Death sentence.

@xFiacre (7062)
Ireland
April 14, 2019 5:33pm CST
Nothing fastens me to this rock other than the thread spun by an anxious Dutch spider. The judge ordered that I should be thusly tethered, and there now are only three hours left till the tide turns and starts it’s race across the Isabella sands. Half an hour later the salty water will be lapping at my neck, and if the wind picks up I’ll have seaweed wrapped around my head and then the choking will begin. The can be no appeal to the court to change the verdict; the sentence likewise is immutable, and I would much prefer to die from old age than from drowning in rising sea waters. If evolution wasn’t so slow I could grow gills and survive but that’s not going to happen in just three and a half hours. So I need to face my end and accept the sentence passed on me by the Blues to whom, incidentally, I have always been honest and true. Tomorrow’s papers will report without compassion that the sentence will have been carried out and that three gaolers died as they stood guard as witnesses to my demise. I will die with the taste of the sea in my mouth and I won’t be covered by my life insurance. However if I get crapped on by a passing seagull the surging tide will wash away the filth as it engulfs me, so it’s not all bad. My crime? Trying to read the name tag pinned on the shirt of a buxom waitress whose large chest was constantly bouncing up and down.
3 people like this
3 responses
@CarolDM (21584)
• United States
14 Apr
Oh my goodness, you are something else. Thanks for the laughs!
2 people like this
@xFiacre (7062)
• Ireland
14 Apr
@caroldm You’re welcome.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (157749)
• Bunbury, Australia
15 Apr
That is a crime indeed. Why did you need to know her name? You must have known trying to read the tag would lead to trouble.
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (7062)
• Ireland
15 Apr
@judyev Everything written must be read.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (157749)
• Bunbury, Australia
15 Apr
@xFiacre Oh of course - even jam jar labels and signs in toilets.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (157749)
• Bunbury, Australia
15 Apr
@xFiacre At that point, you could well be all three!
2 people like this
@xander6464 (11066)
• Wapello, Iowa
15 Apr
I call that entrapment. I hope that waitress is proud of herself.
@xFiacre (7062)
• Ireland
15 Apr
@xander6464 Oh she had plenty to be proud of.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (11066)
• Wapello, Iowa
15 Apr
@xFiacre That is the best kind of waitress.