what are the chances?

June 10, 2006 7:13pm CST
First, some history. My dh and I have been married for almost 5 years. Struggled w/ infertility pretty much since day 1. Tried a private adoption, fell through. Started fostering a little over a month ago, w/ intent to adopt eventually. Let worker know we would also do fost-adopt. Rec'd a 9 mos. old baby boy about a wk ago. He's absolutely gorgeous, and I really hope we get to keep him, but I know there is some risk involved. Here's the scenario-bd in and out of jail for several years, in right now-dom violence, drugs, alcohol, non-employed, no residence. bm has rec'd svcs since baby was 1 mo. old. Has been in several treatment programs, failed ALL. Mom and baby sent to rehab together in April. Mom told them at end of May that she could'nt do it anymore, and wanted to leave. They told her baby would NOT be released. She walked out and left all his stuff and him, would not contact or return calls. DID show at court, not sure when visits will begin. (supervised, of course) I'm a total newby, and I know nothing. Workers say his status IS fost/adopt, but they won't give me any REAL answers. What do the veterans of this group think? Does this sound good? I would really like it to be this easy, but I also know that nothing worth having comes easy, and I'm trying to make each day count while I have him. We are also fostering 2 toddler sibs that should RU in August or Sept. Thanks for any input!
2 people like this
8 responses
@babs6219 (153)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Like previous posters, I'd have to say it would be pretty good. In essence, when she left him in rehab, she abandoned him. That's got to count against her, plus having failed all the rehab. I hope you live in a state that permits the state to sever the rights of the biological parents after a certain time, instead of forcing a reunification over and over again. Here's a link, with foster/adopt information on each state. Good luck! http://adoption.about.com/od/bystate/Fostering_By_State.htm
1 person likes this
@reader (709)
• India
17 Dec 06
you are a heroic person, all the best to you in future
1 person likes this
@mitra8801 (268)
• India
21 Nov 06
sorry i couldnt understand whats the problem
1 person likes this
@ilse72 (1454)
• United States
16 Oct 06
You would have to check out your state laws. In many states, unless the birth parents sign away their rights, the child will always stay in the foster system. Some states have put a time limit on this and can sever the parental rights after so many years. Most states will sever the rights if a parent is found unfit but they almost always allow them time to get their act together first (and this also can be years). I'm sorry to say that I can't give you a definite answer because there isn't one. When it comes to babies, the truth is that the birth parents have all the rights...particularly if they never sign away their rights. That is why the workers arent' telling you anything...it is because they really don't know how things will turn out...they have no REAL answers because there aren't any. Good luck. I really hope it works out for you. (I've adopted.)
1 person likes this
@chukwudi (1100)
• Nigeria
3 Jan 07
just hope on God,i see you and your husband are impatient,and do not know the way forward,only sit down to know what you want and then go for it
@3acres (748)
• Singapore
27 Nov 06
what do you want us to do?
@suren2k6cse (2626)
• India
25 Nov 06
i cont get you
@nana1944 (1367)
• United States
25 Nov 06
I pray for the best for you and the foster child. Some people can not understand how someone can love somebody elses child as their own but I can.