ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Arranged Marriage
Lagos, Nigeria
February 16, 2019 7:02am CST
This is a tradition still practiced in some part of the world and it draws mixed feelings for me. I wonder how MyLotters will view it. For me, it's like walking into a restaurant to get food and all you see in the background is swimming gears here and there. Tell us what you feel about it .
15 people like this
16 responses
@debjani1 (7207)
16 Feb 19
I don't have any negative thoughts about traditional marriage. I also had it. My parents selected the groom for me. Then I date him for some months. We both liked each other and we got married.
3 people like this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
16 Feb 19
Exactly, in India, nowadays people don't blindly marry someone in the name of traditions.. for us arranged marriage is more like an arrangement of love.. If both people like each other, then they get married..
2 people like this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
@Sheali It means Courtship can be arranged while marriage is up to them if they like each other eventually right?
1 person likes this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
Sounds great @debjani1
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325594)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Feb 19
I have read that some people are very happy with the idea. I guess it depends on how you're brought up.
3 people like this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
@JudyEv Surely, the background is a key factor supporting it or fighting it.
1 person likes this
@Aquitaine24 (11653)
• San Jose, California
3 Mar 19
They don't have to date or worry about the potential mate's background.The parents are supposed to know how to find that out, I guess.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325594)
• Rockingham, Australia
17 Feb 19
@LLavish Yes, I agree.
1 person likes this
@just4him (305864)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Feb 19
Everything I've read about arranged marriages tells me I wouldn't like it. I don't like someone arranging my life for me. I'm a take charge person. Someone else having that option on my life doesn't sit well. I prefer to find someone I love and care about than to live with someone who dictates my life from the moment I say I do.
2 people like this
@Aquitaine24 (11653)
• San Jose, California
3 Mar 19
Yes,for Americans that would be strange
1 person likes this
@just4him (305864)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Feb 19
@Sheali I'm glad the couple has a say in the decision.
1 person likes this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
16 Feb 19
Nowadays, in India, people try to know each other before they actually get married and even though it is an arranged set up, whether 2 people will get married or not, depends on their decision also.. This is true in any educated family. I am not sure about rural areas. There, sometimes they have many rigid rules
2 people like this
• New Delhi, India
17 Feb 19
There is a concept called vibes. If you get some positive vibes from a person then, maybe you will soon feel connected to the person you want to spend your entire life with.
2 people like this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
16 Feb 19
Nowadays, in India, people try to know each other before they actually get married and even though it is an arranged set up, whether 2 people will get married or not, depends on their decision also.. This is true in any educated family. I am not sure about rural areas. There, sometimes they have many rigid rules
2 people like this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
16 Feb 19
@LLavish No.. it is good.. Just think marrying someone whom you don't know and then figuring out that you are not compatible at all.. I know you need to adjust but it is better to know someone and find out if you are drastically different or not.. I think this is being progressive.. It is not good to force someone to marry just to keep traditions alive.. Earlier, traditionally people used to follow their parents' occupation and a farmer was a farmer and was not allowed to be a part of the upper class and get educated.. if we can change that, then why not marriage, which is such an important thing in life
1 person likes this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
@Sheali (3709) Education is flushing the tradition away?
2 people like this
@Edwnjvr (85)
• South Africa
16 Feb 19
You must be able to have a connection with the other person and fall in love and get to know one another
3 people like this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
I see @Edwnjvr (79). what If it doesn't go this way whats the follow up?
1 person likes this
• Algeria
16 Feb 19
yes and thats what happen after engaging
2 people like this
@Aquitaine24 (11653)
• San Jose, California
3 Mar 19
Yes.If the marriage is arranged,the parents should choose wisely so that will happen.
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
15 Mar 19
Inhave my respects to those that still practice this tradition. But I will side with those that do not practice it and allow an individual to choose who they wanted to marry.
1 person likes this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Mar 19
respect is honourable
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
18 Feb 19
There is no way that I could do that. I have my own ideas of what and who I like and do not like.
• Agra, India
25 Feb 19
Mine was an arranged marriage and I have no regrets
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
21 Feb 19
It is still there in my country and people are happy with it. There are more successful and happy marriages and divorce is still not common. I have seen people living for more than 5 decades together and still full of love and respect for each other.
@florelway (23095)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
16 Feb 19
@LLavish, this tradition is still being practiced by some people here in my region, and most are still very young.
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Feb 19
@LLavish Tradition or not,I believe this is happening today only in rural areas,maybe not even there anymore.What do I mean about this? - Denied human rights.
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Feb 19
@LLavish 'Love at first sight' I just imagine it differently.
2 people like this
• Lagos, Nigeria
16 Feb 19
@LowRiderX In some urban areas, people opt-in for an arranged marriage. Some call it "love at first sight" it takes different shapes as you move along different time zones
2 people like this
17 Feb 19
Well, arranged marriages actually have a really good tract record of being low on the divorce rate. This may be due to the fact that both families get along well enough to arrange the marriage, which helps provide support to the couple. Also when your parents help pick out your spouse they can step back and see the flaws that you might otherwise be blind to. I will admit that my family doesn't do arranged marriages, but when I am going to pick my spouse I will get my parents support and guidance.
23 Feb 19
I feel like it is very unhuman to do that against someone's will.You should have a choice sometimes the man is even old enough to be the girls father and vice versa.But to give your daughter away to and old man is perverted and sick and it's needs to stop.Stripping someone of their rights is not right and it's not human.Everyone should have a choice.
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
16 Feb 19
A muslim friend of mine had an arranged marriage. It worked out very well. But both he and his prospective wife could have refused so I suppose it wasn't much different to being introduced by friends.
@janethwayne (5193)
• Philippines
16 Feb 19
I'm not relly favor of arranged marriage.I want that I decide and my future hubby about it and with love in our hearts of course it is very important to me.