My boyfriend...

@mayakup (1309)
United States
November 30, 2006 11:09am CST
seems to be acting really wierd lately and I can't understand why. He seems to be avoiding me and always acts distracted when I'm with him. He's changed so much and I don't know if he is planning to break up with me or if something is just wrong in his life. Please help.
3 people like this
45 responses
• United States
1 Dec 06
I am very sorry to hear this. The only thing I can suggest is asking him out right what's wrong. If you have a good relationship, you should be able to talk it out. Or, email if that is easier. But, I don't know how old you both are, how long or serious you are, so I could not really answer what the problem is. Do you care to share that? Please give me a + by my name if you are happy with my response. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
yes i think we will have to talk. I dont think he will liek talking about this though..
@YoMomma1 (922)
• United States
1 Dec 06
look through his cell phone incoming and outgoing logs, text messages and emails. seems to me that when a man acts like that for "no reason" he is either very unhappy with the relationship and doesnt feel its worth discussing and fighting about or hes cheating--sorry.. i hope im wrong : )
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I hope you are wrong too well thanks for the advice
@usmcsgtwife (4999)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I would check his phone records or just ask him whats going on. I am not sure if he is cheating but it's strange that he has been distant. That could be the reason
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Ok..I could try that..lots of ppl suggesting it. I hope he's not though
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Ok..I could try that..lots of ppl suggesting it. I hope he's not though
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Ok..I could try that..lots of ppl suggesting it. I hope he's not though
• India
30 Nov 06
my 2 cents we uys act that way in 2 cases something in botheing us and that we have some real issues on our mind or he is planning to dump you, i think you should ty to observe his behaviour with his friends without him knowing you are.It will reveal a lot and you will know what is up on him mind without invading his privacy.
• India
30 Nov 06
I meant up on his mind.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Ok I could try observing but it doesnt mean I'll know how to read any of what I see. Im not so good with things like that. If he dumps me Ill be SO upset geez..
• India
1 Dec 06
Just try to find out if he is acting the same way with his friends or not. That is if he is distacted or not when he is with them.
@sirohiya (194)
• India
30 Nov 06
he is a cheat he has used you
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Do you really think so? It's hard for me to believe
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Do you really think so? It's hard for me to believe
• United States
30 Nov 06
Its always hard to believe but sometimes you have to open your eyes and look deep down inside because it can be true.
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
30 Nov 06
honestly, it sounds to me like he's just not interested in you anymore, as horrible as that is to hear. but what i would do first is try to talk to him..dont assume that you know what's going on without talking to him about it first and giving him a chance to explain.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
yes I really need to have a talk with him, I just dont know what to say and honestly..I dont knoe if I WANT to know the truth
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
1 Dec 06
you might be scared, but that's normal. you dont want to hear something that will hurt you, but i think you NEED to hear whatever the truth is, even if you dont want to. it sounds like you're already hurting because of how this guy is treating you, and you shouldn't have to feel this way anymore. the truth will be better for the both of you so you can figure out how to fix the relationship or so that you can let go and find someone who wont treat you like this.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
thanks I appreciate your advice..it just really is harder to do then say as im sure u know. I am hurting
• United States
30 Nov 06
seems like he is interested in someone else
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I really hope not, I dont know what I'll do..I mean why wouldnt he just tell me? instead of stringing me on like that?
• United States
30 Nov 06
The reason he wont tell you is maybe he dont wan to hurt you, or maybe he just wants both of you. There are many men who dont tell thier wifes, girlfriend that they are cheating!
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
if that's true that is TERRIBLE!
• India
30 Nov 06
I think so talking with him frankly will help u more than asking other peopel their opinion. Other people dont know your boyfriend as you know him. They would come up with their own conclusions basing upon some facts. Now you have to decide whether you want to take the advice of people whom you dont even know or want to listen to your heart.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
thanks but my heart is confused and doesnt know what to do!
• India
30 Nov 06
you would have to make up your mind or else you may loose someone who really loves u.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I dunno, I guess I can talk to him but Im scared he wont be honest with me. I wont even know if he is being honest with me and that is the worst.
@spcbrass (1192)
• United States
30 Nov 06
One of the things you can do if you suspect he is cheatin gis to check the recent call list and recent message lists on his cell phone. If both are completely empty and usually are full then he may already be cheating. But before you accuse him of anything ask him if ther eis anything you can do to help him.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
ok thanks for your advice but I dunno if i should go snooping in his phone that is kinda invasion of privacy dont you think? or is it justified in this case?
@spcbrass (1192)
• United States
30 Nov 06
If you have reason to believe he is it may be justified, but first get a feel for the situation. Ask him if he neds to talk about anything, or if he needs anything.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I see, yeah you're right. I'll ask first though if anything is wrong..maybe i could help.
@mslena75 (562)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Do you suspect he could be cheating? The whole distracted thing and spending less time with you fits. Trust me, I have been there!
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I dunno..you're the second person that said this..if it's true ill go into depression
• United States
30 Nov 06
No man is worth you to go into depression, I had the worst man in my life, He beat me and cheated on me after I has twins with him, and then left me to raise my children by myself. But now I am in a wonderful realtionship. It takes time to heal but in the long run its worth it.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Wow! I am so sorry to hear that but Im glad youre in a good relationship now. Nobody deserves what you went through and you seem like a nice person and you deserve this good man you found now. I dont want to get depressed over this..I hope a find a good man
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
1 Dec 06
well, how long have you been together? you should talk with him and find out whats going on. talking with him is the best and not assuming that there is something else going on.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
he doesnt wanna talk :( its obvious
• India
1 Dec 06
hI Mayakup, I have a very good suggestion, ask your boyfriend to come to your home and make him sleep on your bed, take your soft hands and brush his hairs and kiss him on his forehead and now ask him, why it is the problem with him. Is there something which he is hiding from you? May be he has too many problems in life and thinking of which he might be a bit distracted when he is with you. so do what I say, talk to him, love him, kiss him make him feel like a child in your arms and take care of him. Once he is confidence that he can share his viewpoints with you , go ahead first listen to him and do not over react. LOVING SOMEONE IS VERY EASY, IT JUST TAKES EYES AND HEART. BUT TO KEEP THAT RELATIONSHIP GOING, IT JUST TAKE MORE THAN THAT.. ALL THE BEST, YOU WILL SURELY MAKE A WONDERFUL COUPLE.. HANG ON TO HIM AND TALK TO HIM. ALL THE BEST.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I actually did try to talk with him and he said I am being nosy and he was very annoyed by me, though I fell I have the right to ask and pursue this and see what's going on dont you think?
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
1 Dec 06
The best thing to do is sit him down and ask him what's wrong, and if he says,'nothing' don't let him off the hook, ask him if he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. I think it's best you deal with it now rather than let this continue and be caused further pain down the line.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
yeah you are right but he is so standoffish
@chweetie (431)
• India
1 Dec 06
i think you should talk to him about this, ask him the reason for these changes.tell him that you feel something is wrong and give him some instances why you feel so.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
i know im so confused though
@melody1011 (1665)
• India
1 Dec 06
Maybe there is really somethign wrong that he wont share with you. Tell him you are there for both the good times and bad. If he opens up good for you. Otherwise talk to him but if he does not like to talk dont force the issue. That could get him angry. Also try getting a hobby or a job. It will really help if you have something to do besides wondering and imagining whats going wrong. I have been there and getting a job really helped as i stopped calling him every hour and our relationship really improved. Now my bf waits till we have some time together. Hope it will work for you. Good Luck
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
thanks, I do have a job though, and I am quite occupied a lot of the time..but he is a big part of my life and I can stop thinking of it
• Philippines
1 Dec 06
hhmmm... . why dont you talk to him and clarify everything. . .if he still love you. . . talk to him . .
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
yeah Im gonna talk to him thats what everyone is saying!
@padhukr (2267)
• India
1 Dec 06
i don't wants the boy friends. girls only i wants the friends
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
sorry i dont think I understood can u please clarify? thanks
@edelweiss (1930)
• India
1 Dec 06
A lot of people have given here good suggestions here. You should sit with him and talk. Discuss what's on his mind. Is it you who is cause of his problems or something else is bothering him. Don't judge him immediately. Dont find solutions immediately. Think over it. Find solutions together. Don't commit yourself to him and beg. If its another girl, then he is not the right guy for you and not for the next girl either. He will eventually ditch her too. Such men are useless anyway. Women must understand men's mentality and accept that men never change (most of the time), even if they do, they keep going back to the past... i dont know its just a man thing. I am a guy, so i am telling you.
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
well thanks for giving me a guy's perspective it really helps.you seem to know what you're talking about.
• India
1 Dec 06
hey i am a boy
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
ok but how about the situation, from a guy's perspective what do you think?
@raj0019 (2629)
• Argentina
1 Dec 06
I think he is not interesting in you anymore, and now or then he is gona say good bye. Better you ask him fimnal time whether he want to continue or not. It will be better for you if you take the first step, i wish he is not like that. But it may be the possibility
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
1 Dec 06
i know im starting to think it more and more as more people tell me that!