Married for over 20 years - Is this a big feat?

@14missy (3185)
Australia
November 30, 2006 6:22pm CST
Why are so many people either not getting married or are divorcing or separating after only a short time? Is is good luck or good management do you think? It seems very rare to meet people who have been married for over 10 years now. What do you think?
3 people like this
9 responses
• United States
1 Dec 06
Well, there are many factors that go into play....I am divorced and have been for almost 3 years now. At one time I would have given my life for him, but something changed. WE grew apart and we argued constantly. I will always love him in a way, and we do have children together, but I could never fall in love with him again. Long story....
2 people like this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I can understand that. Having put my discussion up, I didn't quite include that I did separate from my husband for a year but now we are back together with a lot of changes to our relationship. I agree that people do grow apart and definately don't think that people should stay together for the sake of the kids if it is not working. I think we allhave long stories...ha ha
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Dec 06
Sure, long stories are what make people's lives intersting! For that time apart, did you see each other on a regualar basis? Were you living apart that whole time?
2 people like this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
We were living apart for 2 years and he was seeing someone else for a great deal of that time. I needed to be independant and know I could do things without any one telling me how or why or when. I actually managed to buy myself a house and new car in that time so I knew I could survive without a man!! But we started talking again about twelve months ago and decided with a lot of changes, we would try again. We moved state away from everyone we knew and started a new life together with the kids. That was 6 months ago now.
1 person likes this
• Australia
3 Dec 06
Congratulations on ten years! We have been happily married for 46 years. I agree many marriages don't last as long and I think much has to do with the lowering standards in every area of society. Divorce is the easy option and the government is willing to step in and help with the finance if children are involved. Commitment is an old-fashioned word, along with responsibility, accountability and self control or discipline.
2 people like this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Congratulations on your 46 years of marriage! We have actually been married for 20. I think 46 is a big feat these days. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@estherlou (5026)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Congratulations on your 46 years! We've been married 36 years. I think when you and I were growing up, you were taught that marraige was forever, and that divorce wasn't an option, so people worked harder at staying together. Nowadays, people BEGIN marraiges with "If it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce".
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
It does seem to be taken as'just a piece of paper" nowdays. Very sad that people go into a marriage thinking it isn't going to last.
• United States
1 Dec 06
In a couple of months, my wife and I will be married for 20 yrs. I cheated and picked Valentines day for our wedding day, so I wouldn't have an excuss for forgetting it.
2 people like this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Congratulations also. It is a big milestone nowadays. Doesn't matter if you cheated with the dates at least you'll remember one or both of them...
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@caramello (4382)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
My first marriage lasted 12 years and 2 children, could not live with a cheating husband, my second marriage is now 7 years and going strong. Mistakes are made and sometimes people don't want to try as hard, but if you find the right person then I think it just works.
2 people like this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
Thanks for your comment caramello. Its great that you could find someone to be trully happy with that treats you well (I hope).
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 06
It is rare. So many people are divorsed or living together. Well congratulations to you. I am married for 30 years, and still very much in love.
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
10 Dec 06
Congratulations to you too. It is even more wonderful that you have been married that long and still in love....
• United States
10 Dec 06
Thank you. Yes, we have a very strong marriage and are very much in love. It is a blessing. But, good marriages take communication and lots of work.
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
11 Dec 06
Definately agree with you on those two points. Your partner and you change over the years and you have to move with those changes.
• United States
21 Dec 06
I think it is great! My husband and I got married when we were 18, now it has been 38 years come April 26. It is good to hear of others that can stick it out. It was for better or for worse? If you love each other, you do what you have to, to work it out.
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
22 Dec 06
38 years congratultions! I think you must know the secret....
• India
15 Dec 06
what you think is like what i to do think.you are right because seeing people married for long is a rarity.i personally feel thta for a marriage to last its a policy of give and take. also both should be willing to yield
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
16 Dec 06
Definately! We are both strong willed people so we have had a struggle at times...Thanks for your comment
@ubukay (12)
• Australia
15 Dec 06
married for over twenty years..? Congrats, that is a big feat! this last febuary my parents celebrated their 50th anniversary. we threw them a big surprize party, was a wonderful day. in showing the photos to some friends, they all commented on on lovely it was that they (my folks) had been married for so long, but that how it was a rare thing, something not too many couples see. with that, i pointed out all the couples in the photos that had also been married 50 years or were about to celebrate their 50th too. so hey go for Gold
@123Jackey (285)
• China
13 Dec 06
i saw many poeple marriged for over 20 years.
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
It is a good thing if it is a happy marriage