Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve 2018

Tweet

MyLot Exclusive #75 “Here in Britain, of course, it's Thank Frack We Got Those Weird Jesus Freaks On The Boat Day.” ? Warren Ellis I have to apologize to Mr. Ellis for changing two words in his quote about Thanksgiving. I hope he's not too upset but MyLot insisted, so I had no choice. But, even with the changes, it still serves as a perfect intro to today's Theme, A Salute To Puritans. As Warren alluded to, the Puritans are not what you would call popular people. Here or in England...And, despite his wishful thinking, England didn't unload all of them on the Colonies. And they are still causing problems there and here in the form of overbearing government control (Though far more here, so well played, England) that they started. But you know me, I prefer to dwell on the positive rather than the negative. So I'm not going to talk about them micromanaging the lives of everyone in New England (Nor about how in many ways they are still doing it) or about how they invented Thanksgiving (Maybe, it probably actually started in Virginia) and banned the celebration of Christmas (For all the wrong reasons). Instead, I'm going to focus on what a paradise they created for masochists. Think of it. You could be publicly whipped and/or put in the stocks simply for doing as little as swearing in public or heckling a Preacher. There were quite a few crimes in that category. And if that wasn't enough, you could commit a more serious crime and get branded or have your ears cut off. There were many others, too. I don't have time to go over any of them but I will say that they really liked ball gags. And like all their other punishments, the gagging was done in public. The Puritans didn't invent any of those things, of course, but they added a certain flair to them. And if you consider only the masochists in the population, it was an almost Utopian society. If severely nonconsensual torture isn't your thing, it would have been pretty horrible but like I said, I'm not going to talk about that. Or anything else, for that matter, cause I'm out of time now. Wait. My friend Hester just asked me to mention that what they did to unwed mothers was especially heinous...Unless you're into public humiliation. Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve!