Telling Men Their Fly Is Down: Okay for Women to Do It?

United States
November 29, 2006 1:14pm CST
I read an etiquette column in which a female wondered if she should tell a customer she didn't know very well that his fly was down when there weren't other men around. The columnist suggested that it was better if she could find a man to say something to the customer, but otherwise she should discreetly tell him. I was surprised that there is apparently a taboo or something against women telling men their fly is down. Do you personally believe in that? Why? I don't think it should matter who speaks up -- the guy probably wants to know. It's counterintuitive business like that that makes people question the legitimacy of etiquette in general.
1 person likes this
5 responses
• Netherlands
4 Dec 06
I do it. I tell them unless I don't like them. I will either be subtle about it or straight to it depending on the situation and how I am feeling.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
Thanks for the comment.
1 person likes this
@bowtieguy (5930)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Yes, I would be offended if no one tolsd me and I was left to be embarresed the whole day.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
I had this same experience with my Master Degree classmates. We were 7 in the group (composed of 2 single ladies and 4 married guys), one of out team was a 66year old doctor of medicine. We were going out to get some coffee when I noticed that his fly was open. It wasn't open as if I could see the inside, I just saw that it was open. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to say that to anyone plus I was afraid that other people might see him. So I approached one of my male classmate (the one younger than him but older than me he's 41) and told him, at first he panicked and didn't know how to tell him but eventually we ladies went ahead and he was beside him and told him as subtle as can be. Then it was fine. *LOL* But I couldn't believe it's really easier said than done. It's different in theory and when you are really dealing with it. Because you don't want to humiliate your friend, and you don't want others to see him like that as well, but you just can't go up to him and say 'your fly is open' specially if you're a girl. =)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Why can't you just go up and say that?
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
7 Aug 07
Definatly no etiquette I believe.. If his fly is down I would tell him with no hesitations at all..I know that i would like to know..It would be very embarrassing..and he would be thankful.
• Canada
1 Aug 07
If a guy's fly is open and I notice it, I just tell him it's open, and let him do what he will about it. What's so hard about telling a guy the truth? If his fly is down, you'd better tell him about it, or else it might be there all day.