Joke-Night before christmas-politically correct

@brendalee (6086)
United States
December 1, 2006 2:52am CST
Twas the night before Christmas (Politically Correct) 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck. How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to Elves, Vertically Challenged they were calling themselves. And labour conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E. P. A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their rooftops. Secondhand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called Unenlightened. And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in overdue compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football, someone could get hurt Besides, playing sports exposes kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe And Nintendo would rot your poor brain away. So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue. Everyone, everywhere-even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth. "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
22 Dec 06
thanks for sharing is that your dog in the picture very cute
@brendalee (6086)
• United States
22 Dec 06
That was my dog. He passed away about two months ago.
@vikceo (1301)
• India
18 Dec 06
to big to read and comment
• India
17 Dec 06
very intresting piece...nice to know these, how come u get to knwo so much
@heartonfire (4133)
• Denmark
10 Dec 06
wow,interesting twist and choice of words..and sadly true..since i grew up,with each year that passes i just cannot find that magic of christmas anymore..that joyfull spirit..everything tends to be so seriouse now and even the hollidays are a reason of trouble or sadness because maybe you have no opportunities and money to actually do something different and nice..and about all the forbidden things it is so true,politiciens come up with new laws each day,i don't know if they even give them too much thought,and they claim it's for a better word,but what about the corruption and poorness in this world?..i think we are on our way to kill santa too:)...i hope not