That darned fire is on my mind!!!!

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It's been a miserable few days. My mind has been on the fire and my house burning down. It's been 14 months and 6 days since the fire and everything is at a dead standstill. And my mind keeps wandering to the fire. Maybe I should explain. I live out in the country by a lake, Lake Nacimiento to be exact. Some bright and shining light decided that the map of the lake looks like a dragon, so we refer to it as a dragon. Well if you look at the map, I live in the dragons as.... well up his pucker string. It takes about 20 to 30 minutes for our local Cal Fire (forestry) to get to a blaze in our neighborhood. There isn't much of anything close by, we're 30 miles from civilization. I should clarify first, that my fire is NOT one of the wild fires that struck California over the past few years. My fire wasn't allowed to get out of hand by some fast thinking and even faster responding neighbors and friends. Without their intervention and fast work there would have been a LOT more lost than just two houses and a roof! On October 2, 2017 we had a power outage, which isn't unusual for living in the country. But when the power came on it came on with a massive surge, which isn't usual for this area. The surge was so powerful that it blew sparks from one of the power poles. As my neighbors stated the sparks rivaled Disneyland after dark and their fireworks. Well, unfortunately, the sparks did damage. They started a house on fire. Mine! I wasn't home at the time, I had gone to town for a doctor's appointment. When we got about 20 miles from my home I could see the smoke, one long pillar, rising into the air. I knew in my gut that it was my home. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't, that it was someone burning brush but it didn't work. We got to the gate to the main community and it was open (big hint!) we got across the creek we need to cross and to the gate to our community and that gate was open and the fire sign was up...final hint. Bill (my boyfriend) drove on and we were stopped by the highway patrol and asked if we lived in the area and if we had I.D. Bill proceeded to produce his but the mystery was solved for me, it was my house on fire!!!!! I bolted from the car and raced down the hill towards my house. The cops didn't have a fighting chance to stop me. I raced through my gate and for the house, I had to save my animals!!! I got to the door and almost had it open when I was tackled by 5 burly firemen. They hauled me away from the burning structure, which was now a total loss, and told me it was too late for the animals that they died from smoke inhalation first and felt no pain...no it was me who gets to feel the pain and guilt from leaving them alone in the house to pass away. Most of the rest of it is a blank because I went into shock. I was in shock for several weeks, but I do know that my beloved boyfriend Bill took me in. All I had left was my handbag and the clothes on my back. It's been a long struggle from that date. A lot of people have helped me in one way or another. From people donating items that they knew I would need to people offering me vehicles to use (my Subaru was destroyed in the fire). I am slowly rebuilding my Teddy Bear making business, I have containers of acrylic, mohair, and recycled mink furs waiting to be made into bears. I bought a wonderful sewing machine from @bagarad who lives not too far from me...well she lives in the nearest town where my Post Office is located. I named the sewing machine for her mother who obviously was a wonderful person to not only have such a great machine but also have such a great daughter. Anyway the bear in my avatar is one of my creations that a neighbor had bought from me at a craft show and she gave it back to me and it is highly treasured. The only problem is I manage to pick up occupations that are messy as anything!!! I look around the livingroom of Bill's home and it is stacked with Rubbermaid containers of fur and Ultrasuede (for paws and soles). Bill has always been a very neat person. Oh well, he's adjusting. I am still without a car, that's going to take time. When I tried out the Subaru it virtually reached out and hugged me! It had been a wonderful car and a super friend. Unfortunately we took Bill's Mustang to the doctor's appointment and left the Subaru at home. So now I am busily looking for another small 4 cylinder piece of love on 4 wheels. (Oh, that was a really disgusting thing, I had just put 4 brand new tires on the car!!! They didn't have even 50 miles on them!!!! So power company has to burn them up with the car!) I am working at restitution. It takes time. If the power company doesn't contact me within the next 45 days I will see about hiring an attorney. Between the house, my animals, my business supplies, and everything else I owned it amounted to close to $600,000 in loss not to mention the damages and the costs of rebuilding. And I sit here wondering why I am so blue so much of the time! Wouldn't you be? There's a lot of items that can't ever be replaced, like father's WWII photo album. The home movies and pictures of relatives and family that are no longer with us. Father in his Navy uniform and the professional picture that my cousin Dave took. There's a lot of pain involved in the fire...and for those of you that think that the people who had their homes burned to the ground are having a fun time, think again. There is a lot of loss and grief from those flames. The biggest thing is the amount of pain, grief and suffering that was brought about by the fire. It isn't funny, or cute or something that we're going to make a LOT of money from. It's plain pure destruction that hurts people in more ways that is comfortable to count. So, during this season of giving, instead of dishing out comments about what people are going to make from the fires (they're going to be lucky if they get anything from them...I'm included in that group and I'm not rich and I don't have insurance to cover the costs.) how about opening your wallets and dishing out a few bucks to help the relief efforts. It would help the people's spirits to know that there are people out in the world that really do care.