What should I do if a friend just lost a family member?

@udayhase (173)
United States
November 29, 2006 7:10pm CST
I just found out that one of my friends just lost a grandfather that she was very close to. I really want to help, but I've never lost anybody myself, and frankly I don't know what to say to her.
6 responses
@spcbrass (1190)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Just tell your friend that you are sorry for her loss and that if she needs someone you will be there. That is about the best you can do. Be a good listener.
@udayhase (173)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Being a good listener. Sometimes, that's the hardest thing to do, because you want to help them in a way you can see it.
@unisis (1673)
• Indonesia
30 Nov 06
i am sorry to hear that please suggest her we are will not life everlasting also we need to be courageous
@udayhase (173)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I have a bit of trouble understanding your point, but I do agree that one cannot let themselves be weighed down by loss.
• United States
30 Nov 06
You can simply tell her that you are sorry for her pain and remind her friends are someone to lean on in times of trouble. She may or may not want to talk about her grandfather, but she may just want someone to be there at her side. Listening is the best gift you can give her at this time...listening without demands of any kind.
@udayhase (173)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Seems like that is the general consensus. I have decided to do just that, give her space and knowledge that there's someone to talk to. Thank you very much.
• United States
30 Nov 06
When someone loses a loved one there is really nothing you can say to try and make her feel better. Send a card or flowers to let her know you're thinking about her and you're sorry for her loss. Try not to bring it up unless she wants to talk about it because it might make her upset. She'll be greatful that you cared enough to do something for her and give her space to heal on her own without opening the wound when she sees you. So, try not to talk about it and pray that she makes it through this rough patch in her life. God bless!!
@udayhase (173)
• United States
30 Nov 06
A card would be a great idea! Thank you! Otherwise, I guess I'll just make sure that I don't hang over her.... Thank you everyone for the help! I just hope that when I go through loss,I will have a friend likewise to help me if I need their hand.
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
Just give him a space, time and your understanding. Letting him know that your just a call away is good enough.
@udayhase (173)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I suppose there's very little I can do besides that, but even knowing that, I still feel powerless.
@rosey2006 (945)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Go to your friends house as much as you can and let them know that you care.
@udayhase (173)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Thank you for your response, but I really am not able to see her all that much, mostly due to her busy schedule, but I'll try to let her know. I'm thinking a card would be nice.