Are you spontaneous? Or are you a planner?

Lucky You! I am not sure if I'll ever marry again, I hardly date now. If I do though, I think I'd want someone who had the balance like me, that could take planning seriously but help me be spontaneous as well.

@ScribbledAdNauseum In my opinion, you need to have many things in common to go well in a marriage. We are both early birds, we both dislike crowd, we do not like wild parties. It would have not worked should we had been too different.

@LadyDuck I also think it's important to have similar tastes in foods. You don't have to like everything the other does, but there should be a willingness to try new things. My ex husband was not one of these people. I can count on one hand the things he would eat, and how frustrated I was that we never got to try new things because he simply wouldn't consider it. My best friend's husband is similar, but atleast he is more willing to try it. He may never eat it again, but he's more willing to try it. He will also eat something separate from her if she really wants something else, that isn't a notion my ex would entertain. Just memories of the way he was makes it hard for me to think I'll ever marry again. Being scarred (emotionally) as I was by him, and so early in my life, it makes it hard for me to trust.

@JohnRoberts :) Spontaneous only with what was planned for spontaneous spending. LOL

To the minute detail?

@ScribbledAdNauseum Close but not to such an extreme.

I am fortunate in that my friends and I have similar values and appreciation for things. I've not been disappointed when "going with the flow" with them. In fact, I am more apt to be more plan-y with family than with friends.

@ScribbledAdNauseum You're fortunate to have friends like that! I'm sure your camping trip will be super fun no matter what you all plan (or be spontaneous about) .

@much2say Well, I agree. However.. Well, I've known one friend for 19 years but while we would say we'd vacation together, we only did so once. Our mutual friend seems to have kicked us into a higher gear.

Some things it's better to plan for. Other times, it's much more fun to be spontaneous. A trip, for instance, needs to planned for more. Spontaneity is only okay if it costs little to no money.

@ScribbledAdNauseum Agreed. My best friend and I took her son to the zoo last weekend, it wasn't planned in advance, but that zoo has free admission and I didn't really have any other plans. However, the trip we're taking to Hershey this summer for a concert needed to be planned. I like to know when things like that are set in stone, so I can not only by tickets, but get excited lol.

@tammys85 Plus you might want to buy a shirt and those aren't cheap at concerts. My friend and I just went to eat lunch together. We had planned it, but we also made plans for another gathering on May 5th. When she was dropping me off she said "Oh, Joey (her husband) will pick you up Wednesday, alright?" I said "sure, I'll be ready." That was a planned - unplanned thing. She's going on a cruise and I am to pet sit. She didn't ask me, or I don't recall her asking me, but I had already assumed I would be pet-sitting for her. I'm her only friend that's unemployed and her animals know me.

So you only do things if you can do them spontaneously? Planning makes it less fun?

@abhinalstrikr Oh I see. I'm glad you found something that works for you! Do you ever have to plan with others? That can be difficult.

@ScribbledAdNauseum less planning works but if I plan for long I loose the charm and fun too,so planning in short time with no time lapse in implementing it works for me

@nela13 Sometimes things come up and it's good to be spontaneous. We would lead boring lives if we always planned, I think.

Spontaneity is good in life.

@ScribbledAdNauseum yes it is, I usually plan things but I always change and end up doing things spontaneously

@ScribbledAdNauseum .......I do the same.

I don't like to get myself in situations where I'll be anxious, ya know?

I like certain things to be spontaneous, but if it costs money, I'd rather it be planned.

I think it's good to have room for spontaneity, but I do want to know that there is the potential for spontaneity as well, if that makes since.

I agree with your last sentiment. This will be the second year that we've had "girl's trip" and in many ways, the planning was just as fun, if not more fun. Still, I like to be a bit of a monster when I plan, mostly because I have to work harder to earn the money towards vacations. That isn't to say my friend's don't work hard, but they get regular paychecks, I do not.

I had to learn to be more spontaneous. I used to get anxious if I didn't know the who, what, when, where's and why's. Now that doesn't bother me so much, but I do like to know enough so that I can be financially prepared. I like to have a itinerary ready as well, even if it isn't followed to a T.

That's one way to go about it. However, surely they eventually realized it was planned?

@ScribbledAdNauseum I am sure I will be caught if I have not been caught already. People know me too well.

It's hard to adjust when you are used to planning everything out, isn't it? It made me anxious when I first started being more spontaneous. Now I try to just go with the flow of things. However, when finances are involved, it's harder to be spontaneous. I have to work harder to save towards a vacation than my friends do.

@ScribbledAdNauseum Yes, it evokes a feeling of stress but sometimes life gives us no choices but to decide and act then and there

@Sojourn I agree, sometimes we can't help it. It's a growing moment, then, a learning process.

I like to know those little details as well. Now I think we are going to go to The Smokies. Nothing is completely set in stone, and yet I am ready for the plans to be cemented so I can start budgeting better. Atleast my friends realize and appreciate this. I just need to remind my anxiety and nervousness that it can cool down.

Exactly. A diversion. A planned trip but maybe a little spontaneity thrown in. Now I've proposed going to the Smokies. Two of us like that best, the third is probably sleeping at the moment, but hopefully she'll like that idea. Have you ever been to the smokies?

I'm more about spontaneity if it doesn't cost much to be that way. If it's going to cost a lot, I'd rather not do it, ya know?