Survived X-mas.....Barely

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My sister said she was coming on Monday morning early so I got the 3 cats put up with another 4 in my bedroom on Sunday night. She calls Monday 'late' afternoon to say she's running behind schedule. Seriously???? She calls 'Tuesday' 'late' afternoon to say she'd be here about 3:15 and we could get the ham in the oven and be ready to eat about 5:15. She gets here and I put the ham in the oven while she unloads the car along with her 2 dogs. At 5:15 when we should have already started the potatoes, she decides I should take some pictures of her with her Ipad. Well that didn't work worth a crap. So by now it's 6:30pm. I'm ready to faint, my back is screaming and she's complaining because she says it's too HOT IN THE HOUSE. Now mind you, the furnace is off, the living room windows are open, the ceiling fan is on in the living room and there is an oscillating fan pointed directly at her 4 feet away. The temp is roughly 45 degrees outside!!!!!!!!! Trying to sleep that night was like being in the Antarctic. The worst part? She seems to have a 'bowel' problem and apparently doesn't know when she's about to crap all over herself. She's showing me some photos on her Ipad and suddenly yells and starts to run down the hallway. She has crapped on my living room floor and down the hallway. Geez!!!!! I couldn't wait for her to leave on Wednesday. Of course it only took her 2 hours to load up the car with the 2 dogs. If ever there was a time for a glass of wine; it was when she pulled out of the driveway. I think I still have some hair on my head and my gun is still under my pillow!!