The Search for an Old Friend
By Val
@valmnz (17099)
New Zealand
March 19, 2019 1:28pm CST
When I was a teenager in the 1960s writing to penfriendS was fashionable. I wrote letters to many people around the world, one of them a boy about my age in Germany. I took German at school and so he wrote in German and I wrote in English.
We kept in touch for many years, until we were both married in our early twenties. Communication became less frequent as our lives became more busy, until we eventually lost touch.
Some years ago I wondered if I could locate him by using the internet. I found his parents still lived at the same address, so sent a letter to him addressed there. Eventually I received a letter from his wife. It seems his life had not been a good one. He was an alcoholic and was living in an institution.
I was grateful to hear from her, but so sad a life that had seemed so full of promise had ended in such a way.
Since then I've tried tracing another penfriend using the internet, but girls usually
change names when they marry. So far I haven't had any leads.
Have you ever tried tracing someone you've lost touch with?
21 people like this
23 responses
@DianeBorg (784)
• Malta
19 Mar 19
Hi, sorry to hear about your friend. Did your penfriend girl had brothers or sisters maybe you can locate her with them, maybe on Facebook too.
3 people like this
@DianeBorg (784)
• Malta
20 Mar 19
@valmnz That's a pity, maybe do a search in Facebook, some people have a profile photo maybe you recognize her.
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17099)
• New Zealand
21 Mar 19
@DianeBorg lol I doubt my ten year old penfriend looks the same any more after 60 years
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Mar 19
One of my old penpals found me on Facebook. It was a nice surprise to hear from him again. He is from Morocco. We have never met, but we exchanged letters for several years.
I tried to find an old friend on Facebook. I thought I had found her. The person had the same first name, the same last name and the picture also looked like her. I contacted her, but she wasn't my old friend. I still haven't found her. She might have changed her name since that time.
3 people like this
@marguicha (215423)
• Chile
19 Mar 19
Now it seems easier to learn about people. Internet and FB help a lot.
3 people like this
well you certainly fit into the friend category but what's this about old? 
@wolfgirl569 (95165)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Mar 19
I have tried searching for one friend that after she moved we stayed in touch for years. Sadly I have had no luck and her parents have moved also.
3 people like this
@valmnz (17099)
• New Zealand
19 Mar 19
@wolfgirl569 yes it is easier lose touch.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (95165)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Mar 19
@valmnz I hope to meet her somehow again. But when she got married her husband was in the service. We lost touch over the years with her moving around with him.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (69413)
• Germany
19 Mar 19
You are a quick writer! Yours is a sad story, but at least you've received some information and can close the chapter. No open ending as in my case.
The internet is a good means for tracing people but if the people you can ask are of a certain age, it's possible that they don't use the internet.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (159008)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 19
How sad. I would really enjoy finding a gal I used to go to school with when I lived in another city. I went to school with her. Wonder what she is up to now. She has a very common name so it would be difficult to find her.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159008)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Mar 19
@valmnz ......They sure are when you go to find someone.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
20 Mar 19
I was not successful in getting penfriends and now the Internet has made up for it.
Sad that your friend has landed there. Atleast you got to know about him. Hope you will find your girl friend soon.
I did that with my classmates and managed to get together 14 almost 40 years after school. We now keep meeting.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
20 Mar 19
@valmnz 
They are not penfriends but mouse friends (lol)
They are not penfriends but mouse friends (lol)1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36442)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Mar 19
I have some friends that I have tried to locate that I have lost touch with. One girl, who I would love to reconnect with, I honestly don't know how to locate since I don't know her married name.
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
19 Mar 19
Oh wow, that is one interesting story. I never really had that situation happen before. I have only tried to find one person from my past, it was someone from school but I never messaged them because I am not a person to do that haha But at least I knew he was doing okay.
2 people like this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
19 Mar 19
While I went to school, we went to recreational classes (now in the second state of Croatia, and of old we were one state) We went to a school there and met the children from that school, we exchanged addresses at the end to stay in touch. We have been in contact for many years with letters, for years. And then there was a war between our two countries.
She stopped sending letters. After the war, I tried again to write to her several times, but the answer never came to me. I still remember her face, although many, many years have passed. She had a short black hair up to her shoulders and she was wearing a glasses with a diopter. Marina was called, she lived and went to school in Šibenik 
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17099)
• New Zealand
20 Mar 19
@LowRiderX at least she is there in your thoughts. Memories are precious.
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
20 Mar 19
@valmnz Now it's an impossible mission to find her. She probably married and changed her last name, I did not have her address anymore, long ago it was, we were children. I believe her parents were defending her to write to me. I do not want to think that something more horrible happened, I do not want to.. 
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Mar 19
Thanks to Facebook I have been able to find some people I used to communicate with, or went to school with. But there are some I have never been able to find and wonder about from time to time.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169965)
• United States
20 Mar 19
I did do this..a couple of times on FB..not sure one person even remembered me that much,,the other one, like you, I found someone who had a very checkered past,,and is currently in jail!!! I do have someone on my friend's list though that I dated in college.
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
My teacher (in Grade 5& 6) and I exchanged letters till I was in high school and even in my early college days till I lost touch of her. I was some sort of her "pet student" as she would ask me to come to school on some Saturdays and check the test papers of students. She would then prepare some snacks for me. When I graduated from Grade 6, she eventually went home to their place up north but she would occasionally send me letters when I was in high school. You're right - it is quite difficult to trace girls/women because the would change their surnames if they get married. I hope my teacher is still up and about these days and in good health.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
@valmnz That's great that you still met her, Ms. Val! I'm sure both of you were very happy to have crossed paths again.
