at family gatherings, and even in school teachers and students just didn't acknowledge me. I still try to play it off as a joke saying, "I exist," but I can't help that it gets to me a little bit. No one likes to be invisible. No one wants to be forgotten.