Searching, Searching, Found!

@Courtlynn (55134)
United States
December 4, 2018 10:38pm CST
When I joined here over a year ago, I had mentioned that I'm the oldest of two kids at home (by my mom), but the middle-ish child of about nine kids (by my "dad"). And that out of those nine-ish kids, I've only known one, which is the one that's in a relationship with my daughters "father". And well.. although I never felt unloved, or like anything was ever missing in my life, I did often wonder how old they actually were, what they looked like, if they knew about me/us, etc. So about ten years ago, I decided to start searching for all of my half siblings.. But unfortunately, I could never find any of them. Even with one of my "dads" sisters in laws help. That is, until now As over this past weekend, my mom and I randomly started looking them up again. And although it was midnight, my "dads" sister in law was on Facebook, so I messaged her with a question.. and from there the three of us sat online, with my mom and I also rereading through the evaluation packet that was done on my "dad" one year, that he sent her years ago, until 430am trying to find even one of the siblings. And to our surprise, we did! Or well, mostly. As just as we were all getting ready to head to bed, my Aunt messaged me a whitepages link that had one of my half sisters names, phone numbers and addresses on it. Which we of course double checked before getting all excited, by seeing who her family on it was, and oh my word! It was her! And not only that, but, she's been living HERE this whole time! This is crazy! And I've just been a big ball of emotions from it. Which is showing a lot, because now that I've (mostly) found her.. I'm not all that sure that I want to get in touch with her anymore.. (there's a huge reason behind that that only about four people here know about). However, my mom, aunt and I are all still searching for my other siblings, and I can't wait to hopefully get in touch with them!
15 people like this
19 responses
@moffittjc (47555)
• Gainesville, Florida
5 Dec
Whether you ever meet them in person or not, sometimes it can be a relief and a blessing just to know that they are out there. I think our human nature makes us curious to know who our kinship is. Good luck in your search for the other family members.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
I always knew they were out there, just didnt know how they where or where they were, if they knew about us too etc. Plus now the oldest are about 40 so its like do they have kids, etc. Plus, are there any health issues i should know about etc. You know. Thanks
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (47555)
• Gainesville, Florida
8 Dec
@Courtlynn You bring up a great point. I never thought about the health issues impact. Yes, it would be important to know if there are any family histories of diseases or ailments that may potentially affect you down the road. Are you just looking them up, or are you going to contact any of them?
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
12 Dec
@moffittjc I always wanted to contact them, when I was growing up. Just to see how they are, if they have kids, family health history, and if they knew about us; and if not - if they did would they have tried to find us.. you know. but now, I have no idea.. I kinda want to for the one I found, but theres a big reason behind why its only kinda.. the others, im more towards talking to because theres really no reason not to, besides the fear of rejection. though Im not really lacking anything, either way. you know?
1 person likes this
@Starmaiden (7799)
• Canada
5 Dec
Meeting half siblings for the first time can be awkward. I have two half siblings that I never knew about until I was well into my 30's. I was in my 40's when I met them. It is hard to let them all of the way in, but I do accept them and call them my siblings.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
5 Dec
It's not even about the meeting part for me. I wish it was that easy of a reason. That's great you got to meet yours though.
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (148139)
• United States
5 Dec
I am sorry I won't be able to finish the post. I am only here to say I am wishing the best for you in whatever your heart is dealing with. There are some battles just not easy to manage. I don't think there is a word anyone could say or at least me for the part that lost me. I am sure Jenn would be of great support for you. Bless you, tonight. I an only hoping you can understand my not being able to read the post. I am at least honest.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
5 Dec
Although I don't see where or how you got lost, as it's an easy little story; I am glad you commented with honesty and well wishes. Thank you,
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (148139)
• United States
5 Dec
@Courtlynn You are welcome and thank you as well.
2 people like this
@shaggin (39929)
• United States
6 Dec
@sharon6345 I'm not sure what part you had a hard time finishing either it seemed to all make sense to me. Do you usually read shorter posts maybe so following a long one is hard to stay focused on? I know reading books can be hard for people with bipolar. That is what a psychologist told me. I don't have trouble focusing in books as long as it's quiet.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (37703)
• Onaway, Michigan
5 Dec
I wish you well I hope you find your other siblings.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Thank you Tina
@Tina30219 (37703)
• Onaway, Michigan
7 Dec
@Courtlynn Your welcome
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (46575)
5 Dec
@Courtlynn Good luck in finding the others.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Thank you
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (46575)
9 Dec
@Courtlynn You are welcome.
1 person likes this
@just4him (132954)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
5 Dec
I'm sorry it took so long. I'm glad you were able to find one and hope you do get in touch with her.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
You may not hope that if you knew the reason, but im still thinking about it
1 person likes this
@just4him (132954)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Dec
• United States
5 Dec
that is great that you did find one....and best of luck with your search in finding the rest of your siblings!
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Thank you
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (35358)
• Canada
5 Dec
Hopefully you will have some other "finds" online and feel better.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
I hope so, fingers are tired of being crossed for 10years.
1 person likes this
@Janet357 (6841)
5 Dec
I hope you find them. It’s great to see your flesh and blood.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
5 Dec
Thanks. Maybe one day.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (14020)
• Marion, Ohio
5 Dec
Hope you find more of them and wishing you luck on which ever you decide. To meet or not.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
5 Dec
Thank you!!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (39929)
• United States
6 Dec
I knew you had a lot of siblings on your father's side but didn't realize you had never met so many of them. I think all the work you did to search for them is awesome. It must be neat to see what they look like after wondering for so many years about them. Genetics are funny... My late husbands mother looked just like her half sister but looked nothing like her full blood sister. I would wonder why they never searched for you or maybe they did and couldn't find you or were to nervous to get in touch with you. If you do decide to contact then maybe send a letter instead of a message just to make it more personal.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Yeah, only met the devil one. Another passed when he was two, from choking on vomit in his sleep when he was sick. The others, never met. Have always known about them though. The one i found, knew about me, as what i told you happened, was when i was 3. Whether she put it out of her mind or remembers, is another story. Which also makes it hard for me to want to contact her. Ive only seen a few photos of her and her daughter, on fb.. as they have many fbs and few photos on each. But her daughter, i think, looks like me and the devil sister. Not so much her though.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
@shaggin Unfortunately, people say I look like him. Especially with the nose and big forehead. Though others say I look like my mom too. I do know I got my thick annoying hair from his side of the family.. as thin hair runs in my moms. Yes, I cried when I found out as a kid, without even knowing him.. guess from that, not being able to ever know him.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (39929)
• United States
7 Dec
@Courtlynn I never noticed you having a big forehead but I know friends of my sister and I when we were young saying our forehead is weird because it’s big and curves. They always commented on our hair not being silky like theirs. Their mom was a hairdresser always said we needed mearl Norman shampoo and conditioner. Those girls hair was as straight as could be so it’s only normal our hair wouldn’t look silky and tame like theirs. Plus that shampoo and conditioner was costly my mom wasn’t going to buy it for the 3 women in the house. It really doesn’t matter what products I have used on my hair the past 10 years my hair still looks the same. Might as well go with the cheapest option with those results.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37984)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Dec
i guess sometimes it's just nice to know them a bit. or about them. i knew about most of my dads kids but only got to meet one once and the other 2 i knew about didn't answer my letters back then 50 yrs ago. lol found out about a couple more but never got the chance to communicate with them. my dad had several girlfriends and 3 wives so no idea how to even find them back then
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
my "dad" had multiple gfs, starting at age 14, and two or three wives. nine + kids, but only has one in his life, his youngest. don't know why her mom is letting him around her though. I wouldn't. Sorry you never heard back from your siblings. it happens, unfortunately. as although its not the other kids fault, the siblings just don't want to get in touch.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37984)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Dec
@Courtlynn some people seem not to be "family " orientated like us. my mom did not care either who was related etc. my aunt did. i took after her. you have a good mom that cares about family so you are more like her.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
@bunnybon7 I mean, that's true, that not all people are family orientated. but that doesn't mean that's why people don't want to know their half siblings.. or even adopted birth siblings. Because I'm sure lots of them are family orientated too, but just don't want to change their lives for people they don't know. etc.. only they know why they don't want to have anything to do with their birth family.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (27614)
• United States
6 Dec
I wish you luck finding them. My husband had 6 siblings through his mom and and seven more half siblings through his dad. He has no idea where the 7 with his dad are and has never met them.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
That makes me so sad. I dont want to never find them, or have to wait til im much older or when its too late for it to happen. Thanks
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (27614)
• United States
7 Dec
@Courtlynn it's very sad
1 person likes this
@DianneN (92603)
• United States
16 Dec
I hope you have good luck in finding them.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
17 Dec
Thank you
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105555)
• United States
15 Dec
Wow, how complicated and such mixed feelings over all of it. People can be really rotten sometimes, or at least difficult.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
15 Dec
Thank you! Glad someone gets it. Everyone seems to just think i should jump to meeting her.
@LeaPea2417 (23325)
• Toccoa, Georgia
9 Dec
Now that you found her, it is good just to know she exists even though you don't want to meet her. Do you have a picture of her?
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
12 Dec
I already knew she existed though.. have known since I was like 5.. my mom didn't keep that stuff from us. Just the ones I found on her 5+ facebooks.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50465)
• United States
7 Dec
That is so cool! I would be so nervous/excited. I hope you get to meet her if you want to.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
thank you.. still trying to figure it out.. wish this was easier.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Dec
That certainly would be a Christmas miracle if you found them. It's hard to decide what further steps to take but I wish you well with it all
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Yes it would. I need to see if my aunts found anything out on the others yet or not. Thank you.
@jstory07 (72480)
• Roseburg, Oregon
6 Dec
I hope you are able to finish the search and will find more half siblings.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55134)
• United States
7 Dec
Thank you Judy
1 person likes this